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Another example is one day the kids were playing "spirits"--this was around Halloween. My son was carrying on a little bit and I let it go for one day, but the next day I firmly told him the only spirit is the Holy Spirit and the rest is nonsense. (Not to get into a religious discussion or a discussion on the existance of ghosts)....I have never heard another word about it.
But I know the other boy still plays "spirits"...and now I wonder, maybe he isn't just being overly imaginative, maybe he really believes in them? I agree that I think this boy thinks the probes are real. He was dead serious in accusing my son of having put them in his brain.
I also learned that at 9, he still can't read....and after the karate belt test, he came up to us again (are you noticing a pattern here where he's coming up to us a lot?) and I put up my hand for "five" and he just looked at me like he hadn't a clue in the world.
OK, I know we can't diagnose this kid on this forum....and I know I can only influence my son. We have been doing the role playing.
I don't want to say to my son oh he has such and such because 1) it's not my place to label the other boy and 2) I don't think my son needs to know the terminology. Just how to handle it. Like saying this boy "has trouble knowing how to be a friend" or "his imagination doesn't work like yours" might help my son understand him with saying something that can be repeated or used negatively.
The probe thing.... that MAY be a refernece to a game or movie, but alll ASDers I have known are very logical, analytical. They act out movies and games at inappropriate times, but none have accused of probes, thought implatations or being controled by another person. This behavior doesn't scream ASD to me.
Another example is one day the kids were playing "spirits"--this was around Halloween. My son was carrying on a little bit and I let it go for one day, but the next day I firmly told him the only spirit is the Holy Spirit and the rest is nonsense. (Not to get into a religious discussion or a discussion on the existance of ghosts)....I have never heard another word about it.
But I know the other boy still plays "spirits"...and now I wonder, maybe he isn't just being overly imaginative, maybe he really believes in them? I agree that I think this boy thinks the probes are real. He was dead serious in accusing my son of having put them in his brain.
You told your son not to play spirits. Has the other boy been told not to as well? If not, he has no reason to stop. But, he may very well believe it to be true.
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I also learned that at 9, he still can't read....
Not uncommon.
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and after the karate belt test, he came up to us again (are you noticing a pattern here where he's coming up to us a lot?) and I put up my hand for "five" and he just looked at me like he hadn't a clue in the world.
Social skills and social cues are a problem for many with Aspergers.
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OK, I know we can't diagnose this kid on this forum....and I know I can only influence my son. We have been doing the role playing.
I don't want to say to my son oh he has such and such because 1) it's not my place to label the other boy and 2) I don't think my son needs to know the terminology. Just how to handle it. Like saying this boy "has trouble knowing how to be a friend" or "his imagination doesn't work like yours" might help my son understand him with saying something that can be repeated or used negatively.
It is, ultimately, your decision as to how you want to handle it. However, I'd like to point out a couple of things.
You stated he has Aspergers so he has already been diagnosed, yes? If so, you wouldn't be labeling him, you'd be stating a fact.
The statements of "has trouble knowing how to be a friend" or "his imagination doesn't work like yours" would prompt some people to ask why. And "why" is a question kids ask often. I see this kind of behavior in children and wonder why. Of course, I'm 41 and I know I didn't cause it, so it isn't my fault. Kids don't have the benefit of age and experience, so it can stay with them and make them wonder what they did wrong. I don't know whether or not your son would be able to understand at his age and, again, it's your decision as to how to handle it, but would it hurt him to know the terminology or try to explain it? What would you say if he did ask for the whys of all this? I just think it is best to be prepared.
not saying this is (or should be) the boy's DX, but a quick internet search for childhood "thought control" kept bringing me to this as an option.
Childhood Schizophrenia typifies psychotic states with onset after the age of 7 years and with behavioural similarities to adult schizophrenia. Available evidence suggests that environmental stresses precipitate manifest illness with children of genetic predisposition. The prevalence of this disorder increases with age. Childhood schizophrenia forms a continuum with the adolescent and adult forms. It is characterised by withdrawal, apathy, flat affect, thought disorder (blocking and perseveration), ideas of reference, hallucinations and delusions and complaints of thought control. Diagnosis is based on descriptive clinical phenomena.
with all the misdiagnosis and the varying of ASD symptoms, I am not saying this child may not be ASD or there are no ASD children out there who have these kinds of delusions. But I have been around a few (more than 10) ASD children in my life, not one of them mentioned someone controlling their thoughts. The avoidance of people and the social awkwardness, yes, these kids had in spades, but they, quite honestly, did not care enough about other's wishes to accuse of thought control.
As to the 'mean' thing. The momma may be the defensive type and has inadvertently taught her child to believe that when things don't go his way, it is because someone is being 'mean' to him. Thus, to this boy, the reason he doesn't get his way is that people are 'mean' and not that the world is a big place and doesn't center on him and his wants.
I would just get your child to be mean to the boy with asperger's, it might hurt his feelings but he probably wont keep coming back to annoy him
This... really? Obviously you have never held a child who was hurt by someone purposely being mean. She seems to be one who wants to teach her child compassion. Sadly, there are too many children who have never been taught compassion.
My thoughts were that 1) either he has extreme imagination or complete lack of imagination (taking everything literally) as a result of the ASD
OR
2) There is a bigger problem than anyone knows of.
The key to me is how he keeps seeking out my son to accuse him of things. If my son were really being mean, would you keep going up to him to say things to him?
I am just puzzled because none of it makes sense (to me) and my curiosity is getting the better of me.
I still don't think telling my son a specific condition that the other boy does or doesn't have will help at all. We want to address the behavior...exact definitions are not needed, IMO.
My son was Dx'd ASD when he was 21/2. He is actually my step-son, but that doesn't come into play except I was not in his life until after the Dx. Anyway... the way we (his father and I) explained his 'kwerks' to him is that his brain didn't work like most people's and that sometimes it was harder for him (son) to read other people like his sister does (who is a social butterfly). We did not give his ASD a name until he was older. Maybe an approach like this will help your son.
It is okay to teach your son to politely refuse conversation. There is no reason he 'has' to try and befriend this boy. Something as simple as your son telling this boy "I'm sorry, I do not want to talk to you right now." should be sufficient. It may have to be repeated several different times to redirect this boy.
I would also keep the administrators/teachers in the loop so that if they sense some kind of tension between the boys, they will be aware of the situation.
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