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Old 01-11-2014, 02:53 AM
401 posts, read 481,072 times
Reputation: 244


I am divorce for like 4 years. When I got divorced my ex-wife wanted to have the custody of the two kids. I don't want to fight with her, so I agreed. We had a house in San Jose. If we sell the house, she can't afford buying another house. So I discussed with her, and we agreed that I let she and the kids live in the house and will pay half the mortgage until the kids go to college, and then we sell the house and split the money. The house worth about 1M and we have about 400K mortgage, so I pay about $600 mortgage and half the property tax. I have two kids and legally, my share of child support is about $1k per month. My ex-wife has job so I don't need to pay her support. I think this is a fair deal and I think I am paying more than my share for the sake of the kids. Recently she told me I owe her child support, and the mortgage I paid can't be used for child support. I haven't consulted any lawyer however I am pretty sure what she said doesn't make any sense. Am I missing anything here? Any suggestions?
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Old 01-11-2014, 03:08 AM
Location: California
32,434 posts, read 35,820,525 times
Reputation: 28330
Consult a lawyer and refer to your divorce settlement agreement, the one in writing not just "what we talked about".
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Old 01-12-2014, 12:16 PM
Location: California
4,981 posts, read 5,993,493 times
Reputation: 10729
Your children need shoes and food on a regular basis, so they do require on going support. I would suggest that you change the designation of the funds from mortgage to child support and pay only through the Clerk of Court. Have a court order that reads that it is child support. If she uses it for the mortgage then it is her choice. The agreement with your wife to sell the house and split the earned equity is separate from child support but should also be in writing through a court order. Side deals made after the fact do not alter the orginal court order.

You are responsible for supporting your children regardless of your wife's income.
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Old 01-13-2014, 04:03 PM
Location: SF Bay Area
13,527 posts, read 18,819,006 times
Reputation: 20155
Suggestion? Read your settlement agreement and do what it says.
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Old 01-13-2014, 09:17 PM
Location: Planet Earth
1,964 posts, read 2,447,877 times
Reputation: 2401
Suggestion? Don't rely on what random people on the Internet tell you - talk to a lawyer. (Even though these suggestions sound reasonable - the law is often not reasonable.) Hopefully the "settlement agreement" didn't say you agreed to split the mortgage, unless it also said "in lieu of child support".
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Old 01-15-2014, 11:04 PM
Location: Silicon Valley
18,680 posts, read 26,186,993 times
Reputation: 37561
Get a lawyer. Your ex-wife is being greedy, so it's time to get legal. I think it's ridiculous for her to expect you to pay half a mortgage, while not living there, PLUS $1,000 child support.

And I am a woman whose ex rarely paid his child support. I'm not a random angry male here, who thinks men shouldn't have to pay child support or whatever. And it is obvious you are helping to support your kids. I think your question is a very fair one.

So, it's time to get a lawyer. Tell her you're happy to pay child support, but if she expects 1/2 the mortgage to be paid for by you, on top of the child support, that you consider that alimony - and you don't owe her alimony.

But see what the lawyer says and get things in writing. Then do what the lawyers work out, and/or the judge says to do - and then you'll always be able to look your kids in the eye and tell them you always paid your child support. I think this is really important for kids who hear from others (thinking your ex maybe?) that their dad isn't helping to support them. Makes them feel unloved.

So, pay what you're supposed to pay - according to a lawyer or a judge, not your ex.

Divorce sucks. Sorry you are dealing with this.
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