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why would you make a statement like that??? My only point, most kids are not going to even apply at these schools, most kids will end up somewhere is the University sytem or state school system..I have always said, demending on your major, most any college will be quite acceptable. I guess you haven't been reading this board much...
Two of my daughters best friends went to Stanford (I might mention the graduated from Eureka High school, certainly not a top teir school) and by husbands two best friends went to Stanford...Our son's best friend went to MIT, again did not graduate from a top ranked school, but it was a very good one. (In VA)
We are not talking about getting kids out of a crappy school district(again read what I have written) we are talking about parents that put themselves into debt just to get their kids into the best school districts available and do this as a static symbol. We have friends who did just that and it backfired badly for them. Two couples we were and are still good friends with choose to move into neighborhoods simply for the schools (neither case was it a status thing as much as wanting what they thought was best for the kids) well, one couple ended up with kids that could not even keep up with the others, socially, financually or academically. The other couples daughter rebelled, mainly because she felt she didn't have all the advantages the other girls did..Mommy and daddy couldn't afford to buy her a new car for her 16th birthday, mommy did her own housework, didn't have hired help, they couldn't go on luxury vacations every year.
I think we all want what is best for our kids, but quite often we misjudge what that is...again, I am not talking about taking a kid out of a ghetto school and finding a little better situation, I am talking about thinking the school district is the most important thing in the world. It is not...At least in my view and that is all we have to judge this on, our opinions..Your opinion is no more right than mine and mine no more right than yours..
Why do you think it is so important for your child to get into Yale or Penn State or Stanford??
Nita
I think you're making an awful lot of assumptions about people that happen to live in "good" school districts..
I personally did not spend a fortune to live here..In fact we were former San Franciscan's that couldn't ever afford to purchase a house in the City (not so good school district,btw) and had to move far away to even afford to own a home. We moved a lot (even lived abroad) just so we could land in a nice part of the Bay Area with a good school district.
It's not important at all for my kids to attend University only because of the name..You're making ridiculous assumptions here. I just want my kids to have a chance to learn in an environment that is positive and gives them the best chance in life to succeed.
Parents want safety and teachers that like to teach. In fact my child with special needs will have a better chance in life because she has a community and school that cares about education and the school is supported/supplemented with classes, specialists, programs etc. that other districts might be cutting back on during these hard times.
You missed the point, it helps your child grow. Good Luck in the race.
Sure, travel is great..in fact my kids went to Irish speaking schools and we traveled to many countries in Europe BUT..you really don't get to learn squat unless you are actually living in a place for more than a few months. Sorry, but I have kids that didn't really learn anything by camping in Brittany for a couple of weeks..it was purely a fun adventure. It's the school/and at home where most of their learning and skills will come from.
Oh my.... what a morally superior post. Rest assured there are plenty of us who are living well within our means and fortunately are able to afford expensive areas that have top schools. We are not sacrificing everything! I don't think anyone on this thread said that their children MUST attend Stanford or an Ivy League school. Rather, I think many of us want to give our children any opportunity we can provide for them, and one of those opportunities is a top-quality education. Does this make me arrogant? I certainly do not think so. I am simply doing what I feel is best for my kids and fortunately I have the means to do it. But obviously there are many other things that fall under the umbrella of "doing what's best for kids." But to imply that those of us who pay a lot of money to live in top school districts are being foolish, irresponsible, and are sending immoral messages to our children is absurd.
And Nita.... yes, I am well aware that money and success do not buy happiness. Thank you for bringing that to my attention That said, money is what can give people the ability to make CHOICES in life and it's those CHOICES that bring happiness, not the money itself. All I could ever want for my 3 kids is for them to have a CHOICE about what to do in life. And while I'd love to converse philosophically here and say that money doesn't matter, the REALITY of our world is it costs money to live decently and obtaining a job usually requires at least some education. I am not here to say it SHOULD be this way. I am here to say it IS this way.
I could care less if my kids go to a top university. What matters to me is that they are surrounded by intelligent and motivated minds, that they develop a strong & focused work ethic, and that they come to learn that anything is possible in life if they try hard and never give up. I want them to see what excellence looks like and I'd love for them to strive for that (even if they don't attain it). I also want my kids to understand that a quality education is the ticket to many wonderful things in life and that the world can be your oyster if you prepare yourself properly to compete in today's society. If all of these hopes and dreams for my kids make me an ill-fit parent, so be it.
did I say that no one should live in the best school districts? I think I said, those who are sacrificing everything may not be helping thier kids and added most kids will do just fine in a normal, college..I gave the "Yale" thing as an example as we all know, if you are living in say a 7/10 district and your child has good grades and good SAT scores they will get into most schools. To anyone and everyone who can afford the best and are not sacraficing everything more power to them..
Yes, we all know it takes money to live but I draw the line when I hear a quality education is a ticket to wonderful things in life. I good education is important, however, many are happy without even graduating from college.. A college education, even from a top ranked college does not guarantee finanual success or happiness, this is my point. No one ever said wanting the best would make you an un-fit parent, I did say, some sacrafices can backfire. If you are not in this situation then, this does not apply to you.
We had a son that was headed for a professional sports career, we encouraged him every step of the way, he only made it so far and got injured..Were we wrong to push him to succeed? I don't think so, but we also helped prepare him for what could happen...
I do not know what I am saying that is making you so defensive, I am only trying to explain there is more than one way to look at this.
I think you're making an awful lot of assumptions about people that happen to live in "good" school districts..
I personally did not spend a fortune to live here..In fact we were former San Franciscan's that couldn't ever afford to purchase a house in the City (not so good school district,btw) and had to move far away to even afford to own a home. We moved a lot (even lived abroad) just so we could land in a nice part of the Bay Area with a good school district.
It's not important at all for my kids to attend University only because of the name..You're making ridiculous assumptions here. I just want my kids to have a chance to learn in an environment that is positive and gives them the best chance in life to succeed.
Parents want safety and teachers that like to teach. In fact my child with special needs will have a better chance in life because she has a community and school that cares about education and the school is supported/supplemented with classes, specialists, programs etc. that other districts might be cutting back on during these hard times.
again, I will repeat, I am not talking about good school districts, have you read the entire thread? The discussion is about parents moving to million $$ and up communities just to have their kids in the top rated schools..The subject originally was about kids going to the top universities and they could not get accepted without going to a top rated high school..
Our kids were lucky enough to be in very good school districts. So were our granddaughters, but I am not going to claim they were in the best schools in
the area or state, nor would I claim they would not have had a good life if they had been in average districts...Of course parents want safety and want teachers that want to teach. This may not always be the same by the way. Many teachers in inter city schools do want to teach, but that doesn't mean the schools are safe..
This discussion is not about good versus bad school districts but about putting too much ephasis on kids being in the VERY top districts..That is how this started..Of course I would think every parent wants their child in a good district if they can afford it..
Let's be clear.... this is a HUGE different between PUSHING your child towards excellence and PLACING our child in an environment that is based on excellence. Pushing isn't good and done to the extreme can lead to problems.
Pushing your child to succeed in one particular area (ie: baseball, football, playing the piano, theatre, etc.) is probably not a good thing either. Why? Because you are putting all of your eggs in one basket. If you use one of these activities as a learning tool to teach dedication, work ethic, teamwork, confidence, etc. then I think "pushing" your child in a certain area is very valuable (and by pushing i mean encouraging).
Putting them in a good school and wanting them to try their best & learn from those around them gives them an EDUCATION which is broad and general and won't limit them in life. Education gives one choices. My son is an amazingly talented swimmer. He wants to start swimming year-round. We're considering having him do this. But guess what? If his grades drop, the swimming drops. Why? Because his knee or shoulder could go out and then what? No swimming! But an education? I've never heard of a brain going out An education will always be of use to him.
I do not believe money, success, a degree from Stanford, etc. lead to true happiness. But education and money affords us the opportunity to have CHOICES and OPTIONS. And it is these CHOICES and OPTIONS that bring us happiness.
Absolutely there are folks out there who are working 9-5 doing something they love, they didn't graduate from college, and they live in an area that they can afford that brings them peace. Fabulous. But here's the thing-- perhaps the things/places in life that make you happy require a nice paying job. How are you going to get that job in a competitive market/economy such as this without a solid education and experiences that make you valuable to an employer?
So to bring it back on topic.... I stand by my belief that putting my child into the best educational environment I can afford is helping them acquire the tools necessary to succeed in life-- whether that is attending medical school or becoming a garbage man. Happiness is about choice and education affords us a chance to make choices.
I guess you haven't been reading this board much...
. . .
Why do you think it is so important for your child to get into Yale or Penn State or Stanford??
Nita
I guess you missed that first post of mine here on this thread where I indicated that I had no kids.
And while we are on this subject about how kids might benefit from enrolling in good schools, I know that picking on spelling and such on online forums is sometimes thought in bad taste, but maybe if you had gone to a better school you would have a bit better grip on spelling, punctuation, etc. It is kind of funny reading your posts denigrating parents who make a bit of a sacrifice so that their kids get into better schools, when your posts are full of these errors.
I guess you missed that first post of mine here on this thread where I indicated that I had no kids.
And while we are on this subject about how kids might benefit from enrolling in good schools, I know that picking on spelling and such on online forums is sometimes thought in bad taste, but maybe if you had gone to a better school you would have a bit better grip on spelling, punctuation, etc. It is kind of funny reading your posts denigrating parents who make a bit of a sacrifice so that their kids get into better schools, when your posts are full of these errors.
I guess you missed that first post of mine here on this thread where I indicated that I had no kids.
And while we are on this subject about how kids might benefit from enrolling in good schools, I know that picking on spelling and such on online forums is sometimes thought in bad taste, but maybe if you had gone to a better school you would have a bit better grip on spelling, punctuation, etc. It is kind of funny reading your posts denigrating parents who make a bit of a sacrifice so that their kids get into better schools, when your posts are full of these errors.
That is a downright insult: I went to the best schools in SO Calif but unlike schools today, learning disabilites could not be identified. Through hard work, a father that would not give up and luck I managed to graduate from college even though I was and still am dyslexic..!!!!! and yes, posts like you just made usually do get pulled. I would imagine you have now succeeded in getting this entire subject closed...
If it does not get closed, I think you owe me a apology....
and by the way, if your attempt was to get me off the California board altogether, you have been successful. I will continue to lurk, but will, most likely never post again..
At least you didn't comment on it, I give you credit: thank you..
I am signing off the Ca boards now. THis is too bad, but I do not take personal, classless insults too well. By the way, this is not directed to you. We obviously do not agree, but you have not directly insulted me either.
If I had known about your dyslexia it would have been an insensitive insult. Not knowing that, it was a valid comment based on what is here in front of us on the forum. That can be a downside of purely text-based communications. My apologies for the comments.
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That said, money is what can give people the ability to make CHOICES in life and it's those CHOICES that bring happiness, not the money itself. All I could ever want for my 3 kids is for them to have a CHOICE about what to do in life. And while I'd love to converse philosophically here and say that money doesn't matter, the REALITY of our world is it costs money to live decently and obtaining a job usually requires at least some education. I am not here to say it SHOULD be this way. I am here to say it IS this way.
