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Old 05-17-2009, 06:13 PM
 
1,804 posts, read 6,385,796 times
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What the heck do I get a couple that is known casually through our kids via school as a wedding renewal of the vows gift? Picture frame? It's being held in the evening at a clubhouse. I'm assuming with food and semi formal? I don't know.

Always thought for a wedding you're supposed to give a gift valued at loosely the amount of your plate/meal. But what about renewing of the vows? Does the same rule apply?
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Old 05-17-2009, 11:39 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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You are invited to a renewal of vows to someone you barely know? That seems odd to me. Most of these that I have heard of are for family and close friends and they request that no gifts be given. The point of wedding gifts is to start a household. A renewal of vows is a celebration of the longevity of your love. Why would one need gifts? BTW I hate that supposed rule about giving a gift based on the estimated cost of your dinner. That is ridiculous. A gift is a gift and should be based on your circumstances and closeness to the bride and groom. And to speculate about the cost of a dinner you are a guest at is not proper.

ETA - if you feel you need to give a gift. I would think a bottle of sparkling wine would be nice. Another idea would be to make a donation to a charity in honor of the couple.
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Old 05-18-2009, 02:28 PM
 
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Thanks Maciesmom. It's one of those friendships that is by virtue of convenient circumstances. We talk during our kids games in the bleachers, have never really increased it to much more.

I was thinking the same thing in regards to a gift - as in for couples just beginning. I like the idea of a charity donation however.
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Old 05-18-2009, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA
593 posts, read 2,264,749 times
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I'd say it definitely depends on your relationship with the couple. But I actually like maciesmom's idea of sparkling wine. It is a nice, celebratory type of gift, and it is one of those gifts where it doesn't matter if someone else gets them the same thing. No way to lose!
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Old 05-19-2009, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Ocean Shores, WA
5,081 posts, read 13,186,042 times
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Just ignore the stupid non-event, save you money, and stay home and watch TV.
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Old 05-19-2009, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 20,608,306 times
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I must not get out much, so please tell me why you have to give a gift for a renewal of vows. I thought they would invite your because they like your company.
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Old 05-19-2009, 04:40 PM
 
Location: North Florida
414 posts, read 1,669,319 times
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I always bring a gift to an event; whether it's a first, second or third wedding, a vow renewal, etc. I also always spend what I can afford and an appropriate gift as to my relationship with the bride or groom. For instance, I went to the wedding of a high school girlfriend that I'm not particularly close with, but for whom I was happy for. I bought a gift under $20 because she and I hadn't shared much in the last 10 years.

I went to a wedding just this past Saturday for a couple friend. It was his third marriage and her second. They are both very close friends of ours and are beginning a new life together. We spent $75 on the bridal shower gifts and $50 on their wedding gift.

I went to my aunt's wedding two years ago. It was her third marriage and his second. They both owned homes and really didn't need anything else. We bought them a gift card to a home improvement store.

I went to my parents' 20-year anniversary/vow renewal this past March and my husband and I paid for a weekend getaway for them in Tybee Island. Cost about $500.

I honestly think you should always base your gift choice on your budget and your relationship with whomever is inviting you. I think in our economy today, and the lessons we all should be learning about budgeting, no one should be expected to spend a certain amount just because of some ettiquette that was set in place years ago. Just my opinion.

Last edited by crash330; 05-19-2009 at 04:41 PM.. Reason: grammar
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Old 05-19-2009, 09:13 PM
 
1,804 posts, read 6,385,796 times
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Thanks for the responses. I generally do bring gifts to events. I think I would feel strange not to. But really, SXM makes a point. It should be for my company. Just today, I was thinking that sometimes so many interactions with people take on a false type tone and true sincerity is rare.

I was at my kids sports event, and I could tell that one of the dads was in a round about way, wanting to ask me what I did for a living. Why does he care? Why must we judge based on appearances? I know the answers to this, I am guilty of the same type of behavior at times. If not actually doing it, then thinking it. But its still wrong in my opinion.

For a casual relationship, a couple my husband and I know through our kids, it really should be a casual gift.
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Old 05-21-2009, 09:12 AM
 
750 posts, read 1,284,750 times
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I'd get them a nice etiquette book.
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Old 05-21-2009, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Orlando
8,178 posts, read 16,762,255 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oldhousegirl View Post
Thanks for the responses. I generally do bring gifts to events. I think I would feel strange not to. But really, SXM makes a point. It should be for my company. Just today, I was thinking that sometimes so many interactions with people take on a false type tone and true sincerity is rare.

I was at my kids sports event, and I could tell that one of the dads was in a round about way, wanting to ask me what I did for a living. Why does he care? Why must we judge based on appearances? I know the answers to this, I am guilty of the same type of behavior at times. If not actually doing it, then thinking it. But its still wrong in my opinion.

For a casual relationship, a couple my husband and I know through our kids, it really should be a casual gift.

Do you know if they frequent certain restaurants? A gift card...in the amount you can afford...might be a nice touch.

I'm like you, even if no gifts are stated I usually pick up something.
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