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Chris -- the "raw deal" was one of the reasons we quit corporate life. Trading your time for wholesale wages doing something you don't care about while paying retail for survival just didn't make sense. Trading your time directly for your survival, so much more rewarding.
TMwNN: Honestly, "doing it all yourself" is relatively easy when you're single. Sure, there are chores that would be handy to have a second set of hands for; but it's not too difficult to pick up after yourself and keep things the way you want them. Even without children, things become much more difficult when there are two of you. Inevitably work, organization and cleaning styles will clash and tolerance levels for different things will collide. I don't necessarily agree with the pity party some (lazy, self-centered, pampered) women put on about how much work they have to do to manage a household, but I also know that managing even just a two-person household properly is not a complete cakewalk. Being responsible for washing the dishes and laundry when you are not the one dirtying most of them, or stepping over and around or having to clean up other people's "messes", and preparing meals for other people's preferences on their schedule not yours... it all adds up.
I've lived with other people.
I also have (much) younger siblings. (So even though I have not had kids... I've changed my share of diapers)
I have not noticed any such significant 'compound difficulty.'
But then, it may be helped by the fact that I am slightly OC.
After reading through several of the Grist's articles , I have come to the conclusion that the articles author attitudes has more to do more with the OP perspective than actual reality.
I re-read the linked article, and have to give some credence to her logic even if it's not always the case with every household.
Having spent 2 winters in a wall tent, and still not having a fully completed cabin, I completely understand the temptation to throw your hands up and declare "NOMWITTH". We hopefully won't have winter 3 in the tent, but if we did I'm sure we'd grumpily accept it. Actually, I would probably accept it better than DH... but I am so far from a typical female in most cases that I only count as part of the gender due to having XX chromosomes.
I don't have any sort of fond remembrances of suburbia, nor do I enjoy the social companionship most other women do. The thought of having to go back to the world is more unappealing than anything another winter off-grid can dish out... up to, and including death, since I'd likely kill myself living around all those people again. Sure, there are days when I daydream longingly about having a real kitchen counter that's large enough to prepare meals and level so things don't keep falling off, or running water, or a hot shower, or being able to just pop out to the store for something we need... but I simply don't have the luxury mindset that I can just go back to civilization whenever I want to get them, we have to make them here if we want them.
Regardless of how the chores get divided, I think most women are biologically predisposed to be more concerned with the quality, security and cleanliness of their hearth... it was, after all, their hearth skills that kept our cavewomen ancestors and their children fed and protected by attracting and keeping a male strong enough to hunt the meat and protect them. This female drive/desire to have a nice, comfortable, secure home (not necessarily a large, expensive one full of every convenience) is probably the hardest part for many to deal with when they go off-grid and are living in temporary shelter or half-finished buildings during construction. Since DIY construction off-grid can often take a lot longer than any of us ever plan, living in an incomplete or unfinished structure starts to cause most females a lot of internal stress a lot earlier than their male counterparts. Tolerance levels are lower to begin with, and the difficulty of doing basic household chores (regardless of who does them) just compounds the problem. Their bio-meter is telling them that this male can't provide them (and their brood) adequate food and shelter in this situation -- b'bye.
There are a lot of "manly" outdoor tasks that become equal drudgery as indoor chores. I think cutting, splitting, hauling and stacking endless cords of firewood gets right up there with washing dirty diapers after awhile. So as hauling trash, water and fuel rank with cleaning, laundry and cooking. But a male's bio-drive is to provide food and shelter, so he's not quite being asked to work against his drives as long as the hearth is reasonably/adequately comfortable, and he's getting fed.
I think the real problem with homesteaders is jumping into it with unrealistic expectations, and not being completely honest with themselves about their tolerances and abilities. Building a house together strains a marriage even when it's in or close to civilization, and even if they're hiring most of the work and are living in a nice place during the build... DIY home building in the boonies in temporary shelter without most conveniences is a veritable medieval rack. Not everyone is cut out for it, and not all marriages survive. The fact that it affects females first in most cases is simply that they are usually more tuned in to and affected by those sorts of domestic disturbances... plus they may be a little more prone to having big (unrealistic?) dreams and suffering frustration and disillusionment when they can't be actualized quickly.
The roles haven't changed for my hubby and I. We do the same things now as we did when we were on the grid. I have always done the housework and the cooking. The housework because I am picky about it and the cooking because I love it.
I do the laundry but he will hang the clothes out with me and fold them. We both do construction, building, land clearing, wood cutting, and pretty much anything that needs to be done. We are team with different strengths. I do my garden and the yard work. He does all of the maintenance on all the equipment and takes care of all of the solar stuff We would both rather spend all of our time outside.
I have always taken care of the gardens. Mostly because DH is pastel color blind; what looks green to me is brown to him, and he'll cut down something that's brown in a heartbeat.
Of course, he says that we're all wrong and he's the only right one... I tend to believe him; during thunderstorms when I see grey and black, he sees pinks and purples and blues... all without dropping any acid.
I have always taken care of the gardens. Mostly because DH is pastel color blind; what looks green to me is brown to him, and he'll cut down something that's brown in a heartbeat.
Of course, he says that we're all wrong and he's the only right one... I tend to believe him; during thunderstorms when I see grey and black, he sees pinks and purples and blues... all without dropping any acid.
I have to go and mark all of the blackberry bushes with surveyor tape so hubby doesn't rip them out with the tractor because he thinks they are briers.
LOL Granny - I totally get the color thing here, too.
Hubby and I agree: I take care of the living things and he takes care of the mechanical things... it just works out better for everyone and everything involved that way We can both do either when we need to, but we definitely know where our strengths and weaknesses lie.
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
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I love civilization. I lived out in a tent a coupla times for several months, one time at the tail end of winter with some relatively bad weather (high winds, snow, sleet, rain, temps down to about 15f sometimes. It sucked. I kept walking into town to buy liquor (got drunk every night to feel better) and to buy food (instead of hunting, which is a lot harder .... even though the deer would sometimes walk right into camp, it's a lot of work to butcher and preserve meat). I'm quite lazy, unfortunately - I could survive like that on a pretty small income, but don't want to. I like a nice sturdy shelter from the weather, completely controllable warmth, a refrigerator so I don't have to go shopping every day, a nice comfy bed - and flush toilets are terrific!
I might like living off the grid if I were very energetic, but I'm not and never have been.
I love civilization. I lived out in a tent a coupla times for several months, one time at the tail end of winter with some relatively bad weather (high winds, snow, sleet, rain, temps down to about 15f sometimes. It sucked. I kept walking into town to buy liquor (got drunk every night to feel better) and to buy food (instead of hunting, which is a lot harder .... even though the deer would sometimes walk right into camp, it's a lot of work to butcher and preserve meat). I'm quite lazy, unfortunately - I could survive like that on a pretty small income, but don't want to. I like a nice sturdy shelter from the weather, completely controllable warmth, a refrigerator so I don't have to go shopping every day, a nice comfy bed - and flush toilets are terrific!
I might like living off the grid if I were very energetic, but I'm not and never have been.
Composting toilets, Solar powered Chest freezers, Propane heat (As a covenant backup to wood... )
I'm going to try to do this, but I (Having ALSO lived 'out' for months on end) have NO intention of doing it long term. (Although I may (Or may buy a travel trailer) during construction.)
JMHO:
You can pay your power bill (As an example) one of 2 ways:
1. Monthly (Like most do)
2. Up front... and not deal with inflation over the years...
I love civilization. I like a nice sturdy shelter from the weather, completely controllable warmth, a refrigerator so I don't have to go shopping every day, a nice comfy bed - and flush toilets are terrific!
I might like living off the grid if I were very energetic, but I'm not and never have been.
Sounds like you were camping not living off grid.
What do you think living off grid is? For me it is making our own electric and not having to rely on anyone else for my electric. I live in a nice sturdy shelter probably better then most of my on grid counterparts, I have controllable warmth, a regular refrigerator, a comfy bed, and a flush toilet.
But yeah it took a lot of hard work to get it this way
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We would both rather spend all of our time outside.
