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Old 10-24-2007, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 14,003,562 times
Reputation: 1286

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My son who has mild Asperger's has been in TaeKwondo for about a year (with breaks to see his dad for the summer and holidays etc)

And we just don't see any improvement. We know that this sport is suppose to be one of the good ones for his condition but he can not SHUT UP and stop talking for two seconds. This sport is one of those that is suppose to teach self control etc...and he's in the little kiddie version - not even the regular classes, because his teacher, me & his step dad and HIM all feel like he could not handle the regular class (where he doesn't get the one on one attention and structure)

We are really thinking of pulling him out. He's getting nothing from this - he's not excited to go to class (although he does go, it's not like him not completing what he started)

When he gets s direction he just is in his own head and not listening or too distracted by what HE wants to talk about...he's utterly disruptive to the rest of the kids

AND here's the kicker - you can SEE how tired of him the instructors are...they look exasperated with him there. And I feel awful as a parent. Plus I have to get up and leave because it takes all my energy not to try and parent from the sidelines cuz I can see a problem arising beore they ever do...

It's just gotten exhausting for all involved

But then WHAT do we put him into? My husband thinks Art, since that's what he loves right now - to create.
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Old 10-24-2007, 04:50 PM
 
17 posts, read 105,429 times
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citygirl72,

i can sense your frustration, i've been there before myself. i dont know your son's capabilities or age, but is it possible to get some feedback from him as to the activities he'll be involved in? i think our kids are capable and perceptive and sometimes they feed off of our frustration. try to relax and regroup.

i'm a firm believer that if someone/teacher/principal/parent does not want to be around my child...then i don't want my child around that person either.
if those instructors are obviously irritated with your son, i say get him out of that program. if they are not going to be beneficial in a positive manner, then what is the point of him going. to the extent possible, i don't allow my kids around negative energy (people who just dont want to be bothered) i'm sure there are many other programs out there that are better suited for your son.
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Old 10-24-2007, 05:45 PM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,354 posts, read 6,053,684 times
Reputation: 1332
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I know that many people just are not equipped to handle kids that are different. We have had that problem with people who interact with my daughter. Maybe he can try something different. We were having a hard time finding fun activities for my daughter. We heard about geocaching and letterboxing, and soon took up letterboxing. These are treasure hunting type games, check them out at:
Letterboxing North America
Geocaching - The Official Global GPS Cache Hunt Site
Atlas Quest: International Letterboxing

I know most kids with Asperger's are very intelligent. I started a thread on a letterboxing site about autistic kids and letterboxing. Many parents responded that their Asperger's kids LOVED letterboxing, it was a challenge and made their minds work, which the kids loved. Plus it gets them and the whole family outside, its basically free, and fun.
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Old 10-24-2007, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 14,003,562 times
Reputation: 1286
I have never heard of lettterboxing or geocaching but it sounds RIGHT up his alley - and you are right he's very very smart - he's been tested at school and he's in first grade doing fourth grade level work in both reading and math.

He's 6. Everyone tells me he needs to be more challenged

Oh and we are from Sacramento! (live in Seattle now) but we are around there often, maybe we'll run into some log books with your stamp??! You never know

Last edited by CityGirl72; 10-24-2007 at 07:14 PM..
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:25 AM
 
Location: coos bay oregon
2,096 posts, read 8,602,951 times
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are private lessons an option at all? I know they can be expensive...
im on both sides of the fence here. I teach gymnastics and I have kids of my own w/some challenges. So I see both sides as a mom, and as an instructor. Please dont be too tough on the instructor. It can be quite difficult to hold a class togeather if you've got a batch of kids, and one is taking up most of your attention. Its not fair to the other children, and rather then a whole lesson, your focused on trying to keep one kid in line and stay creative enough to not only keep their interest, but the other kids too. You know how kids can go, when you lose one's attention, its really hard to keep the other kids! Plus, keep in mind, if thats happening, the coach is probably getting flak from the other parents about it too. Its a hard boat.
As a parent though, you want your kid to have each and every opportunity that the other kids do. And youve tried different accomidations (ie, a younger class) Im sure you also want your son to do something physical. Have you tried gymnastics? We've made some great strides w/my son. Kept him in a very small class (only 2 other boys!) and the coach did most of the running/jumping/very fast, active stuff first and then also inbetween. If the boy wasnt working w/him on a skill, he was doing drills on the side. so he was learning, improving, and NOT being a distruption, which was a TOTAL blessing!!!
anyhow, just some thoughts.....
Tiffany
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Old 10-25-2007, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 14,003,562 times
Reputation: 1286
Good Ideas - I have thought about tennis - but my husband thinks he'd just talk his way through that too. I still like the idea though. Someone at work suggested Acting Classes for kids - and I think my son would really like that too

There are only 2 or 3 kids total in the kiddy TaeKwondo class, all the kids that are my son's age have easily graduated to the regular class. Luckily none of the parents of the smaller kids see my son as a disturbance - we all get along nicely, and they see us trying.
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Old 10-25-2007, 01:26 PM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,354 posts, read 6,053,684 times
Reputation: 1332
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72 View Post
I have never heard of lettterboxing or geocaching but it sounds RIGHT up his alley - and you are right he's very very smart - he's been tested at school and he's in first grade doing fourth grade level work in both reading and math.

He's 6. Everyone tells me he needs to be more challenged

Oh and we are from Sacramento! (live in Seattle now) but we are around there often, maybe we'll run into some log books with your stamp??! You never know
We are from Sac too. We have hidden some letterboxes throughout Northeastern Calif, close to our home. Seattle has a good amount of letterboxes also. I bet your son would love it.
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Old 10-27-2007, 03:20 PM
 
6,578 posts, read 24,048,600 times
Reputation: 3223
My son (ADHD, dyslexia) was kicked out after 3 karate classses when he was 6. The teacher just told me my son was obviously not interested and there was no reason for him to be in the class so goodbye. No refund even and I paid for 4 months. My son was so happy to be done with it.

It's not the cure-all everyone says it is.
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Old 10-28-2007, 04:52 PM
 
6,764 posts, read 20,944,542 times
Reputation: 4742
Our son was in karate for awhile but the class was boring for him. He did not have the body control or interest to go beyond purple belt.

Keep looking for something else.
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Old 11-06-2007, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Oregon
246 posts, read 1,019,293 times
Reputation: 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72 View Post
My son who has mild Asperger's has been in TaeKwondo for about a year (with breaks to see his dad for the summer and holidays etc)

And we just don't see any improvement. We know that this sport is suppose to be one of the good ones for his condition but he can not SHUT UP and stop talking for two seconds. This sport is one of those that is suppose to teach self control etc...and he's in the little kiddie version - not even the regular classes, because his teacher, me & his step dad and HIM all feel like he could not handle the regular class (where he doesn't get the one on one attention and structure)

We are really thinking of pulling him out. He's getting nothing from this - he's not excited to go to class (although he does go, it's not like him not completing what he started)

When he gets s direction he just is in his own head and not listening or too distracted by what HE wants to talk about...he's utterly disruptive to the rest of the kids

AND here's the kicker - you can SEE how tired of him the instructors are...they look exasperated with him there. And I feel awful as a parent. Plus I have to get up and leave because it takes all my energy not to try and parent from the sidelines cuz I can see a problem arising beore they ever do...

It's just gotten exhausting for all involved

But then WHAT do we put him into? My husband thinks Art, since that's what he loves right now - to create.

Please don't give up! You may need to find another martial arts program for him to find a teacher who can handle him, but hang in there! We were just exposed to the idea that our son may have Asperger's yesterday and now I'm convinced this is the problem. We put him in karate about four months ago for the structure and discipline...same reasons as you. We've seen some good gains and his instructor is very proud of him, even though people who don't see him on a daily basis would argue otherwise. Plus it gives him something to be proud of! Find an instructor you can sit down with and explain his behaviors and be certain the instructor is up for the challenge. It'll be well worth it. I promise!
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