how old is to old to drive (live, cost)

[seain dublin]

Originally Posted by Avalon08

Also, she cannot "move North" because she has a medical condition in which she can't tolerate cold weather. I cannot move to FL, for many reasons, nor can many people just uproot and move in with the elderly parent. And assisted-living is extremely expensive. It is a very difficult and complicated and stressful situation, for many of us dealing with parents who moved to FL for retirement.

Sorry but the cold weather sounds like an excuse. An 88yr old could stay inside during the winter months, and bundle up if they need to go to the doctor. If they were living with family who does the shopping in a heated house, the cold weather isn't impacting them.

You're in the Philly area? It is already in the 60s and will be in the 70s later in the week. You don't see too many 88 yr olds out and about here during the hotter months either as the heat is harder on them.

Yes Assisted Living runs between $2,500 and $3,000 a month, but if the house is sold that the senior is living in that provides plenty of money to cover the expenses and then some.

I agree it is a problem, people retire to FL in their 60s and nobody thinks about what happens when I'm in my 80s.

But it needs to be addressed, and by the families.

Not the state of Florida.

[Jabronie]

EVERYONE should take a ride along test every 5 years. EVERYONE should have to pass the test in the car they drive. You go buy some giant vehicle, you best know how to maneuver it.

/solved

[Avalon08]

Sorry but the cold weather sounds like an excuse. An 88yr old could stay inside during the winter months, and bundle up if they need to go to the doctor. If they were living with family who does the shopping in a heated house, the cold weather isn't impacting them.

OK, Mr. Sympathy. Ever heard of Raynaud's disease? I didn't think so. Ever have a toe amputated due to circulatory problems that are aggravated by cold weather? I didn't think so. The heat is harder on them than the cold? Oh, please....then why do they move to warm climates?! So an 88-year-old is supposed to stay in the house for 4 or 5 months, only emerging all bundled-up for doctor's appointments? That's a fun life. Or, they could stay in FL with the proceeds from the $12K car and their homes that are certainly worth plenty in this market and would support them for years to come, especially since they're in these wonderful bargain-basement ALFs that only cost $3K/mo. tops. Or, they could just die...that would ensure they wouldn't bother people like yourself.

[seain dublin]

Originally Posted by Avalon08

OK, Mr. Sympathy. Ever heard of Raynaud's disease? I didn't think so. Ever have a toe amputated due to circulatory problems that are aggravated by cold weather? I didn't think so. The heat is harder on them than the cold? Oh, please....then why do they move to warm climates?! So an 88-year-old is supposed to stay in the house for 4 or 5 months, only emerging all bundled-up for doctor's appointments? That's a fun life. Or, they could stay in FL with the proceeds from the $12K car and their homes that are certainly worth plenty in this market and would support them for years to come, especially since they're in these wonderful bargain-basement ALFs that only cost $3K/mo. tops. Or, they could just die...that would ensure they wouldn't bother people like yourself.

You're the one who brought up you have an 88yr old mother who lives alone in FL who is has having driving issues. You put up several "roadblocks" that I mentioned to address the situation.

You didn't even know that FL didn't test seniors for driving skills. Which indicates you're not even paying attention as to whether or not you mother should still be behind the wheel.

I couldn't sleep at night if I knew a family member was out driving around who shouldn't be.

Putting themselves and others at risk.

YOU said your mother can't move up north(too cold), you can't relocate here, and an AL is too expensive.

So what is your solution?

Wait until you get a long distance phone call from the local Sheriff's Dept. that your mother was in a car accident?

That she is injured or dead, and maybe has caused injury and death to others?

I think the real issue is you don't want to be bothered and the "too cold" is an excuse.

It is not an easy situation, but it is called role reversal. And like any other family problem it needs to be addressed and not ignored.

Some families address the issue, and others don't.

Sounds like you don't.

[Avalon08]

Last time I checked, you were not related to me so I don't need to explain what my "solution" is to the problem of my Mother. I was weighing in on the topic, and explaining some of the problems the families face in dealing long-distance with parents who want to remain independent. You were the one who, as always, jumped in with your judgmental unsolicited opinions that betray your ignorance. Thank goodness everyone recognizes there are some of this forum who are just clueless pot-stirrers.

[gettinoutofjersey]

Originally Posted by seain dublin

You're the one who brought up you have an 88yr old mother who lives alone in FL who is has having driving issues. You put up several "roadblocks" that I mentioned to address the situation.

You didn't even know that FL didn't test seniors for driving skills. Which indicates you're not even paying attention as to whether or not you mother should still be behind the wheel.

I couldn't sleep at night if I knew a family member was out driving around who shouldn't be.

Putting themselves and others at risk.

YOU said your mother can't move up north(too cold), you can't relocate here, and an AL is too expensive.

So what is your solution?

Wait until you get a long distance phone call from the local Sheriff's Dept. that your mother was in a car accident?

That she is injured or dead, and maybe has caused injury and death to others?

I think the real issue is you don't want to be bothered and the "too cold" is an excuse.

It is not an easy situation, but it is called role reversal. And like any other family problem it needs to be addressed and not ignored.

Some families address the issue, and others don't.

Sounds like you don't.

very well said.

when the senior citizen hits someone and the damage is beyond what the insurance (personal injury) will cover the next of kin will be upset that their inheritance is not there and has been awarded to someone in court. at that point its to late.

some people can drive alot longer than others. some people have no business being on the road at any age.

[Old Man Winter]

I work in the senior market and see these situations every day. Parent lives here, kids are elsewhere in the country. There is no easy fix for either side.Because of that fact, I have nothing but sympathy for Avalons situation. Many seniors wont move, they refuse to leave their homes. Families cant uproot themselves to relocate either. I dont know what the answer is, but there are groups in Sarasota that provide services for these cases.

As far as driving, there clearly comes a time when they need to stop, that is the families responsibility.

[justNancy]

Although I agree that age is a factor, I don't think we should use it to discriminate and decide who should or should not operate a car. I know plenty of people over 80 (and a few over 90) with very sharp minds & quick reflexes. OTOH, my Dad never should have been driving a car when he was 92, so it's a very tough call.

Would the people who feel it is necessary to test Florida drivers more often be willing to pay should stricter laws be passed? What about random roadblocks? I don't want any more government interference in my life, but I see people driving erratically all the time. Are they drunk or just bad drivers? I don't know the statistics off the top of my head, but I think a drunk poses more of a threat than an elderly driver.

I'm only 60, but I realize my eyesight has deteriorated in the past few years. In 1994 I drove from NH to FL in a blizzard and now I freak out when it rains very hard and often pull over if there's a safe spot away from traffic. Knowing your limitations is the key to safe driving. I won't even have one glass of wine and get behind a wheel, because I know I'm buzzed, even if I look and act perfectly normal.

I want to add that the driver isn't the only safety hazard. Even a good driver can't stop quickly on bald tires. Cars need to be maintained properly. I realize that many car owners are on a tight budget, but bad tires & worn out brake pads are dangerous. I'm not sure if I'm for state inspections, since the ones in MA were a joke, but there are a lot of unsafe vehicles on the road.

[Old Man Winter]

I have a client who's spouse is older and has dementia. They vacation in Orlando quite often and go to all the big malls over there. This man is so bad that he litterally is tethered to his wife when outside of the house at all times. Long story short, she was clothes shopping in Orlando at that huge mall, went into the changing room and told him stay right here and hold my purse. LMAO state police found him 3 hours later on the highway, he had driven 2 hours north of Orlando and just pulled over because he couldnt remember where he was going

I feel really bad for her, she is a great wife and does so much for him, but even when she uses the rest room there is risk of him bolting. I enjoy her stories and tales of her hubbies adventures. He always gets found safely, and at least once per year he slips her grip and makes a break for the fence.

This just shows that even when they are supervised, things can still happen.

[gettinoutofjersey]

Originally Posted by Old Man Winter

I have a client who's spouse is older and has dementia. They vacation in Orlando quite often and go to all the big malls over there. This man is so bad that he litterally is tethered to his wife when outside of the house at all times. Long story short, she was clothes shopping in Orlando at that huge mall, went into the changing room and told him stay right here and hold my purse. LMAO state police found him 3 hours later on the highway, he had driven 2 hours north of Orlando and just pulled over because he couldnt remember where he was going

I feel really bad for her, she is a great wife and does so much for him, but even when she uses the rest room there is risk of him bolting. I enjoy her stories and tales of her hubbies adventures. He always gets found safely, and at least once per year he slips her grip and makes a break for the fence.

This just shows that even when they are supervised, things can still happen.

gotta give the guy credit for trying. all married guys have those times they want to go. some have more opportunity. sounds like his times are pretty limited.