Need to know if SF is like NYC (San Diego, San Francisco: appointed, apartment)

[mini_cute]

When I visited SF back in 2002 I fell in love with it. I was convinced that SF was the perfect city for me. I felt that the city embraced art and culture much more than LA, which is where I grew up. I also felt the city had a more calm feeling than LA which I liked. And it was very beautiful and magnificent- I loved the expansive bay, all those bridges over water and the architecture. I wanted to move there after I finished college.

Fast forward 6 years and I am living in Spanish Harlem in Manhattan, NYC. I wanted to move to SF all those years but never got the opportunity and instead ended up in NYC to be with my fiance who was transferred there for work. I never entertained the thought of wanting to move to NYC even though I vacationed there once before, I moved there mainly to be with him. However, when I got there I was excited at first because it was a new adventure. Anyway, within 2 months I came to HATE NYC. One year later I still hated NYC and even more over time and with solid reasons. NYC was making me literally sick- I came down with a cold or flu every 2 months throughout the 15 months we lived there. I always made sure to wash my hands when I got in the apt. or before eating, but I guess my body just couldn't take being introduced to all those new and foreign germs. I also had trouble sleeping in our apartment since it was noisy outside and got on average 5 hours of sleep a night. I did not like the food and the only food I thought was good was junk food like pizza and hot dogs which I cannot eat very often. I also hated being cat-called by men standing on the corner. The sidewalks had dog poop and I always had to keep an eye on the ground and walk like I am dodging land mines. I got sick and tired of the pace of things, the noise pollution, the construction with jack hammers and car horns honking. I hated when the subway would flood yet again. You think they would have solved that problem by now considering NYC regularly gets lots of precipitation. I even got sick of the damn bars on every corner in certain parts of town. And as we all know, the housing affordability is atrocious! For $2,100 a month we had a 1 bedroom which had 750 sq. foot of space in a not very desirable (though starting to gentrify) part of town.

I want to note that there were some things I liked about NYC, the culture, the world-class everything, Broadway, the fashion, the genuine people (even though they come off as rude at first).

Finally in 2007, we couldn't take it anymore and neither could our wallets so we decided to move back to California. My fiance ended up finding a job in San Diego instead of SF. So now we are here in San Diego, but I am not liking it that much and we don't see ourselves staying here. I think it lacks art and culture, is too slow, too small of a metro area, and not a huge job market. Although we do like the weather, how there is hardly any traffic, clean and close to relatives in LA. We are now considering trying to move to SF again in a couple of years. But now I have fears... the last time I visited SF in the summer of 2008 it didn't feel the same to me anymore. It seemed different. It seemed more run down and fast-paced. Maybe I was jaded of the whole big city thing from NYC and wasn't so impressed by the tall buildings and skyline. And San Diego has probably raised my standards for cleanliness. Well...

The reason why I am writing all this is because I want to know if SF is like NYC. Although I have visited SF, I don't know how it is like to actually live there. I don't want to deal with another NYC situation, so can anyone tell me if the negatives of NYC are strongly present SF as well? Anyone who has lived in both? How alike or different are they? And has SF changed since 2002?

Thanks so much for reading all this and your answers!

[skywalker400]

Well 2002 was just after the dot-com bubble and the city was calming down after the late 90s boom, with the new development lately its feeling a bit more crowded again. I wouldnt say its any more run-down than then though, parts have improved actually imo. I say give SF a try, you only got one chance at life, there are plenty of quieter neighborhoods too if you want to avoid NYC lite.

[uptown_urbanist]

I haven't lived in NYC, only visited, but some of the things you don't like about SF are true in many neighborhoods in SF, too. I think your best bet is to come up for a visit and spend some time visiting different neighborhoods, as they vary greatly. Some are more NY-like than others.

[Jonotastic]

I say YES it is!

[redwoodlvr]

Hey there Mini-cute I would say be careful about idolizing san francisco based on a visit in 2002. I did this too for a few years, traveled around, lived in some very amazing places and did not have such a great time in some of them. I soon discovered it wasn't the place, but it was me that was full of discontent. When I tell friends I did not particularly like living in Rome, Florence, Paris, Barcelona, Tokyo, Philadelphia, Chicago, Sacramento (except Sac lol) they look at me like I have two heads. Truth be known life was a bit crappy and difficult at that time in my life and it wouldn't have mattered where I lived at the time. I see myself in your words and that's why I bring this up. But really if you feel in your heart SF might be the place for you come and check it out. If you know people here, I would say maybe stay for a month or two first before taking the plunge. Get to know the vibe and if it's a fit for you. Understand there is no perfect city and SF, while I still have a place for it in my heart, you will probably find fault with some of it's offerings. Make sure you are content within your soul before you move is my only piece of advice really. It's really not unlike when you first meet someone and are infatuated with them before really getting to know them. Your statement about falling in love with San Francisco conjures up this analogy. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. Good luck.

[redwoodlvr]

And I forgot...no, IMO San Francisco is not like New York. I was born in the northeast and have folks in Manhattan and Brooklyn. NYC is NYC and SF is SF. Two very different cities.

[mini_cute]

Thank you guys so much for your responses so far. Sounds like some people think it is like NYC and some think it isn't. I think the idea of looking at different neighborhoods is a good one. It makes sense that some are probably more like NYC, others less so. Living in a quiet neighborhood would help a lot. I remember I really liked West Village in Manhattan (charming, quiet, central location and relatively clean) but that was way beyond our price range. Hopefully we can afford the neighborhoods in SF that we do like. SF is more affordable than NYC overall, right?

[eightiesfan]

They really are 2 completely different places, the only reason they get compared so much is the density factor, SF really is the closest thing to a "city" on the west coast.

SF is tiny compared to NYC and the choices reflect that; from housing to shopping to museums etc. I happen to really like them both after living in both but I don't have the same feeling about NY that you do, I love the place and it will always be home to me. One thing I will say about SF is that it's much easier to escape the "concrete" if you need some fresh air.

I would not necessarily say that SF is much less expensive than NYC either. Both cities are getting overly gentrified and losing the character they are famous for. Too many yuppies are ruining them both.

[memorytheatre]

SF is on par with NYC as far as price goes. Many, many fewer jobs in SF. SF is really mainly a city suburb of Silicon Valley as far as the bulk of jobs is concerned. Also, if you live somewhere in the city and are hoping to rely on public transportation and that transportation happens to be MUNI. With the way you seem to become disappointed in things pretty rapidly, you will loathe this town. MUNI is essentially the third circle of hell. However, if you are either rich, a top-notch programmer or have a way to inherit a beautiful apartment or house in the city, it might live up to your expectations, but I doubt it. It is a beautiful city though.

[PeixeGato]

Wow, there are a lot of really depressing people on the boards today.

To the OP, if you want to leave NYC, then do it. Don't spend time trying to find the "perfect" place or the place that will become your utopia. If you do, you simply set yourself up for disappointment. All places have their pluses and minuses. They key is to find a city for which the pluses as you define them outweigh the minuses as you define them.

Sure, you can talk to people and find out things like the weather, expenses, number of coffee shops in a particular neighborhood, etc. But you will never be able to gauge whether or not you'll be happy until you spend time here.

For what its worth, if you were able to take a leap of faith and move to NYC, then doing the same for a move to SF will be relatively easy on you. Assuming you have the means, I say go for it. The worst that happens is you HATE it and decide to move someplace else. Then, once you do, life will go on again.

I moved to the Bay Area with my wife 5 years ago from Jersey City after visiting several times on vacation and love it here. When we visited, we'd stay in small inns located in residential neighborhoods so we could get a better feel for the City and not feel so much like "tourists".

Looking forward, the only things making me/us wonder if we will be here forever is the high cost of living (still coming to terms with the idea of being a permanent renter after owning my own residence on the East Coast) and the condition of the State budget (particularly how it impacts the quality of the public schools since we now have a 3 year old). But that's no different than you are facing in NYC (or anyone in any major city for that matter).

Best of luck to you!