Where should I move if I don't like living in Oakland? (San Jose: appointed, fit in)

[Blabla1234]

Hello!
I currently live in Oakland with my sister. At first it seemed great because we came from a small and very intolerant town, but both of us now feel we don't quite belong here. A few months ago both of us and our former housemates were evicted(owner move in) and after 2 months of couch surfing with no success so far in finding rooms we're considering leaving, though where to is still undecided.

The main issue is of course cost of living. Since we moved here the prices have skyrocketed and after being evicted(owner move in) finding a new place on a lower(for the area) budget has proved to be extremely difficult, especially considering the personality requirements most houses have for potential housemates.

Which brings me to the second problem- it feels like in Oakland, especially when looking for rooms, is extremely "social justice" oriented and favors a specific type of person. More of a hippy and/or hipster or social justice warrior type, or as a new friend I met hear says you must be an "extroverted QTPOC+ kinky artist and activist who enjoys walking around naked and discussing privilege over kombucha during communal house dinners/crafting sessions" if you want to fit in here. Any rooms in our budget are either co ops, which wouldn't be suitable even if we fit the personality/ideology requirements, and rooms where we don't fit the requirements(gender, needing alone time, race, not social justice oriented, personality etc) In our home town we were both seen as too liberal/left wing to fit in but here although there are many nice peoplee it feels like we're both too "basic", as I've been told, to live in Oakland, and to some people also can be associated with techies and gentrification.

I've been making an effort to learn what things are offensive to people here and adjust my behavior if needed but it seems that list is constantly growing and being an introverted straight pale skinned man(or woman, as my sister has experienced similar hostility in college and of course looking for a new room) generally doesn't fly around here. I know it isn't personal and perhaps I deserve it, but coupled with housing prices it seems best to leave for now.

I'm pretty flexible for now, but my sister is currently in college(community college, she wants to transfer to a 4 year school for chemical engineering) so I'd prefer somewhere with good schools so she can transfer her credits. What cities in the US could be somewhat similar to the Bay Area but less... Intense? It's been nice living here but I'm hoping to find a place that's similar in some ways(liberal, lots to do, a fun place to be etc) only without or with a lot less of the hippy, hipster and social justice warrior elements. We're both nerdy and fairly introverted, really the main things I'm looking for beyond colleges for my sister(hopefully with out of state fees that aren't insane to save money for when she transfers) are public transport- good enough to be able to live without owning a car, and more affordable housing compared to the Bay area.

[neutrino78x]

San Jose! Move to downtown San Jose! I used to live there and I loved it. Check out craigslist for rented rooms there.

[jade408]

Even though your post is full of stereotyping I'll try to be helpful. Sounds like you are just not picking the right roommate situations. I know plenty of introverted white nerds who live in Oakland with roommates. You could maybe expand to Berkeley but if you think everyone is a picky social justice warrior or whatever you called it you'll likely be disappointed. You are pretty limited to Berkeley and Oakland if you want workable transit and roommates. There might be a few places in Albany and El Cerrito.

Your best bet is to open up your search more. Not every single room share is looking for a ***** person of color that is an artist although it looks like you have the lingo down quite well.

[Perma Bear]

Move to flint

[Blabla1234]

Sadly we can't afford San Jose The rooms there cost more than in Oakland, and we can barely find anything on our budget here. Its getting up there with Dan Francisco in rental prices it seems, guess the landlords there want to cash in on tech workers. At this point as long as its not in the bible belt any state is a possibility.

[neutrino78x]

Well, can you afford 750?

Very nice room in quiet house

[candalf]

Sacramento?

Midtown/downtown areas specifically, as they are fairly walkable.

[Perma Bear]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

Well, can you afford 750?

Very nice room in quiet house

What a rip off

[Blabla1234]

Its mostly quotes from friends, I'm not sure how to describe it myself beyond "hippy" to be honest so I used that even if it sounds a bit too stereotypical because hippy sounds a bit too vague maybe. Technically our parents immigrated from the middle East but after a few people said I'm still white if I have pale skin I just say white because I guess I didn't understand enough. But that's not relevant to anything I guess.

So far been applying to aywhere in my budget within Oakland Berkeley el Cerrito Albany etc. Excluding co ops and any ads which explicitly state they have these demands and any "commuter" rooms that only allow weekday use. Most of the rooms we've both seen so far said similar things when I or my sister went to see the rooms, and that they're looking for these types of people because they actually deserve to live here. And of course there are many who just don't call back or want someone with very high credit etc. Maybe its just my fault for misunderstanding the ad or the culture or just had luck but so far it seems that my budget is too low for anything without these types of requirements. So maybe its best to leave rather than try and force it.

[Perma Bear]

Originally Posted by Blabla1234

Its mostly quotes from friends, I'm not sure how to describe it myself beyond "hippy" to be honest so I used that even if it sounds a bit too stereotypical because hippy sounds a bit too vague maybe. Technically our parents immigrated from the middle East but after a few people said I'm still white if I have pale skin I just say white because I guess I didn't understand enough. But that's not relevant to anything I guess.

So far been applying to aywhere in my budget within Oakland Berkeley el Cerrito Albany etc. Excluding co ops and any ads which explicitly state they have these demands and any "commuter" rooms that only allow weekday use. Most of the rooms we've both seen so far said similar things when I or my sister went to see the rooms, and that they're looking for these types of people because they actually deserve to live here. And of course there are many who just don't call back or want someone with very high credit etc. Maybe its just my fault for misunderstanding the ad or the culture or just had luck but so far it seems that my budget is too low for anything without these types of requirements. So maybe its best to leave rather than try and force it.

Move to Portland if you're hippie like. It's just like old SF.