Is "Seattle Freeze" tempered by shared commonalities like being a parent? (house, neighborhood) - Washington (WA) -Seattle and King County Suburbs - City-Data Forum

angelenogirl · 07-23-2012, 02:19 PM

I know there are umpteen threads about how hard it is to make friends in Seattle. What about if your kids are new to a school? Are people more warm and welcoming when you share the whole parental thing? I just wonder if there are any surefire ways that people have found to break through.

tatania199 · 07-23-2012, 04:36 PM

I don't get the freeze thing. It hasn't been our experience at all.

I've made a number of casual friends just over the course of our first school year here and I wasn't even able to be super involved in the school this year. I feel pretty safe in saying that those friends could go from casual to close if I made more of an effort! Hey...maybe the freeze isn't coming from Seattleites!

And if I were more involved, as I hope to be this coming year, I think I'd have plenty of opportunities to meet people and make friends.

Oh, and my husband has made friends just through work and I think if you ask, he'd say he works in one of the least friendly environments he could ever have imagined. Despite that, through others outside of his department, he's made friends that he spends time with outside of work.

So, despite hearing all of the hoopla over how unfriendly this city is, we've had exactly the opposite experience. And we're Canadian...we know nice!

angelenogirl · 07-23-2012, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tatania199

I don't get the freeze thing. It hasn't been our experience at all.

I've made a number of casual friends just over the course of our first school year here and I wasn't even able to be super involved in the school this year. I feel pretty safe in saying that those friends could go from casual to close if I made more of an effort! Hey...maybe the freeze isn't coming from Seattleites!

And if I were more involved, as I hope to be this coming year, I think I'd have plenty of opportunities to meet people and make friends.

Oh, and my husband has made friends just through work and I think if you ask, he'd say he works in one of the least friendly environments he could ever have imagined. Despite that, through others outside of his department, he's made friends that he spends time with outside of work.

So, despite hearing all of the hoopla over how unfriendly this city is, we've had exactly the opposite experience. And we're Canadian...we know nice!

OK, this is definitely heartening! Thanks for the insight. You hear so much about it that's it's hard to discount it, you know? I think I'm a friendly person, but I worry about what to expect!

kaday · 07-23-2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelenogirl

OK, this is definitely heartening! Thanks for the insight. You hear so much about it that's it's hard to discount it, you know? I think I'm a friendly person, but I worry about what to expect!

Well I moved here eight weeks ago with my spouse and two elementary aged kids. I was so worried about the "freeze". In my new neighborhood my family has been invited for dinner several times, coffee twice, had a neighbor take us on a driving tour of Seattle, had cookies brought to my front door twice, fresh picked flowers dropped by, kids have had playdates almost daily, and this weekend we were invited to church with some neighbors. I have a child with a disability and after some inquiry was immediately connected with parents who helped me find tutors and resources. I have never felt more welcome anywhere and I have lived all over the country. We joke at our house that the Seattle Freeze is more about the temperature in June here than the social climate. I am also pretty outgoing but I feel like people really reached out to make us feel at home here.

Kayela · 07-23-2012, 06:51 PM

I am not outgoing at ALL. While I do have social skills, and can certainly put on my 'game face' at a party - it's not something that comes naturally and it's draining. Not that I don't like people, I definitely do, but I don't feel energized by being around lots of them.

Having said that - I've never made so many friends in my life. Maybe it's because I am one of those stereotypical introverted Seattlites, but apparently I've found 'my people'. We usually find we are out more nights of the week than we stay in, and if we're in - it's because we're entertaining.

I have met people through work, husband's work, book club I found on Craig's list, classes I took in the evening, a Bunco group I joined through a friend, an on-line community (actually not this one), and through other friends. Honestly - if someone as non-social as me can make gobs of friends here, I'm surprised more people find they can't. However, enough people say it that I don't doubt it's the truth. I'm not sure what the trick was - I suspect it's partically because even though I'm introverted it doesn't mean I'm a shut-in, I'm curious about things and I like getting out and doing things. And when you're out doing your thing, having a good time and being interested in stuff, it tends to be attractive to others. I DON'T like sitting in front of a TV, and no I'm not a TV-snob - I just don't have the patience, and sitting for long periods of time is physically uncomfortable for me. I'm definitely a more active person, and I suspect that helped a lot.

Best wishes making friends. Just don't give up and don't hibernate in the winter. Realize that even though it's gloomy - there's still tons of stuff to do!

Hemlock140 · 07-23-2012, 07:23 PM

Having kids with school events, sports and such definitely results in making a lot of new friends faster, but like the others, I made many others through work and the neighbors and continue to now that the kids are grown and on their own. We remain good friends with many of those we met through the kids 18-20 years ago.

That whole freeze thing is really a myth perpetuated by people that either don't want others to move here, or who are just not sociable.

angelenogirl · 07-23-2012, 08:58 PM

Wow! it's great to hear about all of this...antifreeze. :-)

I am somewhat introverted when I first meet people. Maybe this might be my ideal social landscape!

swerver · 07-23-2012, 09:58 PM

There is no freeze. Some choose to obsess about what they read on the internet, and for them it may become a self fulfilling prophecy. No one in real life ever talks about a freeze, it's an internet-only old wives tale.

texastrigirl · 07-24-2012, 08:24 AM

We had no problems making friends when we moved here. Been here 5 years and still have them too! Our kids were 4 and 7 and we got to know others through sports teams, school, church, the gym, etc. Our neighbors were very welcoming and in general, folks are just normal people. I think kids (and dogs) can help you make that first connection pretty easily.

Freebird2007 · 07-24-2012, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swerver

There is no freeze. Some choose to obsess about what they read on the internet, and for them it may become a self fulfilling prophecy. No one in real life ever talks about a freeze, it's an internet-only old wives tale.

then you must not get out much if you haven't experienced the freeze.