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Old 01-10-2014, 08:32 PM
 
5 posts, read 14,447 times
Reputation: 20

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How's the dating scene for 30 something single women with a good education (BA), conservative (not overly but definitely family oriented), avg look (think Kelly Clarkson type but Asian and well/girly dressed), not religious and although shy but friendly if a guy approaches? I don't have kids right now. I just want a couple when I get married.

I read a tons of stuff and it sounds like Seattle women are stuck up, mostly feminists and ugly? I have a HARD TIME believing it! I've been to WA a couple of times and I think people look about the same with those I see in Boise and SLC. There were more "natural" or "earthy" looking ladies, but they're not ugly at all.

I will date men in their late 20's to probably up to 40 since I am looking for LTR that will lead to marriage. I'm mostly attracted to men with a good education (bachelor's degree or +) and a regular FT office type/white collar job. Not looking for millionaires or model guys. Just a genuine and smart guy who has his life together. BTW, do people meet in coffee shops? I am not big into bars nor outdoors unless I have friends to go with. For someone new in the city, obviously I have no one to go with until I am a bit established.


Happy Friday!

Last edited by joyceid; 01-10-2014 at 09:12 PM..
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Old 01-10-2014, 08:54 PM
 
7,941 posts, read 7,827,975 times
Reputation: 5868
Yeah, there's a lot of ugly women and feminists, so if you're not too over-the-top on either one of those qualities, you're already ahead of the game. Do yourself a favor and stay off the dating sites. They're a cesspool and are bad for men and women in most cases. IRL, you meet people where you're comfortable meeting them, same as anywhere else. Work, school, the gym, mutual acquaintances, bars or coffee shops...
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Old 01-10-2014, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Kirkland, WA (Metro Seattle)
5,781 posts, read 4,944,654 times
Reputation: 11757
Dating sites are "bad for men and women," hmm. Another view:

They aren't all bad, caveat being if and only if an individual is *comfortable* meeting people that way. Success requires game, favoring those who are emotionally prepared, articulate, and presentable. It does not favor bums, zeros, and the desperate, male or female.

OP writes like a lady with a perfectly-understandable agenda, which isn't a bad thing: be that forthright in a well-written ad with interesting photos, there will be good guys who respond. After the jerks are cleared out, of course: RE "emotionally prepared". No different from interviewing for professional positions, in my (extensive) experience: plenty of failures before a memorable success or two. That's just how it is.

OK Cupid in particular is a goldmine. Choose and screen wisely, you'll be fine. Met my current GF that way sometime back, after each of us had ten or more tries with others via the site.

Patience. Game. Instincts. Style. Confidence. And, a understanding of exactly what you want in a partner.
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Old 01-10-2014, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Washington
259 posts, read 494,909 times
Reputation: 490
I'm in your age range (I'm 29), and I'm feminine/girly too, but pretty outgoing and engaging. I smile a lot and men pretty much flock to me quite regularly. My dating life is active here. Most people would consider me above average physically, but I think as long as you show pride in your looks and are at least receptive to men, you shouldn't have much of a problem, even if you consider yourself average.

Yeah, I read online how the women here are standoffish and stuck up, but I've had the complete opposite experience in real life. Take what the people say online with a grain of salt. You'll read the people with negative experiences rant the loudest online. Whereas people who are happy in their dating/love/friendship life are too busy enjoying it than to rave about it constantly on a message board. The women *and* men in Seattle and on the eastside are amazing, outgoing, and sociable people. I'm not just talking about co-workers or friends of friends, but random people I meet every day on my way to/from work. It's actually kinda weird (in a good way, of course) how open and friendly everyone is to me. Took me a few months to realize this is just how they are and it's not the Twilight Zone.

Just keep being you, have a calm, happy demeanor about yourself, be open and I think you'll do just fine.
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Old 01-10-2014, 10:42 PM
 
1,645 posts, read 4,229,354 times
Reputation: 1725
Serial dating is HUGE here. Especially on the female side as there are about 9 single dudes for every single woman here. So, If you are a guy, definitely have thick skin about it and don't take it too seriously. As most single females here have a line the size of a 1988 Soviet Union bread line waiting after a fun night out with you. On the flip side if you are a female this city is a gem as you will have your pick of the litter.
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Old 01-10-2014, 11:20 PM
 
5 posts, read 14,447 times
Reputation: 20
Thank you all so much for the replies! I will give Okcupid a try and I feel much better...haha

Another question...this may sound a bit stupid...but do people tend to date people on the same side of the lake or it really just comes down to personal preferences? I only ask cuz Seattle traffic's reputation.
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Old 01-10-2014, 11:58 PM
 
Location: Nashville
3,533 posts, read 5,184,213 times
Reputation: 4660
Quote:
Originally Posted by joyceid View Post
How's the dating scene for 30 something single women with a good education (BA), conservative (not overly but definitely family oriented), avg look (think Kelly Clarkson type but Asian and well/girly dressed), not religious and although shy but friendly if a guy approaches? I don't have kids right now. I just want a couple when I get married.

I read a tons of stuff and it sounds like Seattle women are stuck up, mostly feminists and ugly? I have a HARD TIME believing it! I've been to WA a couple of times and I think people look about the same with those I see in Boise and SLC. There were more "natural" or "earthy" looking ladies, but they're not ugly at all.

I will date men in their late 20's to probably up to 40 since I am looking for LTR that will lead to marriage. I'm mostly attracted to men with a good education (bachelor's degree or +) and a regular FT office type/white collar job. Not looking for millionaires or model guys. Just a genuine and smart guy who has his life together. BTW, do people meet in coffee shops? I am not big into bars nor outdoors unless I have friends to go with. For someone new in the city, obviously I have no one to go with until I am a bit established.


Happy Friday!
What type of bachelor degree makes a man more attractive to you? Is there certain schools that make him seem more attractive than other schools? If a guy had a bachelor but was making 20k a year and another guy didn't graduate yet was making 60k, would the bachelor degree guy still seem more attractive?

You are 30 something , don't have kids, but want a couple..> Well, not to pressure you, but your time is running out there..

Yeah, Seattle women are cold and stuck up and uber-feminist.. They are not ugly.. THey are very attractive, but most men around the country believe that female attractiveness means flashy attire and globs of makeup. Think Britney Spears or Kim Kardashian. Many Americans are spoon fed pop culture and use that as a gauge of attractiveness. I personally prefer the earthy looks of Seattle women, although sometimes I think they are a bit over-the-top grungy. Like they will go ta a nice restaurant wearing sweat pants and a sweat shirt, looking like they just got out of the gym..

Coffeeshops are horrible places to meet people in Seattle, because they are more like libraries. I use to hold this against Seattle, but now I am starting to understand why Seattle's coffeeshops are the way they are. If you think about the fact that many people in Seattle do not make enough money to live in comfortable accommodation, the coffeeshop makes a nice escape. Many people live in tiny little boxes which they pay a good amount of money or they are stuck in crowded households that are undersized. So, I notice most Seattle coffeeshops end up functioning more as libraries where people do their work and don't want to be disturbed.

If you go to bars, it will be easy to meet men.. But, let me be straight with you and I know you will hate me for saying it. Personally, as a man, and many men will agree withe me, I think your criteria somehow makes you a bit on the superficial side, considering you judge men based on their credentials, jobs, etc. Many men are seeking a woman who is attracted to them just for them and not for the kind of job or degree they hold. Many men are turned off to women in Seattle because of these very type of stereotypes you are emanating in your post.

Yeah, all women say they are not looking for a supermodel or a millionaire, but when they say, oh but , he needs a good degree and a nice white collar job, we generally figure out that we are judged on assets and credentials rather than our personality and virtue. Most men I know hate that. Try finding a human being first, the job, degree, income , etc put on the back burner.
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Old 01-11-2014, 12:09 AM
 
2,319 posts, read 2,828,259 times
Reputation: 2666
Quote:
Originally Posted by RotseCherut View Post
What type of bachelor degree makes a man more attractive to you? Is there certain schools that make him seem more attractive than other schools? If a guy had a bachelor but was making 20k a year and another guy didn't graduate yet was making 60k, would the bachelor degree guy still seem more attractive?

You are 30 something , don't have kids, but want a couple..> Well, not to pressure you, but your time is running out there..

Yeah, Seattle women are cold and stuck up and uber-feminist.. They are not ugly.. THey are very attractive, but most men around the country believe that female attractiveness means flashy attire and globs of makeup. Think Britney Spears or Kim Kardashian. Many Americans are spoon fed pop culture and use that as a gauge of attractiveness. I personally prefer the earthy looks of Seattle women, although sometimes I think they are a bit over-the-top grungy. Like they will go ta a nice restaurant wearing sweat pants and a sweat shirt, looking like they just got out of the gym..

Coffeeshops are horrible places to meet people in Seattle, because they are more like libraries. I use to hold this against Seattle, but now I am starting to understand why Seattle's coffeeshops are the way they are. If you think about the fact that many people in Seattle do not make enough money to live in comfortable accommodation, the coffeeshop makes a nice escape. Many people live in tiny little boxes which they pay a good amount of money or they are stuck in crowded households that are undersized. So, I notice most Seattle coffeeshops end up functioning more as libraries where people do their work and don't want to be disturbed.

If you go to bars, it will be easy to meet men.. But, let me be straight with you and I know you will hate me for saying it. Personally, as a man, and many men will agree withe me, I think your criteria somehow makes you a bit on the superficial side, considering you judge men based on their credentials, jobs, etc. Fo Many men are seeking a woman who is attracted to them just for them and not for the kind of job or degree they hold. Many men are turned off to women in Seattle because of these very type of stereotypes you are emanating in your post.

Yeah, all women say they are not looking for a supermodel or a millionaire, but when they say, oh but , he needs a good degree and a nice white collar job, we generally figure out that we are judged on assets and credentials rather than our personality and virtue. Most men I know hate that. Try finding a human being first, the job, degree, income , etc put on the back burner.
For once, I agree with most everything you have said. But give the OP a break ... most people need to get a little more age and wisdom to recognize what is important in life. I'd like to add to your sweat pants remark -- my father told me years ago that a woman who wears sweat pants has given up on life LOL That has always stuck with me and I've never owned a pair. I did own a sweat shirt for years -- it was from grad school and sometimes I put it on and curled up in it study. I finally had to ditch it a few years ago because the ends of the sleeves were falling apart!
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Old 01-11-2014, 12:16 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
92,392 posts, read 89,908,177 times
Reputation: 100789
Quote:
Originally Posted by joyceid View Post
How's the dating scene for 30 something single women with a good education (BA), conservative (not overly but definitely family oriented), avg look (think Kelly Clarkson type but Asian and well/girly dressed), not religious and although shy but friendly if a guy approaches? I don't have kids right now. I just want a couple when I get married.

I read a tons of stuff and it sounds like Seattle women are stuck up, mostly feminists and ugly? I have a HARD TIME believing it! I've been to WA a couple of times and I think people look about the same with those I see in Boise and SLC. There were more "natural" or "earthy" looking ladies, but they're not ugly at all.

I will date men in their late 20's to probably up to 40 since I am looking for LTR that will lead to marriage. I'm mostly attracted to men with a good education (bachelor's degree or +) and a regular FT office type/white collar job. Not looking for millionaires or model guys. Just a genuine and smart guy who has his life together. BTW, do people meet in coffee shops? I am not big into bars nor outdoors unless I have friends to go with. For someone new in the city, obviously I have no one to go with until I am a bit established.
Women have to be more outgoing in Seattle, because the men aren't so much, except to the north (Everett and other suburbs) and south. But there are plenty of guys with BA's and advanced degrees. Yes, people meet in coffee shops (especially locally-owned ones) and bakery/cafes, plus, the local hiking club, the Mountaineers, is popular, and has singles hikes. Bookstores and bookreadings/signings are popular; see the University of Washington Bookstore and Elliott Bay Books in Pioneer Square. Get their calendar of events. Elliott Bay has a coffee shop/cafeteria in the basement for hanging out and reading, and for meetups.

Downtown/Pioneer Square also has a monthly art gallery open-house designated evening, when the galleries have receptions and open their new shows, and you can go gallery-hopping, enjoy refreshments, and meet people doing the same.

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 01-11-2014 at 01:15 AM..
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Old 01-11-2014, 01:06 AM
 
Location: Seattle, Washington
3,733 posts, read 7,242,324 times
Reputation: 2023
Quote:
Originally Posted by RotseCherut View Post
What type of bachelor degree makes a man more attractive to you? Is there certain schools that make him seem more attractive than other schools? If a guy had a bachelor but was making 20k a year and another guy didn't graduate yet was making 60k, would the bachelor degree guy still seem more attractive?

You are 30 something , don't have kids, but want a couple..> Well, not to pressure you, but your time is running out there..

Yeah, Seattle women are cold and stuck up and uber-feminist.. They are not ugly.. THey are very attractive, but most men around the country believe that female attractiveness means flashy attire and globs of makeup. Think Britney Spears or Kim Kardashian. Many Americans are spoon fed pop culture and use that as a gauge of attractiveness. I personally prefer the earthy looks of Seattle women, although sometimes I think they are a bit over-the-top grungy. Like they will go ta a nice restaurant wearing sweat pants and a sweat shirt, looking like they just got out of the gym..

Coffeeshops are horrible places to meet people in Seattle, because they are more like libraries. I use to hold this against Seattle, but now I am starting to understand why Seattle's coffeeshops are the way they are. If you think about the fact that many people in Seattle do not make enough money to live in comfortable accommodation, the coffeeshop makes a nice escape. Many people live in tiny little boxes which they pay a good amount of money or they are stuck in crowded households that are undersized. So, I notice most Seattle coffeeshops end up functioning more as libraries where people do their work and don't want to be disturbed.

If you go to bars, it will be easy to meet men.. But, let me be straight with you and I know you will hate me for saying it. Personally, as a man, and many men will agree withe me, I think your criteria somehow makes you a bit on the superficial side, considering you judge men based on their credentials, jobs, etc. Many men are seeking a woman who is attracted to them just for them and not for the kind of job or degree they hold. Many men are turned off to women in Seattle because of these very type of stereotypes you are emanating in your post.

Yeah, all women say they are not looking for a supermodel or a millionaire, but when they say, oh but , he needs a good degree and a nice white collar job, we generally figure out that we are judged on assets and credentials rather than our personality and virtue. Most men I know hate that. Try finding a human being first, the job, degree, income , etc put on the back burner.
I was just wondering myself how a woman can know on sight what type / even IF a man has a degree and / or how much money they make, etc.

I had the misfortune of dating a girl in the past who, while we got along pretty well and liked each other, decided that I wasn't for her because of my JOB. Really?!! Yea, I'm not making money hand over fist, but I DO have a reliable, 40-hour per week job that pays me well over minimum wage with ample growth opportunity that I love. I'm actually glad nothing came out of that, because it just reeks of gold digger and I want nothing to do with that. (Not that I'm a stingy tightwad who doesn't like to spoil his girlfriend once in a while, but I think in no way should a job type or income be a factor. As long as someone isn't leaching / freeloading off of you and able to pay their own bills and debts, what's the issue?).

Why can't people just be happy with the simpler things in life? Money and material possession are insignificant peanuts compared things like loyalty, honesty, trust, morals, ethics, personality, intellect, virtue, heart, LOVE, etc........

So anyway, yea, don't normally go off like that, but this struck a nerve with me. I'm single right now and hate it, but honestly I'm happier hating being single than I would be in a relationship with someone who keeps me around based on my job, income, or the type of car I drive.

Last edited by cjg5; 01-11-2014 at 01:28 AM..
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