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Oh boy, I may be opening a hornet's nest here.....? !
Nobody else is quite the same...not a bf, a gf, a bff, not even a gay marriage. One's spouse is one's other half. Arguably, no one else in anyone's adult life can come close in terms of importance. The difficulty of a man and a woman learning to respect each other's differences, and getting on with life anyway, is an important component to a successful marriage.
I'd like to explore what self-sufficient people, and survivors/preppers find most important in a spouse. We've all heard the stories where one spouse gets into prepping, only to be ridiculed by the other, who thinks that is foolish. So I'd say that it's important for both to be on the same page when it comes to that. I'd also say that men tend to be the first to jump into this lifestyle, but not always.
Having been married for 42 years, my experience is that honesty, trust, emotional and physical support, an openness to discuss finances, respect for each other's feelings and opinions, are some of the things I value most in my wife. Love her cooking, too!
Are you / have you been married, and what are the qualities that make a husband or wife a real asset on a homestead, farm, ranch, retreat, or preparedness household?
About 5 years into our marriage, my wife started subscribing to magazines like Mother Earth News, and others whose names I can't remember...but all same flavor.
She and I would have long discussions from the things she was learning, and she had always had a desire to move back to the country (her family has a long history of farming) and becoming self-reliant.
At the time I could only listen and learn, because my career insisted I live in a metropolitan area. But I was always open minded, my own family had been in the pope wood business back in Va when I was a small child, and I still missed the woods and happiness that child hood had brought me.
Fast forward, and although our property is small, and we are close to a larger city, we are still rural enough to do a lot of things to keep ourselves self sufficent. Still working towards that goal...
But yes, we both share the same goals, although she initiated it. We save every penny we can, and are not into frivolous things. Thanks goodness she's not into knick knacs,
which to me is a total waste of money. Our home is free of bric-a-brac, and consequently dust too, which helps us get along. I bring this up because that would really annoy me.
We're the only couple we know who have lasted together through the years. All of our other friends have been divorced at least once.
We are very different from each other in some things, but in the things that really count, we are of the same mind. She wholeheartedly supported me throughout the rough times, and I the same. After 38 years, we are still very much in love.
edit: I will admit a weakness for antique cars and trucks.
Last edited by TerraDown; 01-24-2016 at 04:39 AM..
my wife is extra supportive, even to the extent of suggesting what I do or what I need to buy next.
she has an extensive knowledge of herbalism, agriculture(she was a herdswoman when younger) and a life long countrywoman.
I agree, if your significant other is not with you on prepping, then you've got a major problem on your hands before you even start.
My wife and I will have our silver anniversary this year.
We both come from farm stock, so it was never really a question. Our major point of contention has always been that she is obsessed with wanting to raise dogs as her stock to sell, but doesn't really want to let any go
We had to butcher one of our old bulls this year as he was so old his teeth were worn out and he couldn't get any benefit from his food. You can't buy dentures for a bull, so instead of letting him starve to death slowly, we decided to use the meat while we still could.
Intellectually, the wife could understand that, emotionally, it was a struggle for her. She loves the animals, which is good, but makes pets out of too many of them which isn't, and puts all the hard decisions like that on me, and doesn't just step back and let me do what is necessary, I have to go through the histrionic emotional displays.
Yeah, she gets over it and we move on, but it makes it harder than it needs to be.
I could just raise grain or crops I guess, but I like meat and handling the stock. We've gone through this over and over for a long time now, and it won't change. I don't think 2 people are ever not going to have at least one thing they don't agree on, so I don't expect this to change anytime in the next 50 years or so, but I like most of her other qualities, so, we'll keep raising stock with too many dogs, and crying for a week come butchering time.
Otherwise, she's completely on board with my self sufficiency, and takes great pride in our ability to provide for ourselves.
I don't think 2 people are ever not going to have at least one thing they don't agree on
Yep.
One of those with us is cooking. I love it. She wants her kitchen to herself. Now I have my own 'outdoor' kitchen (really an enclosed deck). She got upset when I "borrowed" some of her kitchen utensils, so I went on Amazon and bought myself an amazing assortment of what I figured I'd need.
Damn. She was out inspecting it all. Nothing is missing, yet. Meanwhile, breakfast is served every morning at 6 am from the deck griddle, and she approves! Ya gotta have a sense of humor about this stuff!
I have been married for more then 30 Years. When we first meet, I was the one that did the prepping, she just put up with it. But over the decades she has become more of a prepper then me. She understands how fragile this world is. Now she is the one that's pushing me to stock up on things.
I met my wife my first week in college. We were in a solid relationship for four years, then married three months after graduation. We had forty-two wonderful years of marriage until her death in October, 2005. I'm still madly in love with her and look forward to being with her again, this time forever. We were able to do everything together because we both worked out of our home. Our main survival interest was financial and we both had interests that fit perfectly. There was never any need for compromise because we never had any real difference of opinion.
Her family was more political than mine; she introduced me to the John Birch Society. Isn't that where it always began for people of our era?
We went shooting together; we went to museums together. We went to grocery stores together as well as bookstores.
She was utterly reliable. If I'd been named public enemy #1, she would have helped me escape; I would have done the same for her. I never kept anything from her and she kept nothing from me.
She wouldn't have cared to have breakfast at 6 A.M. Thank goodness!
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Ya gotta have a sense of humor about this stuff!
