Is there a surfeit of single moms in this area compared to the boswash corridor? (Seattle: transplants)

[mufc1878]

Early 30's single guy that moved here from DC. Have been checking out the bar scene on the east side and in Seattle and I've been running into a lot of late 20's/early 30's women that are single moms here compared to back in DC or NYC. I thought there was a baby bust in seattle so what's up with that? It has completely caught me off guard and it was something I never expected.

[pikabike]

It takes one man and one woman to make a baby. Whenever single moms proliferate, there are single fathers also...but they skated away from parental responsibility, were told to bugger off and stay away, or they don't know they impregnated someone.

OP, if you want to avoid involvement with someone who already has a kid (and I don't blame you), be up front about that with someone. They might have a nasty retort for you, but that should only reinforce why you need to be straight with them. Don't get someone's hopes up, which I have seen happen. Unfortunately, some single moms, especially young ones, are looking for a financial rescuer. If their kid also is hoping for a new daddy, then leading the mother on is doubly troublesome.

Avoid, avoid, avoid!

And yeah, this does not answer your question. The only thing I can think of is that the Seattle growth boom draws not only well-paid prospective employees but also people who think a high minimum wage does not come with a high COL also. Maybe some of them think they can feed off the edges. For whatever reason, the mindset in the boswash corridor seems to be skewed more towards getting career going first, childfree, and then considering procreation AFTER that.

[CrazyDonkey]

It is just that more people, of all types, would rather live "in the city" here, including single mothers. Many people moving here automatically assume that living in the suburbs is preferable, but that isn't necessarily true here.

[sunburned_in_seattle]

I had to google Boswash.

Not from the E. coast.

Maybe women here are just more pro Life?

[sunburned_in_seattle]

Oh, I don't think there is a baby bust here at all...not compared to high-cost-of-living California.

I'm surprised at how many native WA marry relatively young and start families in their 20's. In CA seems like they start later...just my observation. (but I'm not observing the single moms that you are talking about)

I live in the burbs though.

[sla07]

early/mid 30's single here moving to seattle in about 4 weeks...OP, good to know youre running into that…i see more the 30's single moms here in sofla with the once in a while 20's single mom…not what i want in a woman im dating so i am up front about my intentions and situation…

[DutchessCottonPuff]

I was a single working mom once and yeah it's best to be straight up about that before you date because I wouldn't have wanted anyone who didn't like my kid. Plus is not "a kid looking for a daddy " as one poster said , its that it's our job to make sure the person we are with are safe to be around our kid. I had one lead me on EVERY DAY for a year and a half before I found out and that's a year and a half of my life I can't get back . ( believe it or not he confessed he hated the color of my hair -natural light blonde- and did not want to take a chance on any kid of his having blonde hair ??)

So yeah we have standards too believe it or not . 53 and kids all grown except one high schooler . One of the things I found most attractive about my husband was what a good safe, KIND , patient , parental influence he would be around my kid(s) at the time . He ended up formally adopting my youngest and she doesn't remember her bio dad ( my ex husband left when I wasn't expected to live through a surgery after 14 years of marriage so he was no one nighter ) she was so young .

My husband did excellent job of raising her . She and I have a hard time seeing eye to eye but my husband & she have no problem .

We always had plenty of US time. We go places and do stuff by ourselves all the time too , but I do not blame you . If that's not your thing it's just not but I will always be grateful she had an excellent male role model . Too many young ladies and men don't. He says he is the lucky one .

It's not for everybody.

[skidamarink]

OP, it's just a coincidence that you've been running into them. That is not common in the city of Seattle. Maybe in Tacoma and some of the So King County suburbs (cheaper). Seattle does provide generous public assistance to such folks, but it's not as common as finding single moms in Sunbelt cities or Midwestern cities.

If it really is true that DC and NYC have less single moms, that's probably because East Coast cities do a better job of social awareness and pregnancy prevention resources. There are also more professional, intellectual females in East Coast cities making $45K+/yr and that demographic is less likely to become single moms. Seattle is still dealing with it's wild frontier past clashing with the growing white collar culture.

[treuphax]

In Seattle I've encountered many, many more childless women (coupled and single) who are proud of not having offspring and repulsed by children. But they do love their dogs!

[mufc1878]

Originally Posted by skidamarink

OP, it's just a coincidence that you've been running into them. That is not common in the city of Seattle. Maybe in Tacoma and some of the So King County suburbs (cheaper). Seattle does provide generous public assistance to such folks, but it's not as common as finding single moms in Sunbelt cities or Midwestern cities.

If it really is true that DC and NYC have less single moms, that's probably because East Coast cities do a better job of social awareness and pregnancy prevention resources. There are also more professional, intellectual females in East Coast cities making $45K+/yr and that demographic is less likely to become single moms. Seattle is still dealing with it's wild frontier past clashing with the growing white collar culture.

True - I think it's because I had this sense of everyone is going to be a transplant (that's how the national news spins it regarding seattle) but I think the correlation is that the locals definitely have kids earlier and places like DC and NYC just have ridiculously high number of transplants that you end up thinking all coastal cities are like that.