I just moved here 2 months ago and hate it (Seattle: fit in, apartment)

[aeroz]

When I first moved here I was scared of the big city, not being experienced with urban living and having come from Vancouver, WA, a nice pleasant suburban city. I came here to attend the University of Washington but now I'm having doubts as to whether putting up with the city is worth going to the UW.

I have discovered that I hate urban living, and I hate living in downtown Seattle about one mile from Pike & 3rd. Let me tell you what the apartment ad should have said:

"Trendy, affordable living in downtown Seattle close to the Welfare office, where the dirty, stinky men waiting in line for their handouts will flirt with and harass you every time you walk by.

"Even though rent is somewhat reasonable, parking is ridiculously unaffordable. Be prepared to pay dearly every time you park your car anywhere at all."

--Thus I sold my car before moving out here--

"If taking the bus, be prepared. You will experience first class ****. The people on the bus either will completely ignore you (do not hope for pleasant conversation), threaten your life, or make mean, rude and nasty comments to you."

So far what I have experienced by living here is that everything is too expensive, and its not worth it. Why would I want to live here? What is the draw? I have to endure being around the lowest example of humanity every time I walk out of my apartment to go shopping. There's the homeless, the crazy people who have conversations with folks who aren't there, the mean people who threaten your life if you look at them wrong, the crazy beggars who harass you for your money, and then the stuck up snobs.

The people who aren't homeless or crazy think they are too good for the ground they walk on. I haven't met any down-to-earth people here in Seattle. They all think they are too good for you and they have a strong sense of entitlement.

I'm a young 24 year old female business owner. Living here is bad for my social life (including dating life), bad for my business (retail space is way too overpriced), and bad for housing (I like my apartment but its too small).

The men here are either gay or, if straight, believe they are entitled to dating a supermodel. They also do not believe in commitment.

Everyone here regardless of gender is cold, distant, arrogant, lacking in character, anything but down-to-earth, and I can't stand it. I don't fit in here.

Where can I go where folks are down to earth, housing and retail is affordable, and there is a lot of sunshine and very little humidity? I've been looking at Colorado.

[azoria]

Supermodel? In Seattle? I have not seen such a creature.

Or maybe they're all hiding in oversized hoodies.....

[jenlion]

It sounds to me like you've got a case of being twentysomething. Unfortunately, darn near all the single men I've ever known in their twenties, for the last ten years (my own brother included), fit exactly the bill you are describing. I went with looking online and met a fellow geek, that's how I got around it, but if you're not looking for a guy already out of mainstream like that, then I suspect you're stuck with them until they grow.the.f***.up. They're exceptions I'm sure, but few and far between.

The women? I never got along with snotty, shoe-obsessed, entitled, silly women either. Not until I hit thirties and had a kid. Now, I get along with a lot of women, especially other mothers, or other women with "real" jobs. There are still plenty of cold, shallow, distant, better-than-you women in their thirties and up, but many of them have ditched that attitdue by now. Thank goodness. I thought I'd be friendless for life, because I wasn't going to find an attitude like that for me.

Some people aren't meant for trendy, on-the-edge, competitive, dog-eat-dog world of twentysomethinghood in a city. Nothing wrong with that. If you're choosing where to move yourself, and own a business, and want a life, sounds like you are way more grown-up than your peers. Fine. No reason to try to be in that environment if you skipped that stage of development!

Why not get it over with and move to the burbs? Depending on what your business is and what you are studying, there are lots of places you could live. If you LIKED Vancouver, then don't mess with what works -- find something like it or go back. Or perhaps simply another part of town still in Seattle? One of the neighborhoods? Ira and others can help you more there, but you can get a place that includes a parking spot, and if able to afford another car, do that. No more bus unless you want to. Seriously, if it's that annoying to get to and from your HOME, that stinks. Start looking for another part of town to live in. I think for the rest you'll have to wait for them to grow up. Be yourself and you'll probably run into like-minded people in time. Date men in their 30s rather than 20s. Shoot, seek out FRIENDS in their 30s rather than 20s. They can help you more with your business and plans, you'll probably look good by comparison, and they're more likely past the BS you're getting. Find out where they like to live, play, and work, and go there.

What kind of classes are you taking? You already run a biz but you're also a student. Interesting combo. How come? Is there maybe a meetup.com group that would be for people like you? I'm betting there's a young-entrepeneur-type group on there.

If you still hate it after really trying it for a year, then leave. It's not worth it trying to fit if you don't. But it sounds like you've seen just one tiny corner of this city. I LOVE it here (though I'm in the burbs and just visit city proper), after hating Dallas nearly every moment of the eight years I lived there (you hate shallow people and men-out-of-their-minds? DON'T move there!). But I also can see it's not for everyone and how great it is to be where you belong. Look for it -- know what it is you are looking for and really try to find it and make it happen -- and if it isn't here, THEN call it a lesson learned and move on. Just don't blow your chances to get the UW education until you've really tried to make it work.

[Lovetheoutdoors]

Maybe you're not cut out for the urban lifestyle. Everybody isn't. Have you thought about going to Washington State or the University of Idaho? Colorado State is a nice school in Ft Collins which has a population of about 150,000. Of course, it could be Seattle as well. Take a look at the "Seattle Freeze" forum. If you want to go to school in an urban environment, why not look at Portland State, UC Boulder (or even Denver), UNLV, ASU or University of Arizona? Albuquerque, NM may just be the place for you and the University of New mexico is there. Good luck.

[eskercurve]

I would think if you lived in Kirkland or somewhere there is a more suburban lifestyle you may be more comfortable. You are young and discovered that the urban life is not for you. Hey at least you discovered it now and not when you're older.

The UW area is pretty crappy. It's no wonder you moved away from there, but then you discovered big city life isn't your cup of tea. Try the burbs. And still ditch the car.

As for dating well ... hang in there. That's all I can say about that.

[ijoe13]

Originally Posted by aeroz

When I first moved here I was scared of the big city, not being experienced with urban living and having come from Vancouver, WA, a nice pleasant suburban city. I came here to attend the University of Washington but now I'm having doubts as to whether putting up with the city is worth going to the UW.

I have discovered that I hate urban living, and I hate living in downtown Seattle about one mile from Pike & 3rd. Let me tell you what the apartment ad should have said:

"Trendy, affordable living in downtown Seattle close to the Welfare office, where the dirty, stinky men waiting in line for their handouts will flirt with and harass you every time you walk by.

"Even though rent is somewhat reasonable, parking is ridiculously unaffordable. Be prepared to pay dearly every time you park your car anywhere at all."

--Thus I sold my car before moving out here--

"If taking the bus, be prepared. You will experience first class ****. The people on the bus either will completely ignore you (do not hope for pleasant conversation), threaten your life, or make mean, rude and nasty comments to you."

So far what I have experienced by living here is that everything is too expensive, and its not worth it. Why would I want to live here? What is the draw? I have to endure being around the lowest example of humanity every time I walk out of my apartment to go shopping. There's the homeless, the crazy people who have conversations with folks who aren't there, the mean people who threaten your life if you look at them wrong, the crazy beggars who harass you for your money, and then the stuck up snobs.

The people who aren't homeless or crazy think they are too good for the ground they walk on. I haven't met any down-to-earth people here in Seattle. They all think they are too good for you and they have a strong sense of entitlement.

I'm a young 24 year old female business owner. Living here is bad for my social life (including dating life), bad for my business (retail space is way too overpriced), and bad for housing (I like my apartment but its too small).

The men here are either gay or, if straight, believe they are entitled to dating a supermodel. They also do not believe in commitment.

Everyone here regardless of gender is cold, distant, arrogant, lacking in character, anything but down-to-earth, and I can't stand it. I don't fit in here.

Where can I go where folks are down to earth, housing and retail is affordable, and there is a lot of sunshine and very little humidity? I've been looking at Colorado.

I presume you did some apartment research prior to moving to Seattle, or did you move sight unseen? I would think you would have found out about the welfare office at some point prior to signing your lease.

[aeroz]

Originally Posted by ijoe13

I presume you did some apartment research prior to moving to Seattle, or did you move sight unseen? I would think you would have found out about the welfare office at some point prior to signing your lease.

They didn't exactly advertise that on the ad. And the welfare office isn't easily identified as a welfare office. Coming from a suburban area, I didn't know what "family services" meant.

[LongDawson]

Issaquah and Bellevue have quick straight-shot bus service to UW, and these cities do not have riff-raff outside your apartment. When it comes to aggressive beggars, I believe downtown Seattle will not change. Best to get out of there. Good luck.

[seattlenextyear]

City living can be lonely for a 20 something, especially if you don't already have friends in the area. I'd suggest you move to a smaller city and give city living a chance again when you're older. What about a nice college town like Boulder or Missoula?

[Zippy7fo]

You need friends....your projecting your loneliness onto other things...its obvious...everything your complaining about you have control over...