Tech Salary Negotiation when relocating to SV (daycare, home)

[turlough]

I'm mid 30's with stay at home spouse and 2 kids, (baby and a 4yr old). So it's probably now or never. Salary has sort of capped out for my area, so a significant increase is going to involve a long commute (up to 2hrs) to a major urban area.

I figure why not have an adventure for a few years, if its great, we stay, if it sucks we can go, perhaps being able to transfer to more affordable Seattle or Austin with the same company or with another one now that i would have some more "prestigious" names on my linkedin.

[aramax666]

So the older kid will go to school next year, u should be able to make do with a 2 br.
Ur spouse will need to cook at home a lot. In all its worth the adventure, it may pay off.

Just remember frugality is ur friend. Who is he employer, btw?

[Chuck5000]

Originally Posted by turlough

For anyone else with similar questions, I have finally found a COL comparison calculator that corroborates the figures that people are suggesting, for me at least most calculators say that my 70k would translate to about 120k in SV, however the estimate is more in line with $150k.

All calculators are wrong with respect to the Bay Area, not sure why, but I think calculators do not count access to good public schools and commutes.

If you're making 70k and living middle class anywhere in the USA other than top markets like NYC or West LA or prime DC, Boston, etc....then you will need about 200k to match that level of house (renting here) with a reasonable commute to Silicon Valley.

No way on earth that 120k will buy you what you have in the midwest for 70k.

Somebody needs to invent a real Bay Area calculator - if people are making decisions like this based on these bad ones, that's kind of tragic. The OP was smart to come here.

[Nell Plotts]

Here is how immigrants from Asia manage it: bunk the kids 2 to a room, find an apartment close to a park suitable for young children, focus on quality schools for the kids.

Talk to your wife to see if she is game for a 3-year stint of 'camping out' and at that point the two of you decide to stay or go. After 3 years either you will be earning enough to make a comfortable living in SV or you have a very attractive resume that will get you a great job in tech elsewhere.

You really need your wife's buy-in to the move.

[jbunniii]

If the employer has a decent stock plan, i.e., restricted stock which vests (and can be sold) quarterly starting the day you are hired, not some piddly start-up's worthless stock options, that can easily increase your total compensation by $50k-100k per year. Add this to a reasonable salary ($120k is not reasonable, aim for more like $150k) and you can live modestly well in Silicon Valley. Same salary without a stock plan would be very tight. You are looking for a scenario where your total compensation will be at least $200k/year. Otherwise you are better off living almost anywhere else, in my opinion.

[NewbieHere]

You can get a 2br with that salary. Just don't expect to buy yet. But once you are here you have more leverage.

[MediocreButArrogant]

It's not worth the high COL to live here unless you have high income potential. To put your offer in perspective, $120k is what we pay kids two years out of school with a BSCS.

[turlough]

So perhaps the best approach is not to negotiate base on the role, but based on the candidate ?

The roles I am considering don't specify a set number of years experience or education level, but give a broad overview of what the position involves.

Something more like: I have 10+yrs experience a BSc. and an MSc. current salary is irrelevant given that SV is basically its own ecosystem, so in this area I am worth....$175k ?

Does that sound like a reasonable approach and number? Then the question is, do they just say no thanks as the budget (do the still have budgets and ranges in that world?) for the role maxed out at $130k and they felt there was no point continuing or is that just how its played and you back and forth till you eventually cave or walk away ?

Also, is there anyone out there with a similar background in the area who would care to comment on realistic salary expectations at the big tech's (Google, Facebook, Apple, etc.)

[aramax666]

all jobs will have internal scales and ranges. But negotiations are a function of how much they NEED you at that point in time.

You can say, that <some number> is really what I NEED to make this a good offer for me. But what really works, is a competing offer. Or can you walk away from it? i.e. "Thanks, but for that number, its not going to work for my family, you will have to do better."

In the end, you are in a best position to negotiate if you really don't need the job. I am not sure if thats the case with you.

[turlough]

No, its not a need, just seems like a good way to progress my career and do something different, I have also always wanted to work at in SV. But ultimately i'm not going to put my family at risk if its not viable.

I am certainly not expecting to be able to buy a house, and I am ok with the 1-2 hr commute each way. It does seem like maybe a 5 year stint could get me to a place financially that could take 20 years out here. At which point we could reassess.