For techies - when in Rome... (Nice: living in, cost, shop)

[NoMoreSnowForMe]

There definitely are pre-existing prejudices out there. When I lived in Mexico, and hung out with some Canadian snowbirds, I often put up with them trashing Americans. When I'd finally say, um, you do realize I'm American, right? They'd say, Oh, you're an honorary Canadian. But, the truth was that they were trashing my culture in front of me, which basically meant they were hugely insulting me.

Another time, a Canadian friend told a group in front of me of Canadians, and me, the American, about how he had behaved as an "Ugly American." I couldn't help myself. I said, "Uh, no, you are Canadian, and you were acting in an ugly manner, hence you were acting like an Ugly Canadian. There was no American involved at all."

But, this is also a common thing I've heard when traveling - that someone (who is not an American) is acting like an ugly American. Hello, if you're not an American, and you are acting in an ugly fashion, you don't get to blame it on a completely separate culture!

At any rate, I guess my main point here is to point out that if someone comes into my home, they should not insult me. And I believe that translates to including my entire country. I don't think anyone should come into my country, as a guest, and then insult me, as their host.

Even if it's something as simple as how I eat an orange - especially, when they consider that I am someone who grew up where oranges were grown, plucked from the tree, and eaten in my local customary way.

Yes, it's a small thing, but it results in the same thing - insulting your "host."

I don't think anyone would appreciate that, wherever they are from.

[JJonesIII]

You could just brush it off or solve the problem by either not associating with these people, or figuring out ways (such as the fence suggestion) not to have to deal with them. I simply don't deal with people I consider rude. It does appear that these acquaintances have hit a nerve with you (otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread).

[NewbieHere]

It’s rude that they criticize you but I don’t think your way is right. I prefer to cut my orange and I grew up in a Orange County, lol. My husband prefers to peel his orange.
Note erything Americans do is practically like how some Americans insist on eating Chinese food on a plate with chopsticks. That seems so impractical, why don’t they just use forks instead. But I won’t criticize anyone if they do.

[04kL4nD]

Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe

Hmm, a tad hostile are we? The people I was referring to are wives of tech workers who are here on immigrant visas, which is why I was referring to them - which I explained in my OP. So, not sure why that's confusing to you.

Huh?

Literally nothing in your OP mentions anything about THEM being tech workers, let alone about them being the wives of tech workers. You just said they were highly educated women that you met at the Library's ESL club. You did mention Silicon Valley towards the end, but I still fail to see how this is a "techie" issue as opposed to a general human decency issue. Did you write the title of this thread accidentally?

If you found it rude, that's fine, but you should have explained it to them right there and then that it's impolite to criticize a host as an invited guest.

To me, it sounds like you're lumping in techies with rude immigrants, and I think it's a bit disingenuous to frame it that way. Maybe they're just rude people PERIOD. Or maybe they don't really like you and were acting that way to give you a hint.

Also, it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself (or maybe total strangers on a message board) that you "LOVE" immigrants, when deep down, you resent them and wish they'd behave in ways that reflect your values.

This is your thread, and I've said all I have to say, but maybe you shouldn't try to stereotype so much.

[NoMoreSnowForMe]

Originally Posted by 04kL4nD

Huh?

Literally nothing in your OP mentions anything about THEM being tech workers, let alone about them being the wives of tech workers. You just said they were highly educated women that you met at the Library's ESL club. You did mention Silicon Valley towards the end, but I still fail to see how this is a "techie" issue as opposed to a general human decency issue. Did you write the title of this thread accidentally?

If you found it rude, that's fine, but you should have explained it to them right there and then that it's impolite to criticize a host as an invited guest.

To me, it sounds like you're lumping in techies with rude immigrants, and I think it's a bit disingenuous to frame it that way. Maybe they're just rude people PERIOD. Or maybe they don't really like you and were acting that way to give you a hint.

Also, it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself (or maybe total strangers on a message board) that you "LOVE" immigrants, when deep down, you resent them and wish they'd behave in ways that reflect your values.

This is your thread, and I've said all I have to say, but maybe you shouldn't try to stereotype so much.

Wow. Try some chamomile tea.

[NewbieHere]

Originally Posted by 04kL4nD

Huh?

Literally nothing in your OP mentions anything about THEM being tech workers, let alone about them being the wives of tech workers. You just said they were highly educated women that you met at the Library's ESL club. You did mention Silicon Valley towards the end, but I still fail to see how this is a "techie" issue as opposed to a general human decency issue. Did you write the title of this thread accidentally?

If you found it rude, that's fine, but you should have explained it to them right there and then that it's impolite to criticize a host as an invited guest.

To me, it sounds like you're lumping in techies with rude immigrants, and I think it's a bit disingenuous to frame it that way. Maybe they're just rude people PERIOD. Or maybe they don't really like you and were acting that way to give you a hint.

Also, it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself (or maybe total strangers on a message board) that you "LOVE" immigrants, when deep down, you resent them and wish they'd behave in ways that reflect your values.

This is your thread, and I've said all I have to say, but maybe you shouldn't try to stereotype so much.

Yeah, I got that underlying resentment.

[04kL4nD]

Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe

Wow. Try some chamomile tea.

The fact that you're being so defensive, let alone dismissive, of my observations is kinda proving my point.

[tonym9428]

Quit being childish people.

With that said, there is plenty of reason to expect immigrants to assimilate as soon as possible. To learn and speak english, to dress American, to express pride in America, to follow American standards of behavior, and so forth.

Immigrants who don't assimilate or behave properly make the REST OF US immigrants look poor. That is why I'm so vocal about the lack of cultural assimilation I see from Indian and Chinese immigrants.

[NewbieHere]

I say absorb the good and throw out the bad from both cultures, wherever you are from. Dont be a stick in the mud, there many ways to do things, not just one way or my way or highway.

[JJonesIII]

Originally Posted by tonym9428

Quit being childish people.

With that said, there is plenty of reason to expect immigrants to assimilate as soon as possible. To learn and speak english, to dress American, to express pride in America, to follow American standards of behavior, and so forth.

Immigrants who don't assimilate or behave properly make the REST OF US immigrants look poor. That is why I'm so vocal about the lack of cultural assimilation I see from Indian and Chinese immigrants.

Really Tony? Profile much. Rudeness is one thing, but lack of any acceptance other than what you deem "American" is also wrong. Lord forbid someone that is Sikh wear a turban. You sound completely close minded. That's not exactly American in my book. Stop stereotyping immigrants. I hardly think you speak for all.

Originally Posted by NewbieHere

I say absorb the good and throw out the bad from both cultures, wherever you are from. Dont be a stick in the mud, there many ways to do things, not just one way or my way or highway.

Agree