How do I meet people in this town? (San Francisco, Berkeley: fit in, transplants)

[axm321]

Just moved to San Francisco from Richmond VA and I'm about to go insane.....I just have no idea how to meet people.....help me out if you have a great idea.

[MachineKnownAsLosAngeles]

craigslist

[gizmo980]

What do you like to do? Find a social group for people who do the same, and I bet you'll make some friends. For instance I'm a musician, so I belong to 2 orchestras in the area - and have met lots of great people through them. I've also met people at the dog park, so that's an idea if you have a dog. And if you're religious or even just spiritual, consider joining a church, temple, mosque, etc. Keep trying!

[NorthernCalifornia]

skip the internet, nobody is the same in real life.

I definitely recommend seeking out activities, places and environments that appeal to you. You'll find like-minded people there. The internet is useful for finding these places, activities, group. SF has everything, seriously.

In SF many people are very friendly and many are cold snobs like anywhere else. If you start a conversation in a public place most people worth talking to will respond and it's easy to develop acquaintances in the places you frequent in your day-to-day. Over time many of those can mature into real friendships.

Lastly I recommend taking all the offers you've got when you're new in town. Sometimes you won't fit in or enjoy it but it will help you get out, see the town and get a feel for your niche.

You make your best friends through other people. As they say, the people you meet in the first six months in a new city will introduce you to the people you'll say goodbye to when you leave six years later.

[sav858]

ask em if they want to smoke a bowl........seriously though.....

[City Boy]

Originally Posted by axm321

Just moved to San Francisco from Richmond VA and I'm about to go insane.....I just have no idea how to meet people.....help me out if you have a great idea.

Work. Bars. Clubs. Gym. Social Events. Super Market. etc

[ImRandy]

Unless you work from home, have groceries delivered, and never go out you should be meeting dozens of people a day. At least half of them could be a potential date.

[tkindred]

Originally Posted by axm321

Just moved to San Francisco from Richmond VA and I'm about to go insane.....I just have no idea how to meet people.....help me out if you have a great idea.

I've been here for almost 2 years on and off and haven't met that many people. Mostly Asians, not second generation, the ones born overseas and visiting here. Had one girlfriend, Chinese. Dated Koran now Japanese. Oh, and the Hispanics are cool too, more down to Earth, not full of themselves like a lot of people here are. Most of the blacks try to act like they are from the ghetto, rostafarian or they are homeless and many of the whites act like they are so "liberal" and "all knowing" or hippy. No one seems to know how to be themselves here. What a trip. Oh, and if you can figure out which ones are heterosexual or not before approaching them it will save you from rejection. That goes for if you are heterosexual or gay.

Someone on this forum suggested just going up to someone and ask if they want to smoke pot with you. Perhaps they are kidding but it seems many people here in SF meet that way. Pot buddies I call them. There are so many pot smokers here it is crazy. Just walk down the street and you will smell pot. Crazy. I don't smoke put so I am screwed. SF is very clickish so it helps if you fit in, talk and look like them. Say "hella" or "the city", smoke pot, join the VIP at the local club, buy some hippy clothes or clothes from the 80's, etc. Then you will have a better chance. Good luck. I have given up.

Oh, I have dated people from all over the world, this place is at the very bottom for dating in my book, unless you consider those oppressive countries where you can't even look at anyone of the opposite sex without getting your hand cut off or something.

As for meeting on the internet, I would not trust it. There are a lot of crazy jokers on there.

Oh, if you do want to increase your chances of meeting someone in regular places like the grocery store or work plan ahead. Shop at Safeway, not those organic places, if you are not hippy they won't talk to you much. And at your job, make sure the male/female ratio is in you favor, I work in a place where there are all men! All engineers too (like myself).

Also, a lot of people here are opinionated and quite proud to let you know about it. If you are interested in someone just let them talk and agree with them or they may get pissed at you and reject you.

Finally, read up on the local schools, like Cal Berkeley, Stanford etc. If you meet someone who has attended on of these schools be sure to pad their ego by telling them that they attended one of the best schools in America and they must be so smart. That will get them hooked.

[tkindred]

Originally Posted by tkindred

I've been here for almost 2 years on and off and haven't met that many people. Mostly Asians, not second generation, the ones born overseas and visiting here. Had one girlfriend, Chinese. Dated Koran now Japanese. Oh, and the Hispanics are cool too, more down to Earth, not full of themselves like a lot of people here are. Most of the blacks try to act like they are from the ghetto, rostafarian or they are homeless and many of the whites act like they are so "liberal" and "all knowing" or hippy. No one seems to know how to be themselves here. What a trip. Oh, and if you can figure out which ones are heterosexual or not before approaching them it will save you from rejection. That goes for if you are heterosexual or gay.

Someone on this forum suggested just going up to someone and ask if they want to smoke pot with you. Perhaps they are kidding but it seems many people here in SF meet that way. Pot buddies I call them. There are so many pot smokers here it is crazy. Just walk down the street and you will smell pot. Crazy. I don't smoke put so I am screwed. SF is very clickish so it helps if you fit in, talk and look like them. Say "hella" or "the city", smoke pot, join the VIP at the local club, buy some hippy clothes or clothes from the 80's, etc. Then you will have a better chance. Good luck. I have given up.

Oh, I have dated people from all over the world, this place is at the very bottom for dating in my book, unless you consider those oppressive countries where you can't even look at anyone of the opposite sex without getting your hand cut off or something.

As for meeting on the internet, I would not trust it. There are a lot of crazy jokers on there.

Oh, if you do want to increase your chances of meeting someone in regular places like the grocery store or work plan ahead. Shop at Safeway, not those organic places, if you are not hippy they won't talk to you much. And at your job, make sure the male/female ratio is in you favor, I work in a place where there are all men! All engineers too (like myself).

Also, a lot of people here are opinionated and quite proud to let you know about it. If you are interested in someone just let them talk and agree with them or they may get pissed at you and reject you.

Finally, read up on the local schools, like Cal Berkeley, Stanford etc. If you meet someone who has attended on of these schools be sure to pad their ego by telling them that they attended one of the best schools in America and they must be so smart. That will get them hooked.

Oh, I forget, going out with this nice young lady from Seattle. We get along very well. She moved here a couple of years ago. She said she thought something was wrong with her because she couldn't meet anyone here in SF. And she is very beautiful. You would think it would be easy for her. I was thinking to myself, what is wrong with the guys here? Ok, and she isn't Asian, she is white. I mention race, because lets be honest, it makes a difference sometimes here in the good ol USA.

Now that I think of it the Korean girl I was dating said the same thing. She could not meet anyone , and she is very beautiful too. Don't understand it.

Perhaps there is some secret code language you must know. Who knows. You guys are meeting all these people how do you do it? Were you born here or grew up here in SF and just built a social network overtime? It seems challenging for someone coming in from the outside.

[sav858]

Originally Posted by tkindred

Someone on this forum suggested just going up to someone and ask if they want to smoke pot with you. Perhaps they are kidding but it seems many people here in SF meet that way. .

haha, i was kidding in a way but being serious too. I dunno, don't really listen to me b/c I grew up in the Bay Area so it's my home and I got my all my old homies there. All of my friends that had moved to the city have moved back to the east bay within a year or two after living in the city and none of them seem to have any new friends that we didn't know from before or they were college buddies from somewhere else like Chico State. But other transplants seem to find a way, but the city isn't exactly known for nice, outgoing people. Try the East Bay, I think the people are a little friendlier, more down to earth, and less pretentious.

don't knock it before you try it though. the bay has a special vibe about it some people get, some don't. It's all good though, there are so many cool, chill people there. Give it time and give it some effort. I've met people that have moved here from elsewhere from other parts of the country and made it there home for the rest of their lives.