Social activities around Seattle for socially anxious 20-something introverts? (club, bars)

[lettuces]

Yeah I know, one of these posts lol
I’m finding myself friendless and with no idea how to make connections. I’m looking for low-stress activities that would be comfortable enough for introverts. Bars and your typical adult events give me high levels of anxiety. You’re expected to be extroverted, be superficial and talk about things that don’t interest me, and can randomly get hit on.
I’m looking for friends and something to do that won’t give me a panic attack. Any suggestions? Any events or activities you know of? Thanks

[Diana Holbrook]

Can you have a dog? Not only is a dog a good companion for you, a dog obedience or agility class or group is a good somewhat social activity, where you can get to be around other people while focusing on something ~else~. As a fellow introvert, I like that. And you might meet others who you can get together with.

[87112]

Scooters and Motorcycles are introvert's best friends. There are numerous group rides come March or late March.
A lot of benefits to riding, save gas-less miles on the car- relieve boredom of 4 wheels.

[homesinseattle]

Lettuces,

Check out Underdog Coed Sports Leagues, everything including dodgeball. Really chill, good people.

Seattle Sports Leagues, Corporate Team Building and Staff Appreciation Sports Parties - Underdog Sports Leagues - Seattle, WA

[CrazyDonkey]

What do you enjoy doing? What are you good at doing? There is a group for every interest - find one or more groups that match yours. If you like to read (many introverts do), join a reading club, for instance.

On the other hand, work on stretching boundaries and overcoming anxiety. Find a folk dancing group that you can join. Join a hiking group or club. Join a Toastmasters club to improve your social and communication skills.

Interacting is not the same as being superficial or glib.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by CrazyDonkey

What do you enjoy doing? What are you good at doing? There is a group for every interest - find one or more groups that match yours. If you like to read (many introverts do), join a reading club, for instance.

On the other hand, work on stretching boundaries and overcoming anxiety. Find a folk dancing group that you can join. Join a hiking group or club. Join a Toastmasters club to improve your social and communication skills.

Interacting is not the same as being superficial or glib.

Exactly what I was going to suggest. There's Contra Dancing, there's Balkan Folk Dance (though a lot of the people participating are around retirement age, these days, there are still some young people). Check out Eliott Bay Bookstore, to see if they have any book clubs, or upcoming book readings by authors. They have an events schedule.

You can check out REI's calendar, to see when they have travel seminars. The Mountaineers has a winter schedule of hiking/travel seminars/Powerpoint shows, and other informal gatherings. All ages participate in the Mountaineers.

Look up your local Meetup groups (there should be a list online, under Meetups, Seattle, or something like that), and see if there's anything that interests you. There might be women's groups of various sorts. Look at boating clubs (rowing, kayaking, sailing, canoeing). Join a Sister City committee. Check out the Parks Department schedules of activities, and the different Parks Dept. buildings around town: they offer a variety of classes.

[lettuces]

Originally Posted by Diana Holbrook

Can you have a dog? Not only is a dog a good companion for you, a dog obedience or agility class or group is a good somewhat social activity, where you can get to be around other people while focusing on something ~else~. As a fellow introvert, I like that. And you might meet others who you can get together with.

Sadly, no. I’d love to have pets, but I can’t have any atm.

[eugene_b]

Hey Lettuces, I am a middle-aged married introvert now but I remember my early 20s pretty well and I was facing very similar struggles at that time. For me step one was finding activities that I legitimately enjoyed or always wanted to try, e.g. skiing, hiking, climbing, Irish dancing, cycling, etc, etc. Step 2 was to go for those activities and you are bound to run into people along the way. The reason it works is because when you are legitimately interested in something and meet people with similar interests, it's very easy and natural to start having meaningful conversations about the topic and make friends. Step 3 would be to do the same but with bias to meeting more people (e.g. if it's hiking, join relevant meetup or club).

[Diana Holbrook]

Originally Posted by eugene_b

Hey Lettuces, I am a middle-aged married introvert now but I remember my early 20s pretty well and I was facing very similar struggles at that time. For me step one was finding activities that I legitimately enjoyed or always wanted to try, e.g. skiing, hiking, climbing, Irish dancing, cycling, etc, etc. Step 2 was to go for those activities and you are bound to run into people along the way. The reason it works is because when you are legitimately interested in something and meet people with similar interests, it's very easy and natural to start having meaningful conversations about the topic and make friends. Step 3 would be to do the same but with bias to meeting more people (e.g. if it's hiking, join relevant meetup or club).

Agree! I met my husband online... not at a singles site, but at a forum, talking about a common interest. Singles/dating sites are too *pressured*... but a hobby group.... you can focus on the interest, and you're right, a lot more natural friendships form.

[Blondebaerde]

Originally Posted by lettuces

Yeah I know, one of these posts lol
I’m finding myself friendless and with no idea how to make connections. I’m looking for low-stress activities that would be comfortable enough for introverts. Bars and your typical adult events give me high levels of anxiety. You’re expected to be extroverted, be superficial and talk about things that don’t interest me, and can randomly get hit on.
I’m looking for friends and something to do that won’t give me a panic attack. Any suggestions? Any events or activities you know of? Thanks

Missed this earlier.

I'm a loner at the best of times, with a core group of friends. Those core friends were mostly around two things, way back when: my great passion in life, at one point (motorcycles, motorcycle racing, touring, various other) and career (IT in various guises as the tech changed past thirty years). So I know all about *not* going to bars, happy hours, and etc. As I say about morale events: it's best for my morale if I don't attend.

Men congregate around interests; women, community. So they say. My single parent female friend does much of her socializing through a Meetup called, uh, single parents or some such. Always something to talk about! She manages to milk dates out of it, too, one way or another. Friends of friends. She's resourceful.

Since the phrase "hit on" is used, and I haven't been hit-on since 1986, I'll assume female? If you have interests, if women can socialize around those, whatever they may be, start small. I see (social media site) has groups for hobbies, sometimes local. Meetup does too. Back in the day it was Usenet, and work, now it's maybe social media.

That's a great place to start.

Volunteering is not a idea, either. Can't count the places that really need it in my town, so I put in a few hours here in and there for what amounts to clerical IT work. Entry level that makes me long for the old days, really, when I wasn't paid much but didn't have much responsibility, either.