Friends within the Seattle Freeze? (Starbuck: apartment, buying, live in)

[tankhead]

So should the Seattle Freeze discourage anyone from moving there? I'm from Florida and have not had problems making friends here or when I lived in California.

I've never been to Seattle, but it doesn't sound as if the weather there would bother me too much as it rains almost everyday for 6 months out of the year here in Florida. As long as it's not as cold as the winter in Chicago, it shouldn't bother me.

[JBVirtuoso]

I think the Seattle Freeze is generally conflated with the difficulty that comes with making friends as an adult no matter where you live. People complain about it a lot, but as far as I can tell, it's because people move here after living somewhere else for 20 years and get discouraged when they don't have anyone to go get coffee with after six months here. I'm not saying it's not a problem, because it is, but it's not necessarily one that's unique to Seattle.

Also, the definition of "the Seattle Freeze" as perpetuated online is so broad that it's almost meaningless. For some people, it's about how people flake out of plans at the last minute, and don't say no when they have no intention of coming to your event. For others, it's how people in line at Starbucks react poorly when you try to make small talk with your fellow under-caffeinated patrons. Still others believe that the Seattle Freeze is about the city being full of shy introverted people who have a serious phobia of social interaction.

What all this says to me is that the Seattle Freeze is really just an umbrella term for people's social frustrations. That's all well and good, but it means that each person will react to the situation differently. If you've moved around a lot and have made friends in unfamiliar places before, you shouldn't have any problem doing the same here. If this is your first time leaving your hometown, it's going to be a lot harder to uproot yourself and build a social network from scratch.

[Hemlock140]

Originally Posted by tankhead

So should the Seattle Freeze discourage anyone from moving there? I'm from Florida and have not had problems making friends here or when I lived in California.

I've never been to Seattle, but it doesn't sound as if the weather there would bother me too much as it rains almost everyday for 6 months out of the year here in Florida. As long as it's not as cold as the winter in Chicago, it shouldn't bother me.

Sounds like you would be fine here. The rain is also over (or under) rated. Currently it's a beautiful sunny day, though only in the low 30s, it's not raining. We were down to 17 this morning but we are east of Seattle at 60' elevation, Seattle only got down to the high 20s and is currently at 33, and that's unusually cold for late November. Our "severe" cold snaps usually last a week or less.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by JBVirtuoso

I think the Seattle Freeze is generally conflated with the difficulty that comes with making friends as an adult no matter where you live. People complain about it a lot, but as far as I can tell, it's because people move here after living somewhere else for 20 years and get discouraged when they don't have anyone to go get coffee with after six months here. I'm not saying it's not a problem, because it is, but it's not necessarily one that's unique to Seattle.

Actually, it is. In the Bay Area, and according to reports, LA, and to some extent NYC, it's easier to meet people. People are friendly in public. Some newcomers to the Bay Area have said they have a group of friends after a few months. Those may not be deep friendships, but they're at least "someone to get coffee with", as you say. It's a start. Very different from Seattle.

[Dragonlexie]

is this really a big issue for a majority of people that move here?

[RVD90277]

I have never experienced it.

I met a few people at work and although for the most part we are friendly at work and keep to ourselves I have met a few close friends through work where we go to each other's families houses every now and then, etc. My team also has frequent get togethers at each others' homes since many of the engineers on my team are not local. They typically don't invite me since I'm their boss (and I don't mind) and it seems like they have a lot of fun watching sports, celebrating birthdays and holidays, etc.

I have also met some folks at my local church. We regularly see each other at our homes, etc.

I actually don't think Seattle is any different from LA in this sense. In many ways I think Seattle is better since most of the people here are transplants so they don't really have a lot of family here. So friends are what they have and so we hang out together a lot. In LA, there were a lot of extended families so holidays tend to be spent with family, not friends so if you don't have family there, it's easy to be left out a bit.

[tankhead]

Originally Posted by RVD90277

I have never experienced it.

I met a few people at work and although for the most part we are friendly at work and keep to ourselves I have met a few close friends through work where we go to each other's families houses every now and then, etc. My team also has frequent get togethers at each others' homes since many of the engineers on my team are not local. They typically don't invite me since I'm their boss (and I don't mind) and it seems like they have a lot of fun watching sports, celebrating birthdays and holidays, etc.

I have also met some folks at my local church. We regularly see each other at our homes, etc.

I actually don't think Seattle is any different from LA in this sense. In many ways I think Seattle is better since most of the people here are transplants so they don't really have a lot of family here. So friends are what they have and so we hang out together a lot. In LA, there were a lot of extended families so holidays tend to be spent with family, not friends so if you don't have family there, it's easy to be left out a bit.

Are most people in Seattle really not from Seattle?

It sounds like my hometown.

[FleeingSeattle]

Once someone says they are from Washington or Oregon, simply say "Sorry, I don't associate with natives". It saves a lot of time.

Portlanders will complain about Seattle, but don't let that fool you. They are exactly the same, in my experience.

It doesn't matter whether someone was born here or not. Once they have been here three years, they have become part of the culture and are one of the non-human natives, at least in behavior.

When you talk to transplants be negative about the people here, and they will open up to you. If you do not display an appropriate amount of negativity, they will think you are one of "them". It generally takes about three months for transplants to go from happy to realizing something's wrong. Transplants who regard everything as peachy are treated with a lot of distrust.

[seattlelatte]

Originally Posted by Hemlock140

Sounds like you would be fine here. The rain is also over (or under) rated. Currently it's a beautiful sunny day, though only in the low 30s, it's not raining. We were down to 17 this morning but we are east of Seattle at 60' elevation, Seattle only got down to the high 20s and is currently at 33, and that's unusually cold for late November. Our "severe" cold snaps usually last a week or less.

Actually I don't think that it is the rain get underneath some people's skin, but that almost perpetual gray, overcast skies during the Spring, Fall and Winter months. Boston and New York just to name a few actually experience more annual rainfall than Seattle.

[RVD90277]

Originally Posted by tankhead

Are most people in Seattle really not from Seattle?

It sounds like my hometown.

definitely sampling error but if you walk through the halls of Amazon, Microsoft, Google, etc. almost everyone moved here from another state for the job.

of course there are a few people who are native to this region but at least in my circle of acquaintances, it's less than 5%. YMMV.