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My husband and I purchased a beautiful home in Fairfield County, CT a few years back. We absolutely love our house and New England surroundings in general. There is a lot to do here, including lots of short day trips. It's expensive but that's another discussion topic.
Our issue is the people. New Englanders are COLD. Neither of us grew up in NE, so we feel isolated and lonely. We have a young daughter and have hosted many playdates at our house... they are not reciprocated. I've asked about this and have been told multiple times that yes, NE people are really cold and insular and very clique-y in our area as well. Families tend to book their kids solid with after-school activities so there is no time for playdates anyway. There are no moms nights, or other opportunities to make new friendships.
We are conservative leaning and that only makes matters worse as cancel culture is alive and well in this area and we feel like we have to very careful about what we say or do as blackballing happens. I've been looking at meetup groups lately but I really feel like even if I were to go to one, I'd find myself surrounded with people who are aggressively hostile to people who don't think the same way they do.
We've vacationed in Siesta Key and love it in the Sarasota area. I know vacation is not real life, hence my question here.
Are Floridians friendlier? Someone told me that I'm going to find cold, materialistic people in any affluent area we might choose. I've always had the impression that once you got south of Pennsylvania, people are a lot nicer and open.
We're thinking of buying a 2nd home in Sarasota area (rent first, yes) just to give us some relief a few weeks/months of the year from the striving, competitive ambiance here.
Just my opinion but I think your experience is not unusual at all. Our society has become so polarized (not just in the NE) that it is getting downright impossible to get past the cancel culture you mentioned. I readily admit that these are generalities of the greatest magnitude so take all of it with a grain or two of salt but I think you will find that there are more of the people you hope to find here since there are many people from the mid-west and south, of course, where I think people are, generally, friendlier. Having said that, though, we are not exceptional in this regard and we do have some polarization, too.
If you are the least bit religious, joining a church (or synagogue or what have you) will help tremendously. If that's not your style, you'll probably also do well to talk with PTO leaders in schools where you might consider renting to see if they can shed any light on the subject before committing to a rental. Youth sports is big here and parents tend to meet other parents through their kids activities.
My husband and I purchased a beautiful home in Fairfield County, CT a few years back. We absolutely love our house and New England surroundings in general. There is a lot to do here, including lots of short day trips. It's expensive but that's another discussion topic.
Our issue is the people. New Englanders are COLD. Neither of us grew up in NE, so we feel isolated and lonely. We have a young daughter and have hosted many playdates at our house... they are not reciprocated. I've asked about this and have been told multiple times that yes, NE people are really cold and insular and very clique-y in our area as well. Families tend to book their kids solid with after-school activities so there is no time for playdates anyway. There are no moms nights, or other opportunities to make new friendships.
We are conservative leaning and that only makes matters worse as cancel culture is alive and well in this area and we feel like we have to very careful about what we say or do as blackballing happens. I've been looking at meetup groups lately but I really feel like even if I were to go to one, I'd find myself surrounded with people who are aggressively hostile to people who don't think the same way they do.
We've vacationed in Siesta Key and love it in the Sarasota area. I know vacation is not real life, hence my question here.
Are Floridians friendlier? Someone told me that I'm going to find cold, materialistic people in any affluent area we might choose. I've always had the impression that once you got south of Pennsylvania, people are a lot nicer and open.
We're thinking of buying a 2nd home in Sarasota area (rent first, yes) just to give us some relief a few weeks/months of the year from the striving, competitive ambiance here.
Thoughts?
We found the people in Florida VERY friendly, much more so than where we moved from up north! How about getting a second home in the Orlando area. You're daughter would LOVE that! We are not big beach people, there is just so much you can do to at the beach. Orlando really has so much to do, we don't even get to the beach!
Just my opinion but I think your experience is not unusual at all. Our society has become so polarized (not just in the NE) that it is getting downright impossible to get past the cancel culture you mentioned. I readily admit that these are generalities of the greatest magnitude so take all of it with a grain or two of salt but I think you will find that there are more of the people you hope to find here since there are many people from the mid-west and south, of course, where I think people are, generally, friendlier. Having said that, though, we are not exceptional in this regard and we do have some polarization, too.
If you are the least bit religious, joining a church (or synagogue or what have you) will help tremendously. If that's not your style, you'll probably also do well to talk with PTO leaders in schools where you might consider renting to see if they can shed any light on the subject before committing to a rental. Youth sports is big here and parents tend to meet other parents through their kids activities.
Oh, I know it's not unusual. I've had several online conversations about it and even some 'real life' convos as well. Maybe we should try a church in our area. The thing is, the people here are just so cold, I don't think even church changes it that much.
I try not to generalize but after 4 years of living here and having even locals/natives confirm that CT people are unfriendly, I think we are not generalizing but noting a fact.
We found the people in Florida VERY friendly, much more so than where we moved from up north! How about getting a second home in the Orlando area. You're daughter would LOVE that! We are not big beach people, there is just so much you can do to at the beach. Orlando really has so much to do, we don't even get to the beach!
Thanks, we've always lived near the water and want to keep it that way. We're not really Disney people so Orlando doesn't have that much interest for us. We really enjoyed our stay in the Sarasota area though
I'm not sure about the Venice area yet, but I have lived in S FL on the other side. I have the same issue here in GA living in a military town. People are so isolated and will not socialize whatsoever!! I miss our town where I would have to spend at least 1/2 hr extra going to Publix because someone would know you and want to chat. I feel so disconnected here and hope that I can get plugged in if we move.
I think people are very friendly in this area - I like to branch out and have all sorts of friends - one rule I follow is I never discuss politics or religion and live and let live - I have friends who are conservative and liberal friends too -
We used to live in Northern VA - oh my God - people were so cold and mean and unfriendly - they were mostly military and kept to themselves.
My husband and I purchased a beautiful home in Fairfield County, CT a few years back. We absolutely love our house and New England surroundings in general. There is a lot to do here, including lots of short day trips. It's expensive but that's another discussion topic.
Our issue is the people. New Englanders are COLD. Neither of us grew up in NE, so we feel isolated and lonely. We have a young daughter and have hosted many playdates at our house... they are not reciprocated. I've asked about this and have been told multiple times that yes, NE people are really cold and insular and very clique-y in our area as well. Families tend to book their kids solid with after-school activities so there is no time for playdates anyway. There are no moms nights, or other opportunities to make new friendships.
We are conservative leaning and that only makes matters worse as cancel culture is alive and well in this area and we feel like we have to very careful about what we say or do as blackballing happens. I've been looking at meetup groups lately but I really feel like even if I were to go to one, I'd find myself surrounded with people who are aggressively hostile to people who don't think the same way they do.
We've vacationed in Siesta Key and love it in the Sarasota area. I know vacation is not real life, hence my question here.
Are Floridians friendlier? Someone told me that I'm going to find cold, materialistic people in any affluent area we might choose. I've always had the impression that once you got south of Pennsylvania, people are a lot nicer and open.
We're thinking of buying a 2nd home in Sarasota area (rent first, yes) just to give us some relief a few weeks/months of the year from the striving, competitive ambiance here.
Thoughts?
Keep in mind it really depends on WHERE in Florida you are. More people and faster pace on east coast as oppose to west coast. Also Sarasota is overwhelmed with snowbirds during season, and overall feels very transient. We lived there for 27 years so I know it very well. The overall age skews very old there, something I did not enjoy and I am old myself.
We have moved to Lakeland and it is the friendliest place I have ever seen. People are really happy here. Not coastal , but so many beautiful lakes it feels coastal. Community spirit and SUPER family friendly. I love seeing all the young families with their cute happy little kids! This town is known as a "playful city" and I have never seen so many recreational opportunities provided by the city for cheap or free. Kids here have it made, adults too.
I tell you all this because you really want to explore where you would want to live. Siesta/Sarasota is nice of course, but vacation is far from reality. Even though we only lived about 12 miles from there WE NEVER WENT due to extreme crowds, traffic and parking issues.
Are Floridians friendlier? Someone told me that I'm going to find cold, materialistic people in any affluent area we might choose. I've always had the impression that once you got south of Pennsylvania, people are a lot nicer and open.
Are you familiar with the ABC show American Housewife? That's the vibe I was getting from your post and, sure enough, the city of depicted in the show (Westport) is in Fairfield County. So I agree, if you're dealing with people similar to those characters in the show, I don't think joining a church there will help much.
To answer your question, most of the people living here in Florida aren't really "Floridians" by birth to begin with - they are just people that came from somewhere else, too. So you'll still have a lot of those cold, materialistic people anywhere because people move. But this is also true for much friendlier types from elsewhere. It's like a giant melting pot. If you're looking only for "affluent" areas, you're going to have a higher likelihood of a-holes because money doesn't buy human decency. Or even class. It does seem to add a sense of entitlement, though. There's a saying about Florida that the further south you go in the state, the more northern it gets. I think you would probably do okay down here, though, as you'd have exposure to such a wide variety of people from around the country (and the world) as opposed to where you're living now.
Outside of traffic along Die-75 everyone is super nice here. Sarasota is paradise. You'll love it here.
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