What is Seattle Like for an Inter-racial Couple (Tacoma, Kent: wedding, bus)
Seattle areaSeattle and King County Suburbs
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I am half of an interracial couple who lived in Seattle for 10 years, then moved to Atlanta. We can't wait to move back to Seattle. I really do understand the questions though, one would think Atlanta would be the perfect place for us with biracial kids, but it isn't. In Atlanta there is a lot of diversity, but no real integration or inclusion. I imagine that is what most people are used to, segregated communities, not real overt racism for the most part, but it is definitely there. My experience in Seattle was so different, the main reason being there are very few areas that are predominantly one group or the other. For the most part people just live wherever they want to, and no-one really cares. In most suburbs there are all races of families, gay, straight, extended families, all sorts. There aren't many cities like that anywhere else, and that is what I really love about Seattle.
The Seattle metro area has one of the highest rates of interracial marriage in the country. Its probably one of the best places for a multiracial couple. Many of the suburbs are pretty diverse as well.
Yes, I am asking only serious questions. We are in an area now that my husband can not even get hired for a truck driving job because he is black. He has had one company to hire him and when the economy started tanking, he got laid off.
We feel like we are living deep in Southern Mississippi here as it is a throwback to the 1960's.
The only jobs that black people can get in this area are low paying factory jobs. That is very frustrating.
I am white and my wife is mostly Black with Mexican, Russian, and Chinese ancestry, we don't have any problems here.
Glad to see someone else who knows the difference between politically collect tolerance the East Coast liberal cities push (which quite frankly, I'm sick of) and genuine acceptance that most of the West embraces. But Asian Females and White Males having problems dating? This is sort of new to me. I figured that Asian Female/White Male couples were the most accepted IRR couple in America. At least for where I live, a lot of it has to do with a sick homage to Colonialism: The Asian females I know who date White males are so obsessed with whites, they'll go out and date with any kind of White guy, even if he's physically and financially unfit; Many will even refuse to date Asian males and will spew out all of the negative Asian Male stereotypes; and these females will not even entertain the thought of dating even well to do and "whitewashed and assimilated" Black and Latino males. Many White Males I know who date Asian women tend to seek out women who are apparently submissive, aren't going to challenge any of their actions, and has a seriously case of the "Big White American man" macho complex.
Not to say your relationship or all White Male/Asian Female couples are like this, but the ones I know who are in love or are at least just chill with each others personalities are few and far in between. Anyway, glad you found a place that the two of you are happy and everyone accepts your relationship.
Fairfaxian, you got it right...
Seattle may be a hotbed of interracial dating, but it's very lopsided, i.e. white male and "minority female." Reflects the trend of the nation as a whole. So is it true harmony, or just another reflection of the continued racial power structure imbalance?
A disclaimer: YES, I KNOW that not "ALL" Asian females are self-loathing and find a way to feed colonialist mentalities through dating solely white men....BUT....they happen to be the majority of cases, is why it's so sad. It's hard for white males to understand this because they sit at the apex of our society. It's really not an issue that they would likely want to change or explore. Seriously, do you guys realize the volume of WM-AF relationships compared to every other type of IRR? Why AF? Because they have a reputation, earned or otherwise, of being submissive. A lot of males, irregardless of race, are into this.
Ever go to Thailand and visit the go-go bars? A field of "big white american man" complex males drinking beer. Ever see one of those Latin American overseas dating and marriage tours? "Big White American Male" and fragile-lil' senorita in need of protection and validation of their self through a white partner.
The Seattle metro area has one of the highest rates of interracial marriage in the country. Its probably one of the best places for a multiracial couple. Many of the suburbs are pretty diverse as well.
Yes but of what variety?
White Male/(fill in blank) female...
Reading through this thread and others, it's almost always in the line of "Seattle is great for interracial relationships. I'm white and my wife is Asian, and we have no problems" yada yada.
Does this truly reflect racial harmony and acceptance? I don't think so.
Seattle may be a hotbed of interracial dating, but it's very lopsided, i.e. white male and "minority female." Reflects the trend of the nation as a whole. So is it true harmony, or just another reflection of the continued racial power structure imbalance?
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the vast majority of males who live in Seattle happen to be white? People tend to date what's available. If a single white guy's company ends up moving him to another country for an extended or indefinite period of time, there's a good chance he's going to play the dating field... which will likely be comprised primarily of local women. American pioneers who pushed west married Native/Mexican women, and marriage between white and Hispanic people regardless of gender has been quite normal for the last 150 years (maybe this upsets you?). Mongolians (Asian) married... everything. People marry what's around.
As numerous Asian female and male friends have told me, to a large degree, it has to do with the fact that when they were growing up, most of them went to schools with a white majority, reflecting their area's composition. As such, their friends were white, they had sleepovers with white kids, and their first crushes were white kids. They turned on the TV and their favorite shows and movies had white actors and actresses.
For my part, I went to school in South Seattle/Beacon Hill, which at the time was basically black and Asian. Guess what my dating preferences are?
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A disclaimer: YES, I KNOW that not "ALL" Asian females are self-loathing and find a way to feed colonialist mentalities through dating solely white men....BUT....they happen to be the majority of cases, is why it's so sad. It's hard for white males to understand this because they sit at the apex of our society. It's really not an issue that they would likely want to change or explore. Seriously, do you guys realize the volume of WM-AF relationships compared to every other type of IRR? Why AF? Because they have a reputation, earned or otherwise, of being submissive. A lot of males, irregardless of race, are into this.
This post more or less feeds off of most negative stereotypes that people have about AW/WM relationships (i.e., white men like Asian women because they view them as "submissive," it's a subliminal carry-over of colonialism; Asian women go for white men because of self- or race-loathing, or a desire to marry "up").
Do you have anything other than your opinion or perception to back up your statement that the "majority" of Asian women who date white men are fraught with self-loathing?
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Ever go to Thailand and visit the go-go bars? A field of "big white american man" complex males drinking beer. Ever see one of those Latin American overseas dating and marriage tours? "Big White American Male" and fragile-lil' senorita in need of protection and validation of their self through a white partner.
Haven't been to Thailand.
Don't compare what a handful of losers have to spend money on to feel loved, to two American adults who meet through friends, at school or work, etc. and happen to be of different ancestries.
FTR, sex tourism and mail-order brides aren't a distinctly American phenomenon, they're quite popular with continental Europeans and mainland Chinese, as well.
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Yes but of what variety?
White Male/(fill in blank) female...
Reading through this thread and others, it's almost always in the line of "Seattle is great for interracial relationships. I'm white and my wife is Asian, and we have no problems" yada yada.
Does this truly reflect racial harmony and acceptance? I don't think so.
Again: what is Seattle's ethnic makeup? Markedly, predominantly white. You seem to want an even split of interracial couples, perhaps erring on fewer pairings involving white males due to issues of "colonialism." This is mathematically impossible predicated on the fact that the place is 66.3% non-hispanic whites. After that, it's 13.8% Asian, 7.9% black, 6.6% latino, .8% native, .4% Pacific Islander, 2.4% "other," and 5.1% mixed.
FWIW, When I lived in Seattle, my (Asian-American female) roommate, who was a friend from LA, noted more than once that we saw about as many, if not more Asian male/white woman couples in Seattle... oh, and I was born there to a mixed Asian-white father and a white mother... one of my best friends growing up had a Japanese-American dad and a white mom... yeah.
FWIW, I've seen plenty more <insert ethnicity> male / white female couples here than anywhere else in the country with the exception of black male / white female. That one is pretty ubiquitous, but the others, not so much.
For instance, this weekend thus far I've seen five asian male / white female couples and a few black male / asian female couples walking around. The females will pick what's available. If more white men are getting asian chicks, then more white females are going to go after other available options. It's simple supply and demand. What, you think the women will simply sit in their apartments and pet their cats and lament how there's no men around? Uh huh ... yeah ... right. Dream on.
FWIW, When I lived in Seattle, my (Asian-American female) roommate, who was a friend from LA, noted more than once that we saw about as many, if not more Asian male/white woman couples in Seattle...
This has been my experience too. Seattle is probably the only place I've seen at least as many Asian male/White female couples as vice/versa.
Yes but of what variety?
White Male/(fill in blank) female...
Actually you see more of white male/Asian female and black male/white female. You don't see as many white male/black female or black male/Asian female.
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Originally Posted by SlowBurn
Reading through this thread and others, it's almost always in the line of "Seattle is great for interracial relationships. I'm white and my wife is Asian, and we have no problems" yada yada.
That's because it's true. White male/Asian female couples are so common that they don't raise any eyebrows here.
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Originally Posted by SlowBurn
Does this truly reflect racial harmony and acceptance? I don't think so.
I think it does. I also think it is unfair to assume that a woman of color is with a white guy for validation. African Americans, for example, make up only 2% of the population of Washington state. It would be unfair to expect an African American woman to limit herself to potential suitors who fall within the 1% of the state's population made up of African American males or else she has some sort of personality flaw, especially when the black men up here don't hesitate to date a white woman.
Last edited by vandygirl; 09-06-2011 at 12:48 PM..
A black male here, and I haven't dated outside of my race before, but will probably do so when I get to Seattle in October.
Maybe not.
I don't know. Depends on the type of BW I meet when I get there. Then again, it could be argued that if I'm looking to meet BW, Seattle is not the place to be. Seattle/Washington state offers a lot that appeals to me, so not moving out there is not an option.
This thread has helped...
...to confuse me. This thread further proves that everything is a matter of perspective.
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No Problem
Seattle/Washington state offers a lot that appeals to me, so not moving out there is not an option. 
