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I am sort of like this..although orig from Texas ( but EXTREMELY free spirited and open minded) I've lived everywhere. Been here almost a decade and very broke due to several non avoidable things. I do actually have an interest which has been my now 39 year pro career and 54 year love with the racing horse industry I was born into. I've never had such a hard time with the horse folk that I've had here .Ever, not even when I worked on a TB farm for a very tense trainer in Hampshire UK.
I am seriously contemplating not working up here this season due to the extreme hazing and general nastiness. Just this morning I told my husband I was seriously thinking of hanging the horses up for good.
To all who know,, we are hanging in. Husbands issue has not changed but holding his own. We will try-TRY- to make it thru last daughters senior year but told her I can't promise anything. We are trying to gather the $$ to limp out of here as soon as we can.. It wasn't always this way $$wise but we should have left sooner . Love it here but I'm too friendly,I guess.
Strangely, my only "friends" are/were several Seahawks . Currently 3 active Seahawks and some coaches + Warren Moon either played with or coached various sons of mine back in Texas. So after being a HUGE fan since the seventies THAT is my reward up here. I've of course met more through them,gone to informal get togethers and have had alot of fun but yes we are all mainly from the south and don't mind hugs and the every day stuff southern people do. They are who I will miss but they mostly all go back home anyway off season
Currently trying to figure out where to go from here. Not Texas.
Hmmmmm
horses?
I can see you have already been though PDX (Im doing ok so far, but have a lovely partner, and that makes all the difference)... northern CA (Chico, Sac area) maybe?
I still have a house there, and if you have your housing nailed down, its do- able....
(also, we have good friends in Chatanooga and they love it, seems very open, and up and coming if that could work for your industry...)...
The key is that you've met them online. You don't know what they're like in person. You don't know what they'd be like if you hadn't contacted them online, and ran into them in the grocery store instead, or if they were your neighbors.
Well, I've been on a forum group with this bunch of locals there for well over a couple years now, have had several real time lengthy phone conversations with at least three of them who reached out to me, and honestly, ME aside, what I see demonstrated there among neighbors who live there, natives and CA relocaters alike, in their day-to-day postings and communication with each other, there is such strong community spirit, people looking out for one another, impromptu as well as scheduled events they hold, special projects to help others in-need and raise money, donations of goods needed....it's truly been impressive, to me! I don't think that's a have-to-see-it-in-person-to-be-real thing. One gal who was in a real bind one day had so many neighbors both near and far reaching out to help her, no strings attached, having to drive to her in snow...just wanting to help. Sure appeared as genuine "nice folks" to me! I can't wait to live there!
This does sound great--like an old-fashioned neighborhood full of neighborliness. I hope it works out for you. Please give us a report from the front!
I am sort of like this..although orig from Texas ( but EXTREMELY free spirited and open minded) I've lived everywhere. Been here almost a decade and very broke due to several non avoidable things. I do actually have an interest which has been my now 39 year pro career and 54 year love with the racing horse industry I was born into. I've never had such a hard time with the horse folk that I've had here .Ever, not even when I worked on a TB farm for a very tense trainer in Hampshire UK.
I am seriously contemplating not working up here this season due to the extreme hazing and general nastiness. Just this morning I told my husband I was seriously thinking of hanging the horses up for good.
To all who know,, we are hanging in. Husbands issue has not changed but holding his own. We will try-TRY- to make it thru last daughters senior year but told her I can't promise anything. We are trying to gather the $$ to limp out of here as soon as we can.. It wasn't always this way $$wise but we should have left sooner . Love it here but I'm too friendly,I guess.
Strangely, my only "friends" are/were several Seahawks . Currently 3 active Seahawks and some coaches + Warren Moon either played with or coached various sons of mine back in Texas. So after being a HUGE fan since the seventies THAT is my reward up here. I've of course met more through them,gone to informal get togethers and have had alot of fun but yes we are all mainly from the south and don't mind hugs and the every day stuff southern people do. They are who I will miss but they mostly all go back home anyway off season
Currently trying to figure out where to go from here. Not Texas.
Dutchess,
I appreciate your response and I leave a post that I made a couple of years ago. Hey, I have an Earl Campbell jersey and love football
Quote:
Originally Posted by NWarty
It's been said on this forum many, many times. People in Western Washington are a very passive aggressive bunch. Say "Hi!" to them on a sidewalk and they may look at you like you have a gigantic dong growing out of your forehead and an ulterior motive to go with it.
I had a woman from Oregon stop me the other day and ask for directions. She was older and needed help and was very upfront in asking me for assistance. After giving her directions, I asked her where she was from and she said "Bend, OR, but originally from Texas" as she touched my arm like an older southern lady typically does. Yeah...you don't see that type of behavior from the natives up here.
I've lived here for 16 years and I too am a Southern Transplant. They are cordial, they are not friendly.
My prior post in this thread only confirms my observations when wife's said co-workers came over last night to have drinks prior to going to see the Indigo Girls. I told her about this a week ago with them not talking to me, to which she said "don't worry about honey they will, it's our home". The two of her friends didn't even acknowledge me in my own home after being here for five minutes. Packed up a couple of beers and went to the man room and muttered a couple expletives. I said something again to my wife this morning about it; she finally acknowledged grudgingly that there is a very deep seated issue with the culture here. I think she finally "gets it" why it's been difficult for me to make friends here for the last two decades (My wife is a San Diego native that has been here since 1979)
Dutchess,
I appreciate your response and I leave a post that I made a couple of years ago. Hey, I have an Earl Campbell jersey and love football
My prior post in this thread only confirms my observations when wife's said co-workers came over last night to have drinks prior to going to see the Indigo Girls. I told her about this a week ago with them not talking to me, to which she said "don't worry about honey they will, it's our home". The two of her friends didn't even acknowledge me in my own home after being here for five minutes. Packed up a couple of beers and went to the man room and muttered a couple expletives. I said something again to my wife this morning about it; she finally acknowledged grudgingly that there is a very deep seated issue with the culture here. I think she finally "gets it" why it's been difficult for me to make friends here for the last two decades (My wife is a San Diego native that has been here since 1979)
Hang on to that jersey - LOVE our darling Earl!!! Love Ya Blue !!!Bless that big old heart he is just not in good health -our Tyler Rose.
I can easily envision this-unfortunately. Then they wonder why they can't get a date or men suck etc..even if they aren't straight it's EXTREMELY BAD manners. lol I was robbed a couple of years ago in Everett on a Saturday night in a doorway of a busy convenience store and between demanding my cash he was yelling at me DO NOT TOUCH ME.....as if.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick
Hmmmmm
horses?
I can see you have already been though PDX (Im doing ok so far, but have a lovely partner, and that makes all the difference)... northern CA (Chico, Sac area) maybe?
I still have a house there, and if you have your housing nailed down, its do- able....
(also, we have good friends in Chatanooga and they love it, seems very open, and up and coming if that could work for your industry...)...
Hi CaJChick, I gallop racing horses of several breeds mainly TB's but AQHA APHA ApHC..so I'm mainly near large tracks My sister lives in Sac (a SF refugee lol) we are considering several places near there and Fla/ East Coast. Our housing here is precarious at best. Ky is ideal but husbands profession just doesn't exist there. We are definitely looking though.
Last edited by DutchessCottonPuff; 03-19-2017 at 02:06 PM..
My prior post in this thread only confirms my observations when wife's said co-workers came over last night to have drinks prior to going to see the Indigo Girls. I told her about this a week ago with them not talking to me, to which she said "don't worry about honey they will, it's our home". The two of her friends didn't even acknowledge me in my own home after being here for five minutes. Packed up a couple of beers and went to the man room and muttered a couple expletives. I said something again to my wife this morning about it; she finally acknowledged grudgingly that there is a very deep seated issue with the culture here. I think she finally "gets it" why it's been difficult for me to make friends here for the last two decades (My wife is a San Diego native that has been here since 1979)
That's just plain rude. I wouldn't dismiss it as being "the local culture". How is it your wife has worked with these people for years, and they've been to your home a few times, yet she has no idea why they're rude to you? Why is she friends with people who are rude to her husband? This is not "the local culture"; this is either the result of a poor upbringing, or people who don't care about basic courtesy, or perhaps for some reason they've decided they don't like you (and don't care about basic courtesy).
You are within your right to tell your wife you don't want those people in your home anymore. She should back you up on that, if she cares about you.
This is how confirmation bias works. Every bad social interaction (or lack thereof) is seen as evidence for the Seattle freeze and every good social interaction is either forgotten or attributed to transplants. If Silicon Valley or LA had a snappy name for it then you'd hear about it all the time when it gets blamed for when someone has trouble making friends.
This is how confirmation bias works. Every bad social interaction (or lack thereof) is seen as evidence for the Seattle freeze and every good social interaction is either forgotten or attributed to transplants. If Silicon Valley or LA had a snappy name for it then you'd hear about it all the time when it gets blamed for when someone has trouble making friends.
Good call, Transmition, think you're right! aka "profiling" We get a lot of that sort of thing even here in San Diego...people commenting on certain neighborhoods and labeling them as though EVERYONE who lives there fits a certain predetermined profile, rich or poor. Meh!
Another part of the problem is the internet--the ability to speak and not really be accountable, hide behind your screen. People are more inclined to form judgments about stuff & people, but rather than go do the work their own self (rather than relying on what others tell them) of hanging out over the back fence and actually speaking in real time to, getting to know who their neighbors are, they are taking offense to any real or imagined slight and then rather than confronting it directly, they prefer yakking it up big time at their favorite venting spot--online. BOOM! Suddenly *EVERYBODY from such-and-such-place is a ::whatever::*.
I could easily use the same measuring stick and say the same thing about how so many people seem to hate CA-ians, and profusely perpetuate myths that we're all a bunch of :::insert stereotypes here::: We all hear it, laugh about it, but I really doubt it makes too many succumb to fulfilling the myths.
Dutchess,
I appreciate your response and I leave a post that I made a couple of years ago. Hey, I have an Earl Campbell jersey and love football
My prior post in this thread only confirms my observations when wife's said co-workers came over last night to have drinks prior to going to see the Indigo Girls. I told her about this a week ago with them not talking to me, to which she said "don't worry about honey they will, it's our home". The two of her friends didn't even acknowledge me in my own home after being here for five minutes. Packed up a couple of beers and went to the man room and muttered a couple expletives. I said something again to my wife this morning about it; she finally acknowledged grudgingly that there is a very deep seated issue with the culture here. I think she finally "gets it" why it's been difficult for me to make friends here for the last two decades (My wife is a San Diego native that has been here since 1979)
Your wife's co-workers sound like many of my colleagues. I've tried to be friendly. I've tried being charming. I've tried drawing them into conversations in order to get to know them. If I get acknowledged at all, (often I'm convinced I'm invisible / mute based on their responses), it's curt responses that make clear they have no time or interest exploring any kind of human connection. Perhaps they're so closed minded that they can't imagine we have anything in common or they have written me off out of some prejudice. (square straight white male = boring!?!?!?)
I'm always curious about what kind of stories are hiding behind unfamiliar faces and hope maybe to find something worth learning.... Perhaps the folks around here may be so "educated" and credentialed yet ignorant and incurious that they're not interested in these opportunities... We're a big city crowded full of hermits who don't want to be bothered by the inconvenience of human relations...
It's stony, surly, scowls all the way down. One gets ignored enough when trying to engage people, you stop bothering to try. It's not even one of these fierce competitive kinds of organizations. It's a big hippy dippy non-profit...
Another thing I've noticed; the tiny handful of souls who've been open, receptive and frankly at least civil have dwindled faster than I can find them. Of the fewer than a half dozen people I've admired and identified that might grow into potential friends in the past year of earnest effort of social engagement, four have already moved away from Seattle in the since then. In a transient city, it's probably not worth investing in friendships. Even if you don't move, many others will.
I've made an observation... Perhaps not enough for a generalization, but I'll share to see if this sounds familiar.
The strangest and rudest reactions I get around here have been from white American women of a certain age.
It's as if growing up, going to college and being socialized in the US is peculiarly damaging.
Immigrants, Europeans, Asians, Africans... From them I rarely get the kind of odd rude behavior I get from many educated Yanks.
--------
This is perhaps not entirely relevant, but this experience saturday has stuck in my mind.
I was at out at a store and I asked a woman who was working there,
"Do you have a men's room?"
She responded quite forcefully and with indignance as if to correct me,
"No."
"We have unisex bathrooms."
I hate the term "bathroom" there's never a bath, and that's not even what we're looking for and "restroom" seems too oblique and vague, as if I'm looking for a place to "rest."
I would agree that the "Men's" or "Ladies'" designations are largely irrelevant. A toilet is all we really need. Why make it complicated and emphasize for whom it is intended? Making a big show that it's a political statement of solidarity with the rainbow of sexual minorities is really quite unnecessary.
Perhaps we could just call it a:
Toilet.
Loo.
Water closet.
These are all better.
Except for being foreign terms and sounding affected....
I wonder how much of the 'Seattle Freeze' is due to people awkward social skills who just don't have success anywhere.
Let's say I buy that the locals are a weird non-social bunch who don't like to meet new friends. So can't you just make friends with other transplants (of which there are so many)? My best friends in most of the cities I've traveled to were other transplants. Honestly, you're just not going to be able to beat out a childhood friendship. You'll always be a lower priority.
Take the guy (NWarty) who complains about his wife's coworkers. So your response to people not interacting with you is to grab a pack of beers, swear, and then go hide out in your man cave? The first image that comes to your head when describing a situation in which someone looked at you weird when you said Hi is a "gigantic dong growing out of your forehead"? You sound like exactly the type of person I would not want to be friends with.
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I can't wait to live there!
We get a lot of that sort of thing even here in San Diego...people commenting on certain neighborhoods and labeling them as though EVERYONE who lives there fits a certain predetermined profile, rich or poor. Meh! 
