Kid next door playing basketball nuisance

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by SocSciProf

There's a saying: The two best times to plant an oak tree are 30 years ago and today. This saying applies here. The first best time to approach the parents was when it started, when the kid was a kid, and parents just moved into the neighborhood. You've let the parents believe everything was okay for ten years. Why should you expect them to think anything different? No one told them anything, gave them a chance to realize the problem and act.

So, the best opportunity was lost. Now, the kid is legally a kid but could be twice your height and muscle-bound. You spoke nicely to the kid, which was a good move. They ignored your request, so now you should approach the parents. No use bringing up "For ten years I said nothing" because that's not their fault. Further, by bringing it up now you have to face the fact that they may wonder whether you were okay with a small child but somehow have a problem with teenagers, or even teenagers from other areas of the region. That's unfortunate, but, well, just as you are making assumptions about how they'll respond, you should realize they may make assumptions about your motivation.

Yes, you could get the police involved. But realize, once the kid moves out, you may still have to live next door to them. Having a good relationship with next door neighbors is an asset that can pay dividends forever. Losing that asset by installing video cameras, alarms, and suggesting legal action, when they've never even been informed of a problem before--well, let's just say, you want them to be good neighbors, but, really, how good a neighbor have you been, and how good a neighbor are you being by assuming they won't work with you and get their kid to follow their rules?

All (or most) of the above, and especially the bolded. This situation speaks volumes for the benefits of being friendly and getting to know your neighbors not long after moving in, just to say "hi", at least. Then if a concern arises, they're easier to approach, there's no ice to break, and they may already think of you as the nice young woman next door.

A basketball would smach cactus, OP. Planting cactus isn't a solution. The saying "Good fences make good neighbors" exists for a reason, though, so that's a step in the right direction. They're expensive, though; it's too bad you have to go to that expense.

I wouldn't say the kid ignored the OP's request. It sounds like he chose to escalate the level of nuisance he was creating, as a response. Not a good sign. There was an opportunity for a teachable moment when he was a kid, if the parents had been notified and were amenable, but it's too late for that now.

This situation is also a good example of what happens when people are non-assertive from the outset of a problem, and let it drag on until it does escalate, and after acquiescing to it for years, they find themselves kind of painted into a corner. I still think that approaching the parents nicely should be the first step; notifying police should not be the first step. Or second step, if you count speaking with the kid as the first step. If you report the trespassing to the police, and they pay a visit to the family, the parents will feel blind-sided, and won't be inclined to be nice to you for keeping them out of the loop.

It smacks of passive-aggressive behavior; the passive part of it (all 10 years) has come back to haunt you. I wish I had a solution for this. The fence should help. If the ball winds up in your yard after you build a fence, you're then entitled to keep it. If he shows up to ask for it back, smile sweetly and tell him you thought it was a gift to you.

[Ultrarunner]

Kids and bad neighbors come and go...

I almost sold in a neighborhood when a local house became a drug house... it was horrendous and 3 years later they lost it to foreclosure... one of the thugs was shot and killed, another is in prison and one got religion... I saw the one that got religion when I was out shopping he said hello to me... that is how I learned what happened... he said he did not want to go down like they did... I just noded my head...

I kept thinking this too shall pass.

A fence and pitbull is how a lot of Hayward, San Leandro and Oakland residents handle trespass issues...

It's summer now and the neighbor kid and his friends are shooting hoops... it was quiet all year but school just got out...

[Garden girl 65]

Thanks again for all your input. I did talk to the father. He was working in his yard by himself over the weekend. It turned out good. I guess he was having some issues with his son and his friends ruining his front yard too. I didn't go into all the things I mentioned here. I just mainly mentioned that i'm having to go to the back of my house in the evenings because of the noise it makes in my front room. When it hits my fence it moves the bricks that I have in back to block skunks, etc from getting under my gate and into my yard. Plus, told him that my lawn cost me a lot of money and all the kids playing basketball on it all the time will ruin it. Basically everything I said to his dad, he agreed. A half hour later I peeked out my front window and noticed that his dad put the basketball hoop out in the street, in front of his house. What a difference it makes.
I know some of you mentioned that I should of talked to the parents sooner. Thought the same thing myself, although, the boy is about 16 years old now and I don't think the parents would of moved the basketball hoop out in the street at when he was a little boy. I don't blame them. Its the way these houses are built. Their garage/driveway is right near my living room window. Bad design!!!!
Anyway, thank you everyone for your advise. It was a big help to me. I am alone and it helped to be able to purge some of my frustration I was going through.
What a blessing to have peace again!!!!!

[Ultrarunner]

Hoping it works out better going forward...

Thanks for posting the follow up...

[Ruth4Truth]

That's great news, OP! I love happy endings.

[wasel]

This is actually a very, very sad story, feeling like you had no choice but to live with frustration for 10 YEARS? Wow. I hope you don't find yourself in another similar situation in the future, GG. You never know what kind of bad neighbor or disruption will happen in a residential environment.

[Netflix]

Great news. Give your neighbor a bottle of something if he drinks.

[VA All Day]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

OP, in 10 years, why have you not talked to the parents about this? You should have done that 10 years ago.

Yea, waiting this long has set a bad precedent.

Next time take the ball.

Edit: didn't see the last post, glad it worked out. Inconsiderate neighbors are infuriating as phuk.