Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
(I suspect my daughter may have autism. We are trying to have her seen by someone for a diagnosis.)
How can I keep my daughter engaged in some before dinner/after dinner activity? She has no interest in anything except bothering us.
I have found the following items seem to keep her interest, but we only have so much of it:
1) Dreambox educational learning game, but we would prefer she only play this now and then and not for hours.
2) Legos. She enjoys following step by step instructions to build a particular lego set once, but doesn't show interest in building it a second time. She is not interested in lego free play. We appreciate that she likes legos, but only have so much budget for lego kits.
3) Rubrics cube. She received a Rubics cube as a gift, and solved it once. I rescrambled it a second time and she spent some time on it but gave up when she couldn't figure out how to solve the middle.
What are other types of things that we can use to keep her self-entertained? We are desperate to find something because she doesn't engage in play on our own and pesters us instead.
I think pestering at that age is normal, especially if she is an only child and/ or you guys work all day so she doesn;t have much time with you. A few suggestions:
- On lego: - check with your local library, ours loans some games too. Or, instead of pure free play, download builds from the web or draw something with her, that she can then build alone.
- Try other online learning games, such as ABC Mouse. Yes, screen time should be limited, but an hour while you make dinner is not too much
- Instead of her pestering you, have her help you; chop softer vegetables, wash up, toss a salad...
- Does she like arts and crafts? Many of those can also help with fine motor skills....
(I suspect my daughter may have autism. We are trying to have her seen by someone for a diagnosis.)
How can I keep my daughter engaged in some before dinner/after dinner activity? She has no interest in anything except bothering us.
I have found the following items seem to keep her interest, but we only have so much of it:
1) Dreambox educational learning game, but we would prefer she only play this now and then and not for hours.
2) Legos. She enjoys following step by step instructions to build a particular lego set once, but doesn't show interest in building it a second time. She is not interested in lego free play. We appreciate that she likes legos, but only have so much budget for lego kits.
3) Rubrics cube. She received a Rubics cube as a gift, and solved it once. I rescrambled it a second time and she spent some time on it but gave up when she couldn't figure out how to solve the middle.
What are other types of things that we can use to keep her self-entertained? We are desperate to find something because she doesn't engage in play on our own and pesters us instead.
Has it occurred to you that she loves you and missed you all day and just wants to near and talk to her Mom & Dad?
Have her help with the cooking. It is amazing what a five year old can do, from setting the table, to helping with making the meal, tossing a salad, getting the salad dressing out of the refrigerator, etc.
Or, give her 15 minutes of complete, undivided attention when you first get home and then start your cooking & other activities. Often that will help with a child who may be feeling neglected.
Arts & crafts & Play Dough often work well at that age.
Has she ever "not engaged in play on her own" or is this new?
Has it occurred to you that she loves you and missed you all day and just wants to near and talk to her Mom & Dad?
She doesn't talk to mom and dad. That's the problem. She sings made up songs at the top of her longs, she makes clicking noises, she talks in gibberish. You can't talk with her at home because she doesn't engage in 2 way conversation.
Quote:
Have her help with the cooking. It is amazing what a five year old can do, from setting the table, to helping with making the meal, tossing a salad, getting the salad dressing out of the refrigerator, etc.
We've tried that. Two nights ago she had a complete meltdown because we asked her to put a plate on the table. Crying, lying on the floor, etc. Went on for 10-15 minutes before she finally calmed down.
Quote:
Has she ever "not engaged in play on her own" or is this new?
She has never engaged in play at home. This is not new, but as she gets older, we need her to start.
She doesn't talk to mom and dad. That's the problem. She sings made up songs at the top of her longs, she makes clicking noises, she talks in gibberish. You can't talk with her at home because she doesn't engage in 2 way conversation.
We've tried that. Two nights ago she had a complete meltdown because we asked her to put a plate on the table. Crying, lying on the floor, etc. Went on for 10-15 minutes before she finally calmed down.
How is her receptive language? Does she understand what you are asking? Can she follow instructions at any time? If you ask her to get her shoes on to go outside and play, will she do it? If not, you need to get her in speech therapy for sure. You can start with videos, btw. Baby Babble is a good one even though she is older. The BabyBumbleBee videos work on receptive vocabulary and my grandson learned to read the words as sight words before he learned to hear them or speak them.
She has never engaged in play at home. This is not new, but as she gets older, we need her to start.
This is not going to happen until you get her into appropriate therapy.
Does she go to school? Does she have an IEP? Does she get any ABA therapy to teach her how to engage? Learning to play with toys does not happen for many autistic children without some coaching and a good ABA therapist can provide that.
Does your daughter have a diagnosis? As other posters have suggested, her behavior does sound as if autism is a strong possibility, but there are others. Has her hearing been tested? Has she been evaluated by a speech therapist?
Despite her inability to speak plainly, she IS communicating, and she sounds as if she is extremely frustrated. Behavior is part of communication, and she does seem to have some receptive speech ability, although she reacts poorly to requests, from what you write. Have you tried creating simple little picture books for her, outlining her daily routine and using either photos or pictures either drawn or cut from magazines or printed off the Internet? Here's an example (you can vary the details to fit your family's situation, of course):
"When Bella and Mommy and Daddy Come Home" (she is "Bella", for this example).
"It's time to come home! Bella says goodbye to her teacher and school friends (or daycare friends). Mommy leaves work and picks Bella up. They go home. "How was your day"?, says Mommy.
Daddy is already home. He has worked hard and is happy to see Mommy and Bella. He gives them big hugs.
Bella plays in her room. She plays with her dolls. Then she looks at her books. She has fun! Daddy plays with her (or Mommy, or Bella plays by herself).
Mommy and Daddy fix dinner. Everyone is hungry. Mommy sets the table. Bella can help! Bella puts the napkins on the table. Daddy fixes spaghetti - yum, yum! (or whatever "Bella's" favorite dish is).
Dinner is ready! Bella hears the dinner bell (start using a small bell to signal dinner, and let "Bella" ring it sometimes). Everyone sits at the table. They put their napkins in their laps. Mommy says grace (if this is a part of the routine). Daddy passes the spaghetti. Mommy helps Bella get some. There is good garlic bread, too. What a good dinner!
Dinner is over. Time to clear the table! Everyone helps. Mommy and Daddy put the dishes in the dishwasher.
Now it's time for fun! Bella and Mommy and Daddy can play games (or color, or play dolls, or whatever activity is fun).
Time to get ready for bed! Bella takes a bath and brushes her teeth. Then she puts on her pajamas. Daddy will read her a story. Bella finds her Teddy bear and gets in bed. Come read me a story, Daddy, says Bella.
Daddy reads Bella a good story. Then Daddy and Mommy kiss Bella good-night. Go to sleep, Bella! See you in the morning!"
You can do this for all sorts of activities: going to day-care or nursery school, visiting Grandma, going to the playground, going to the grocery store, etc. - whatever is typical of "Bella's" daily activities. When you read her the stories, make a big deal of "This is a story about YOU!! Look, there's your picture!"
This is deliberately written on a much lower level than would be appropriate for a typically-communicating five or six year old child, since "Bella" has communication and behavioral issues. It will be necessary to meet her where she is in order to help her make progress, hence this approach.
Good luck in helping your daughter.
Friends of mine have a high-functioning six year old with Down syndrome and Asperger's. Using books of this kind has been tremendously helpful for her in reinforcing daily routines and expectations, and of course, she loves "reading" about herself.
Has she ever "not engaged in play on her own" or is this new?
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiredtired
She has never engaged in play at home. This is not new, but as she gets older, we need her to start.
If she is at the level that she have never learned how to play independently she will need to be taught. Often, children have not learned to play by age 5 do not just "pick it up on their own". They usually need to be taught, step by step, what to do. For a few children, especially children with autism, it can be a lengthy and intensive procedure, sometimes taking many months to learn one or two simple independent play activities.
Did she attended preschool? How were her social, communication, and independent play skills there?
Is she in a regular kindergarten class? If yes, what are her skills at school?
Did she scream and cry and sing songs at the top of her lungs at school? Does she engage in two way conversations at other times, just not after school around meal time?
How soon will she be able to be assessed?
Good luck.
Last edited by germaine2626; 10-30-2016 at 03:01 PM..
Does your daughter have a diagnosis? As other posters have suggested, her behavior does sound as if autism is a strong possibility, but there are others. Has her hearing been tested? Has she been evaluated by a speech therapist?
Despite her inability to speak plainly, she IS communicating, and she sounds as if she is extremely frustrated. Behavior is part of communication, and she does seem to have some receptive speech ability, although she reacts poorly to requests, from what you write. Have you tried creating simple little picture books for her, outlining her daily routine and using either photos or pictures either drawn or cut from magazines or printed off the Internet? Here's an example (you can vary the details to fit your family's situation, of course):
"When Bella and Mommy and Daddy Come Home" (she is "Bella", for this example).
"It's time to come home! Bella says goodbye to her teacher and school friends (or daycare friends). Mommy leaves work and picks Bella up. They go home. "How was your day"?, says Mommy.
Daddy is already home. He has worked hard and is happy to see Mommy and Bella. He gives them big hugs.
Bella plays in her room. She plays with her dolls. Then she looks at her books. She has fun! Daddy plays with her (or Mommy, or Bella plays by herself).
Mommy and Daddy fix dinner. Everyone is hungry. Mommy sets the table. Bella can help! Bella puts the napkins on the table. Daddy fixes spaghetti - yum, yum! (or whatever "Bella's" favorite dish is).
Dinner is ready! Bella hears the dinner bell (start using a small bell to signal dinner, and let "Bella" ring it sometimes). Everyone sits at the table. They put their napkins in their laps. Mommy says grace (if this is a part of the routine). Daddy passes the spaghetti. Mommy helps Bella get some. There is good garlic bread, too. What a good dinner!
Dinner is over. Time to clear the table! Everyone helps. Mommy and Daddy put the dishes in the dishwasher.
Now it's time for fun! Bella and Mommy and Daddy can play games (or color, or play dolls, or whatever activity is fun).
Time to get ready for bed! Bella takes a bath and brushes her teeth. Then she puts on her pajamas. Daddy will read her a story. Bella finds her Teddy bear and gets in bed. Come read me a story, Daddy, says Bella.
Daddy reads Bella a good story. Then Daddy and Mommy kiss Bella good-night. Go to sleep, Bella! See you in the morning!"
You can do this for all sorts of activities: going to day-care or nursery school, visiting Grandma, going to the playground, going to the grocery store, etc. - whatever is typical of "Bella's" daily activities. When you read her the stories, make a big deal of "This is a story about YOU!! Look, there's your picture!"
This is deliberately written on a much lower level than would be appropriate for a typically-communicating five or six year old child, since "Bella" has communication and behavioral issues. It will be necessary to meet her where she is in order to help her make progress, hence this approach.
Good luck in helping your daughter.
Friends of mine have a high-functioning six year old with Down syndrome and Asperger's. Using books of this kind has been tremendously helpful for her in reinforcing daily routines and expectations, and of course, she loves "reading" about herself.
Picture stories/social stories can be very, very effective in helping teach routines to young children, especially some children with autism.
She doesn't talk to mom and dad. That's the problem. She sings made up songs at the top of her longs, she makes clicking noises, she talks in gibberish. You can't talk with her at home because she doesn't engage in 2 way conversation..
You'll need a speech therapist to try and teach her to talk.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiredtired
We've tried that. Two nights ago she had a complete meltdown because we asked her to put a plate on the table. Crying, lying on the floor, etc. Went on for 10-15 minutes before she finally calmed down.
You'll need an ABA therapist to try and teach her to cope.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiredtired
She has never engaged in play at home. This is not new, but as she gets older, we need her to start.
Again, an ABA therapist can try and teach her to play. I'd hire an ABA therapist to come over before dinner every day (or as often as possible) and give therapy.
You say she's 5, and you're only now suspecting Autism. What was she like at 2? Or 3? Was she normal before, but regressed? Was she always behind? Has she had any therapy yet?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
