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Old 03-07-2011, 08:00 AM
 
6 posts, read 18,513 times
Reputation: 11

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If you knew me it would make all the difference. You assume that I talk weird because Im from another country. You assume that I sit by myself because Im antisocial. You assume that I dont raise my hand in class because Im dumb. You assume that I dont participate in class groups because I choose not too.



If only you knew. Knew that I havent even left the country, yet alone been born there. Knew that if given the chance I would gladly sit by friends and talk during lunch. Knew that I would be happy to share what I knew, if only the teacher would understand me. Knew that the group ignores me and my ideas.



If only you knew that I have Apraxia.

If only you knew what it's like to talk. Talking is like breathing to you. You dont think about it, you just do it. You dont have to think about how your tongue, lips, jaw, and voice are just to make a simple sound, yet alone a pharse or sentence, or even a page from a book. If only you knew what goes though my head when I have to talk. Would you understand me? Would you ask me questions? Would you ask what country Im from? Would you question why I talk like this? Would you mock me? Would you think something's wrong with me?







Im considering changing "You dont have to think about how your tongue, lips, jaw, and voice are just to make a simple sound, yet alone a pharse or sentence, or even a page from a book" to "You dont have to think about how your tongue, lips, jaw, and voice are just to make a simple sound, yet alone a pharse or sentence, or even a conversation." Or maybe I can do both, something like "You dont have to think about how your tongue, lips, jaw, and voice are just to make a simple sound, yet alone a pharse or sentence, or even a page from a book in class or having a conversation with family." Or something like that.



When I was rereading the poem I noticed that I didnt mean to put question, I meant to put ask. But as I read it, I thought it sound can of cool "Would you question why I talk like this?" as compared to "Would you ask (me) why I talk like this?" Should I add the me or no? Question or Ask? And should I change "Would you ask what country Im from?" from Ask to Question or no? Ideas? Also, should I change "If only you knew that I have Apraxia" to the very end of the poem so that its the last line?


So what do you guys think? Comments? Questions? Ideas? Suggestions? etc. Please tell me everything so that I can improve. Grammar/Speeling mistakes. Parts that arent very clear. Should I add something or remove something? Anything you say would be very helpful. Im a 16 year old with Apraxia, and still recieving speech therapy for it, and this is my first time writing something about Apraxia. Thanks.
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Old 03-16-2011, 08:43 PM
 
48 posts, read 105,687 times
Reputation: 90
I think your poem is perfect the way it is and expresses the struggle you face very poignantly. It brings tears to my eyes...
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