Were you going to tell me about the gangs running rampant? (San Francisco: crimes, hotel)

[kindafedup]

ok since I've opened up a bit and told more people in my circle that my trip to SF is nearing, I've been getting all kinds of feedback. I've been told by some that visited and a couple that live near the city (but not in) that it is far too dangerous for a single woman to visit alone. Some even say they only go to the city during the day and wouldn't dare leave out a night because of what they saw.


My main concern was that I was in a safe area and not near areas known for gang activity (random drivebys, senseless stabbings). Homeless, hookers and pimps I can deal with. But not hardcore criminals and mini-thugs with chips on their shoulders, needing target practice with weapons aimed to fire.


So I'm told that there are gangs throughout the city and nobody wants to talk about it because it's a tourist destination. I am not a typical tourist-- yes I will be touring the city but I am not on vacation to get away from whatever. I'm trying to relocate here and I don't want to be misled. I want to know what I'm getting myself into. I'd rather be fully prepared when I get there and adjust to the differences than come in naivity and have something horrible ruin my experience and ban it from my move-plans altogether.

I've heard online that generally SF people are good-natured and will extend a helping hand. Just ask a stranger and they will point you in the right direction. PERFECT. My kind of city. Now I'm hearing dear ones saying 'ask a stranger and they'll point you to the Mission.'

In fact in hindsight a woman that I met HERE over a year ago from Cali told me to go to Ingleside as it was BEAUTIFUL. I didn't really trust her and later I read something about it being not-so-desireable/crime-ridden. ?? She had ILL-INTENTIONS. That is not the atmosphere that I want to be in. After the rave reviews, I was deperately hoping that SF was mostly devoid of that.


Now I'm hearing horror stories about women getting lured into fake taxicabs that are not real taxicabs and fake (uniformed) police officers 'assisting' you to a safer area only to lure you into the wrong neighborhood to rape and kill. Common sense can't really save you on that one. A cab is a cab and a cop is a cop to a visitor. How should I know what a legit cab is if it's painted the part with service number to match? Try resisting a real cop and see if you ever try it again.

Now does anyone agree on this in the city? Or are they trying to scare me? Because if so they are doing a good job of it.

Seems like rather than plain common sense you need MAJOR street smarts. Gimmicks on every corner, they say. Accent & style of clothing gives you away--immediate target. I've got SOME street smarts but mostly the smart part is to stay off the streets. lol. I may be in no way able to distinguish a con man from a truly helpful stranger.

Of course my loved ones have my best interests at heart and are probably more concerned with me going alone but How true is all of this? Does it make any sense to anyone?

I know I ask alot of questions and need alot of reassurance on this whole matter but this is a major life change and fairly dangerous regardless of Where I'm going.

I've been re-thinking it alot. I'm a bit stubborn and chances are I will still go but I just don't want to step into a boiling pot. I would have been forewarned. Is there anyone out there who has not spoken up that can agree to this? Any forum regulars that can laugh at me and tell me I'm being bamboozled? Any input will be helpful.

With all the possbile dangerous situations I could encounter (tales I've been told in the past few hours) I can just see my plans deteriorating.


So were you going to tell me about the gangs? Or is this just a bunch of over-exaggerated poppy-****?

SORRY SO LONG. Kinda venting, ranting and freaking out--again.

P.S. New visitors in my position PLEASE don't let this post scare you but do take the replies into consideration, whatever they may be-- affirmative or negative.

[ImRandy]

Originally Posted by kindafedup

Some even say they only go to the city during the day and wouldn't dare leave out a night because of what they saw.

I have no doubt that there are some who behave that way but to rational people it is ridiculous.

Originally Posted by kindafedup

My main concern was that I was in a safe area and not near areas known for gang activity (random drivebys, senseless stabbings). Homeless, hookers and pimps I can deal with. But not hardcore criminals and mini-thugs with chips on their shoulders, needing target practice with weapons aimed to fire. So I'm told that there are gangs throughout the city and nobody wants to talk about it because it's a tourist destination. I am not a typical tourist-- yes I will be touring the city but I am not on vacation to get away from whatever. I'm trying to relocate here and I don't want to be misled. I want to know what I'm getting myself into. I'd rather be fully prepared when I get there and adjust to the differences than come in naivity and have something horrible ruin my experience and ban it from my move-plans altogether.

There ARE gangs throughout the city. Just like there are gangs throughout every city. Just because there are gangs in an area doesn't mean it's an area marred by violence.

Originally Posted by kindafedup

...Now I'm hearing dear ones saying 'ask a stranger and they'll point you to the Mission.' In fact in hindsight a woman that I met HERE over a year ago from Cali told me to go to Ingleside as it was BEAUTIFUL. I didn't really trust her and later I read something about it being not-so-desireable/crime-ridden. ?? She had ILL-INTENTIONS. That is not the atmosphere that I want to be in. After the rave reviews, I was deperately hoping that SF was mostly devoid of that.

I'm not sure you can say she had "ill-intentions" solely because she thought a particular area was attractive. She may have been unaware of what the area was like or she may just flat out have a different opinion of it.

Originally Posted by kindafedup

Now I'm hearing horror stories about women getting lured into fake taxicabs that are not real taxicabs and fake (uniformed) police officers 'assisting' you to a safer area only to lure you into the wrong neighborhood to rape and kill.

You forgot about alien abductions. While it's true that some criminals have posed as employees of other companies/agencies to gain access to people's homes to commit a crime, this isn't a usual occurrence.

Originally Posted by kindafedup

Seems like rather than plain common sense you need MAJOR street smarts. Gimmicks on every corner, they say. Accent & style of clothing gives you away--immediate target. I've got SOME street smarts but mostly the smart part is to stay off the streets. lol. I may be in no way able to distinguish a con man from a truly helpful stranger.

No, plain common sense is all one needs.

[sonarrat]

What's wrong with Ingleside? It's true that it's not so desirable, but that's not because of crime. It just isn't close to the downtown attractions. It's not "trendy." It's not the San Francisco in the postcards. That counts for a lot, and people will pay more to be in the Mission just so they can say they live in the Mission.

[humboldtrat]

For crying out loud!. This isn't Baghdad. People aren't dropping like flies from shootings and stabings. San Francisco is as reasonably safe as any other US city.

[GreenGirl]

Originally Posted by humboldtrat

For crying out loud!. This isn't Baghdad. People aren't dropping like flies from shootings and stabings. San Francisco is as reasonably safe as any other US city.

Thank you!

Thousands of women wondering alone all over San Francisco at this very moment and they're doing just fine.

San Francisco is a city with all of the problems that are common to that environment, no more no less. You're sliding from cautious to paranoid to absurd.

[kindafedup]

Originally Posted by humboldtrat

For crying out loud!. This isn't Baghdad. People aren't dropping like flies from shootings and stabings. San Francisco is as reasonably safe as any other US city.

Please try telling that to the people who are telling me this. :P They are seriously freaking me out.

Wow. All of the points you guys made are stellar. I always appreciate diffferent perspectives and it's very good to hear again from this crowd.

Still doesn't some of it have to have some weight or why would they all be telling me this? Good to hear those horrific points were negated. I still can't shake some of the images of the pictures they've painted.

Even over the horror stories, one of the scariest things said to me was, after I said I just didn't want to be a walking target, my BFF said something along the lines of
"Think about it. You're by yourself, you don't know where you're going,where you're at, who to trust, could ask the wrong people for help, If ever there was a walking target it would be you." Just great.

Very glad that the whole going-out-of-the-way-to-create-a-cab-business-to-lure-a-stranger-away scenario is not so common. It could happen anywhere but it seems like they're saying it's happened alot there. So thanks for clarifying that.

I need to let people stay out of my head. I was completely ok and roaring to go until people started showing too much concern. The looks on their faces, you'd have thought I said I was camping with starving grizzlies. It was like 'you'll surely die'.

I'm pretty sure they'll think I'm crazy for going through with it and have more horror stories to tell. Maybe I should have just kept it to myself and told post-flight. lol. But still they made good points too. Liike the woman going alone aspect (even though it CAN be done-- many women do it by themselves all the time). I believe there's another woman on this board that is going alone too. She doesn't seem worried at all.

The responses are refreshing but forgive me if I still seem hesitant. This is one of those things I'll have to do first and talk about later, I guess.

But, I bet I'm going to have to find someone to buddy up with to settle my nerves. Really don't need that hassle.

[tangodoodles]

No offense but you sound a bit paranoid. Really, if you keep your wits about you and use common sense you should be fine. And althought I just got to SF this morning, the people have been nothing but accomodating and more than willing to point me in the right direction. Also, you can pretty much tell by looking which areas should be avoided. Just don't approach people who look unfriendly. If need be, approach a concierge in a hotel and ask them if you have any questions about directions or events you'd like to know more about. They're paid to be polite and correct, you can always give them a tip in appreciation. I'm sure you'll have fun, don't worry yourself to death.

[GreenGirl]

Another tip: If you think you need help or directions, ask a woman. Really, the streets are crawling with them.

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by GreenGirl

Thank you!

Thousands of women wondering alone all over San Francisco at this very moment and they're doing just fine.

Yep. I'm a single woman, and have been so for many years - last time I lived with a s.o. was 14 years ago! I currently live with roommates, but until last year I'd lived alone for about 9 years... in Stockton (bad), East Palo Alto (worse), San Francisco, and other non-rural areas. I guess you just get used to the little problems, and learn to be smart about stuff. For instance, I do walk alone quite frequently, but usually just in neighborhoods I'm familiar with. I ALWAYS lock my car & house doors, never flash money in public, only stop for the homeless people I know (or feel particularly sympathetic towards), don't go into dark alleys, and just stay generally aware.

I personally think SF is a very safe city, compared to other big metros at least... but like I said earlier, it's all in your personal perspective. If this counts for anything, I'm still alive after 25 years (on & off) in the SF metro, and nobody I know has been shot, stabbed, or even mugged. Those are pretty good odds, right? I also walk my dog EVERY night after 11pm, and don't even see anyone out, let alone feel like I'm in danger. And I live at the edge of Bayview, which most people think is a 24/7 warzone.

My final piece of advice to the original poster - come here and see it for yourself! Talking to people on the internet will only give you a headache, since you'll hear the worst-case scenarios, gloomy/pessimistic people, and those who are overly optimistic or ill-informed. The only way to really figure out if SF is for you is to visit... try to make it a long trip, and don't just stick to tourist spots. Mkay?

[artemis78]

Yeesh. Not to worry! San Francisco is a great city, and it's pretty safe as cities its size go. I'm yet another woman who has spent a lot of time walking around the city at night by herself with no trouble (and to top it off, I even sometimes take the late bus home and then walk around *Oakland* after dark, also without getting mugged! Plain old common sense is all you need to have a good time. Buy a nice guidebook (I keep copies of the Rough Guide and Lonely Planet on my shelf for visiting friends) and visit the places that strike your fancy. (Also good resources for finding a friendly place to stay--that will go a long way in making your visit a relaxing and comfortable one!) Yes, it's a city, and crimes do happen from time to time--but just use your head and you're unlikely to be a victim.

There are gangs in some parts of SF, but they're certainly not "roving the streets" (and they could care less about tourists!) Cabs are cabs and cops are cops--your friends have been hearing urban legends. If you're worried, ask the concierge where you're staying for the name and number of a reliable cabbie--you can then call and have a cabbie you've already met (and who is relying on good reports from you to get future referrals from the hotel!) come get you. Public transportation (MUNI) is also pretty decent in most parts of the city, and is a good, safe way to get around--you can buy a pass for the time you'll be in town.

Come, relax, and enjoy the visit.

(Oh, and I have friends who live in Ingleside and think it's quite nice--but it's a residential area, a bit of a haul on MUNI from downtown, and there's not much to see, so it's not exactly a tourist destination. Unless you're visiting someone there, can't really imagine it would be on a first-timer's list...)