Why are people so smug and flaky here? (Seattle, Tacoma: cinema, high school)

[bundleofpisces]

Lol spot on regarding flakiness! Its like people here fake interest because they don't know what else to say to you.

I've met cool people here, don't get me wrong, but I run into this so many times.

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

Just curious where you got these impressions; did you work in just one or two offices for those 3 years? If so, is it fair to judge an entire city by that? I lived in Seattle for over 10 years, and never encountered co-workers who showed interest in my life outside of work. That's considered intrusive. If someone chooses to share something about their kids, or a fun weekend they had, people respond politely, but there's no follow-up, the points aren't pursued. People MYOB at the office, like they should. I never experienced flakiness, either. Someone invites you to a party, you go. What do you mean, it's hard to get up the enthusiasm? Don't you enjoy socializing with friends? I don't get this. And I've never run into the Seattle-Is-Best attitude, either. Maybe a lot of this is a generational thing, or a techie thing?

I'm not saying Seattle is great. I'm saying I've never run into those particular issues. What was glaring about Seattleites to me was their reserved nature, the lack of friendliness, generally. If you made friends in college and stuck with them, that would be your group for the rest of your stay in Seattle, with rare exception. No friendly smiles when passing on the street, no banter while waiting in line at the cashier's, except when foreigners or a visitor or recent transplant from California spoke up, and even then, as often as not, they wouldn't get much of a response.

I agree. Where I'm from saying hello, how are you to people are the street is the norm. So moving here, that was a bit of a shock. I do still say it sometimes, but I'm finding myself slowly morph into the same, because I don't feel like people here want to even be bothered with it.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by bundleofpisces

I agree. Where I'm from saying hello, how are you to people are the street is the norm. So moving here, that was a bit of a shock. I do still say it sometimes, but I'm finding myself slowly morph into the same, because I don't feel like people here want to even be bothered with it.

I wish we could collect all the people posting in this sub-forum who miss the friendliness from where they're from, and create our own neighborhood.

[cmswazey]

Originally Posted by bundleofpisces

Lol spot on regarding flakiness! Its like people here fake interest because they don't know what else to say to you.

I've met cool people here, don't get me wrong, but I run into this so many times.

I agree. Where I'm from saying hello, how are you to people are the street is the norm. So moving here, that was a bit of a shock. I do still say it sometimes, but I'm finding myself slowly morph into the same, because I don't feel like people here want to even be bothered with it.

/ stoops down, picks up dubious looking object, proffers it...

Here. You dropped your unfair generality. Thought you might want it...to reuse or whatever.

[bundleofpisces]

Originally Posted by cmswazey

/ stoops down, picks up dubious looking object, proffers it...

Here. You dropped your unfair generality. Thought you might want it...to reuse or whatever.

Okay...thanks?

[marlowebeach]

Originally Posted by bundleofpisces

I agree. Where I'm from saying hello, how are you to people are the street is the norm. So moving here, that was a bit of a shock. I do still say it sometimes, but I'm finding myself slowly morph into the same, because I don't feel like people here want to even be bothered with it.

So much this. Before I came here, I'd heard of the Freeze, but I was happy and optimistic and thought I would be fine, that an outgoing personality and a good attitude could overcome it, if it even existed. Three years later, my smile/eye contact/greeting has been rejected so many times that I don't try as much as I used to. If I stayed much longer, I'd give up and become like everyone else. Ugh.

[cmswazey]

I don't get it. I smile at people all the time and have other friendly interactions. Yes, there is a different culture/vibe than in the South, for example, but there's still lots of friendliness here.

[bundleofpisces]

Originally Posted by cmswazey

I don't get it. I smile at people all the time and have other friendly interactions. Yes, there is a different culture/vibe than in the South, for example, but there's still lots of friendliness here.

Thats cool but that is what I and others have experienced in general. I never said the most people here go around snapping at me or are blatantly rude, there is just very little "warmth" if that makes sense. So now I keep my headphones in and When I meet people, they can tell Im not from here because of this. I have heard it so many times at work and when I'm out.

Anyway, the point is just because you don't experience or notice it, doesnt make it not true. Some things you just won't relate to and thats not a necessarily bad thing. It is bad when you dismiss their truth, though. Everyone does not have your same experiences...

[cmswazey]

Yes,I know that different people have different experiences.

I also think it's what you bring to the table.

[bundleofpisces]

Originally Posted by cmswazey

Yes,I know that different people have different experiences.

I also think it's what you bring to the table.

Okay, fair enough. I am content with what I bring, but if that person isnt receptive...oh well. Their loss!

[Minntoaz]

Originally Posted by RustinginSeattle

When I went to the UW, I had to learn to stop looking at people and smiling. I had so many weirdos coming up to me and guys would often take it as an "approach me!" look. Looking people in the eye and smiling felt naive and I learned to stop doing it. I think they call it street smarts. I'm female, so this matters for my safety, as a guy you may not see things that way.

When I'm not on the streets or on the bus, I'm pretty friendly.

Maybe we just have a larger number of creepy people that think they can approach you if you look at them.

It's a regional thing. When I moved to Arizona I found it very odd that people would make eye contact all the time. When I moved back to Minneapolis I had to shift back to the lack of eye contact thing. When I went/moved to NYC for the love of everything DO NOT make eye contact. Seattle I think tends to be like Minneapolis with the Scandinavian and Asian cultural influences which are both light on eye contact (generally speaking).