I was accused of saying something inappropriate at work

[18Montclair]

Originally Posted by Cinema Cat

If you have evidence of others saying offensive things, then my advice is: Get an attorney and go on the offensive. Threaten to sue before they sue you.

I'd argue:

1. Because the company allowed this offensive "banter," the company created a hostile work environment, indicating that they approve offensive "banter." The company's fault, not yours.

2. If you deserve punishment, so too do all the co-workers whose texts you have. If the company punishes only you, then they are discriminating against you. They must punish all wrong-doers equally, or face discrimination charges.

* Collect all your evidence.

* See an attorney who specializes in employment law.

* Go on the offensive.

Exactly.

And DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING that takes away your ability to sue or seek arbitration.

Fortunately there are lots of resources in this area to help employees who are unfairly treated.
https://www.justia.com/lawyers/emplo...-bono-services

[golgi1]

Originally Posted by WizardOfRadical

Sounds like a newbie, tech worker, transplant.

Rule number one: Co workers are co workers, not friends.

Rule number two: reveal as little as possible about your personality, lest it become water cooler gossip that reaches HR

Come in, do your job, and leave. Don't mingle, skip the happy hour. Always have an excuse to avoid company parties. Better to be the mystery guy, that the woman im the office want to know, but can't. Versus being an open book with no secrets.

Oh yea, keep social media private. Block co workers.

This strategy always made sense, but also used to backfire a bit in my experience. It would make hyper-social people insecure, and they would gossip as a result. Though, maybe in today's environment it would be better accepted as common sense for everyone. I would guess that would widely vary by location.

[Ruth4Truth]

OP? Update?

[iExtrapolate]

Originally Posted by WizardOfRadical

Sounds like a newbie, tech worker, transplant.

Rule number one: Co workers are co workers, not friends.

Rule number two: reveal as little as possible about your personality, lest it become water cooler gossip that reaches HR

Come in, do your job, and leave. Don't mingle, skip the happy hour. Always have an excuse to avoid company parties. Better to be the mystery guy, that the woman im the office want to know, but can't. Versus being an open book with no secrets.

Oh yea, keep social media private. Block co workers.

Good luck climbing the corporate ladder...

[Astral_Weeks]

Can't tell if the OP is a troll or not. If not, good luck.

The following story is 100% true and it happened to a friend of mine back in the mid-2000's.

He was working for a large company in So.Calif. He was not in any management position. A male co-worker friend sent a group e-mail to some fellow employees about organizing a happy hour. My friend, let's call him Dan, replied to the e-mail as "reply to all" by mistake and wrote, "Hey great idea. Be sure you invite the hot new girl in Dept. A."

He thought it was just to his one male co-worker when in fact it was to a larger group that included males and females in multiple departments. The "hot" new girl was not in his department and as I said he had no managerial supervision over anyone.

Well somebody got offended and reported him to H.R. The person who was offended was NOT the "new hot girl" but some other female who was on the email chain.

Suffice it to say my friend got called into the CEO's office for a talk. Just so happens he had done a few happy hours with the somewhat youngish CEO. The first thing the CEO said to Dan was, "So how hot is she?"

After a chuckle the CEO got my buddy to send out an apology e-mail. The best part of the story is my friend Dan actually went on a few dates with the "hot" new girl. He said she was one of the hottest and wildest ladies he ever hit the sack with. And she was the one that ended it. He would have gladly kept seeing her....

[Mon-Mon]

Originally Posted by Cinema Cat

If you have evidence of others saying offensive things, then my advice is: Get an attorney and go on the offensive. Threaten to sue before they sue you.

I'd argue:

1. Because the company allowed this offensive "banter," the company created a hostile work environment, indicating that they approve offensive "banter." The company's fault, not yours.

2. If you deserve punishment, so too do all the co-workers whose texts you have. If the company punishes only you, then they are discriminating against you. They must punish all wrong-doers equally, or face discrimination charges.

* Collect all your evidence.

* See an attorney who specializes in employment law.

* Go on the offensive.

With all due respect, I have to disagree 100% with this advice. For one thing, you can't just sue just to go on the offensive. The vast majority of lawyers are not interested in wasting their time and resources on a lawsuit like that. California is also an at-will state, which means your employer could fire you for pretty much any reason, except for discrimination. And you must prove the that the firing was motivated by discrimination, and most of the time, that is nearly impossible to prove. Also, if this person actually did engage in sexual harassment and racial discrimination, he can't argue that "everyone else is doing it, therefore, I shouldn't be punished." The fact of the matter is that he got caught and reported, and that's all the courts care about. The best thing for the original poster to do is to learn from this experience, and endeavor to avoid this type of behavior at future workplaces. I understand that his workplace is toxic, but ultimately, it doesn't matter that everybody else was doing it in the eyes of the law or in the eyes of your employer.