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We attend a private school, so I guess the resources available are not the same as in public.
Anyways the school called us today to tell me that my son cannot come back to school until our upcoming CSE meeting takes place. I guess during the meeting they will evaluate if this is the right school for him because the district cannot afford the type of services he may be able to get in public. The school mentioned the safety issue with him running out, and the exploding on his speech teacher today.
It eluded to basically a 1:1 (I guess in public school) which we already know we do not want my son to have. He had one last year and it just did not work. She was a shadow to him and he got very angry and bitter towards the end.
It is just so saddening and I am just at a lost on how to even help him next. I completely understand the safety issue and how him exploding at a teacher is not OK at all.
But how do I explain to him... hey you don't have school for rest of the week for doing these things? He is going to love to hear that because the whole battle right now is him not wanting to go to school. So because he did bad behaviors, he gets no school for it. Great reinforcement.
The school did say that the teacher has told them he really does well in class. It's when he gets services (mainly speech and PT pull outs) where he starts getting very agitated.
I tried to talk to him again tonight when he was calm and he told me 3 things he hates about school. 1) Speech and PT, 2) riding the bus home, 3) He gets tired towards the middle-end of day from doing work
But he also told me that he is frustrated but can't tell me why. He just feels it.
So what would be the right services for him? Honestly speech wise he speaks fine but can have problems with pragmatics. But his words are clear. All his speech teachers have told us that in the past. For PT, he only qualified for 1x a week but in K they gave him 2 by accident and when they found out, they said let's just stick with 2.
Behaviors... yes he definitely needs help in learning to express his feelings and also how to react in times of frustration and anger. Right now all he knows how to do is scream, yell, hit and be very very angry when cornered in a difficult situation.
Whether we continue at this school or have to move back to public I still want to make sure I have the right services for him.
This past summer we had no issues at 2 different camps. In fact one was a camp with field trips every day and he stayed with the group at all times. But of course a completely different setting. He was playing, happy, no demands.
And my worry about public is forcing him to learn in the 1 box fits all. Academically here, the teacher has told us that she can try 2nd or 3rd grade work with him because he seems ready. And if he's not we go back. So a lot of flexibility. He learned to read himself when he was 3. Can give you directions like a GPS. If he goes back to public school, he will be forced to learn stuff he probably already knows. I feel like it is such a lose lose situation for us right now.
I've cried so much already I can't even cry anymore.
It is very difficult to be the parent of a child with special needs. First, of all I would tell him that he is not going to school until a plan can be worked out to keep him safe. Perhaps, give the example of if he ran into the middle of the street when he was shopping with you. You would not take him shopping again until you worked out a plan to keep him from getting injured (because you love him and want to keep him safe). If you explain it that way it isn't like he learned "If I throw a major tantrum I get suspended from school and get to stay home".
Over the years I have worked with dozens of students with one to one aides. It is possible that the aide assigned to him was not a good fit or hovered over him too much or for some other reason it did not work out. The next one to one aide experience may be completely different.
I strongly disagree that he "will be forced to learn stuff he probably already knows" in a public school. The public schools that I have taught in have been able to provide far more individualized academic instruction to students than many private schools. It is very common for classes to have five or six different reading groups or to have students to join another higher grade class for math or reading or other subjects.
In my area it is very common for the local schools to have special behavioral classes and/or instruction in appropriate behavior from the early childhood level to the HS level (for children that need it). My former district had special programs just for students who were on the high end of the autism spectrum. It was absolutely amazing the difference that it made for the students.
Also, in a public school there will be so many children coming and going from the classroom, for special reading, special math, advanced reading, advanced math, speech, OT, PT, etc. etc. that your son should not feel that he is just the only one leaving the room.
I just reread your first post and I believe that you said that your son was out of school for a full month. Frankly, it may take a full month for him to get back to his normal behavior after that major disruption in routine.
Good luck.
BTW, as you know, it is not unusual for a child on the autism spectrum to have advanced skills in some areas (such as reading) and severely delayed skills in other areas such as self-help skills, social skills or behavior.
One of my most dramatic examples was a student who I assessed for placement in my early childhood special needs classroom. He had just turned four years old and was reading at the fourth grade level but could not take off his own hat, mittens or coat. Heck, you can hardly even keep mittens on most toddlers, but this four year old truly, truly had absolutely no idea how to take off or put on his own outerwear or other clothes (his parents were never able to teach it to him so they just dressed and undressed him).
By using written step by step instructions, and guided practice, he was able to learn how to take off and put on his outerwear in a matter of days. He also blossomed by using story scripts (social stories) and skill streaming instruction to work on his behavior and social skills (he had gotten kicked out of so many preschools and day care centers that his father had to quit work to stay home with him).
Perhaps I can give our current school district a call to ask what options they have for children with IEP. Our old district was a bit limited. They did have an integrated class, but I was told my son would not qualify because academically he did not qualify, so all they could give was a 1:1.
It's just tough to keep moving him from school to school. He has finally bonded with friends here, his teachers are supportive, but the behaviors now may be too much. If they let us stay, I was thinking there is no guarantee this may not happen again. We have 2 more breaks coming up.
If we get therapy privately what would be recommended? ABA, or a psychologist? The behavioral therapist provided from the school has told us we need a psychologist to see if we can kinda unlock what is going on in his mind to cause these blow ups right now. Get to the root cause.
Anyone know if antibiotics (he is on day 18 of antibiotics ) or steroid nebulizer treatments affect behavior?
As a parent with a 17 year old who has btdt, I think you should look at the logical link between his 'behavior' and what he is asking for. If he does not want the services and by all observations from his teachers does not need them, why push for it? Rather than remove them entirely, ask for a break from them. Tell him he can go to class and if everything goes well, that will tell you what you need to know. They can also offer their services in class ('push in, I think it's called').
My daughter's elementary school pushed services on her so much she hated it. The more she reacted negatively, the more they pushed up until the point they wanted her totally isolated in a self-contained classroom. All she wanted was to be treated like a normal kid. She begged not to be excluded from her class. Rather than see her behavior as a communication that what they were doing was wrong, they dug in. It ruined her chances of ever succeeding in a school setting. I had to home school her from then out. If you really have concerns re:slp and OT you can always do them after school privately a few days a week.
To answer your other questions Yes, steriods drove my daughter nuts. Had to be very careful giving them as she had breathing issues. Two, the book the Explosive Child is amazing and changed our lives. Highly reccommend it.
I'm also wondering why there is a speech-language pathologist emphasizing this student "making a /th/ sound" if the student is exhibiting no articulation issues and it is the opinion of the family and the educator that these types of speech services aren't needed.
Most SLPs I've worked with are VERY overbooked, and aren't going to push to keep service minutes with students if they aren't needed.
The number of service minutes students are to receive are set in the IEP (in all IEPs I ever wrote, they were listed by weekly required service minutes, so no stockpiling them and having to do hours of pull-out therapy at the end of the term to get them all in, which nobody wants to do anyway), and a provider can't just elect to give a student a break from them, because then the therapist is then out of compliance with what's legally binding in the IEP. But unless services are adjusted in the IEP, the therapist, legally, can't just choose not to provide the therapy minutes.
I'm also wondering why there is a speech-language pathologist emphasizing this student "making a /th/ sound" if the student is exhibiting no articulation issues and it is the opinion of the family and the educator that these types of speech services aren't needed.
Most SLPs I've worked with are VERY overbooked, and aren't going to push to keep service minutes with students if they aren't needed.
The number of service minutes students are to receive are set in the IEP (in all IEPs I ever wrote, they were listed by weekly required service minutes, so no stockpiling them and having to do hours of pull-out therapy at the end of the term to get them all in, which nobody wants to do anyway), and a provider can't just elect to give a student a break from them, because then the therapist is then out of compliance with what's legally binding in the IEP. But unless services are adjusted in the IEP, the therapist, legally, can't just choose not to provide the therapy minutes.
I was wondering the same things. I was also wondering why the speech therapist was not working on social interaction skills and appropriate behavior when dealing with changes/problems/etc. I wonder who is listed as handling that instruction in his IEP.
I was wondering the same things. I was also wondering why the speech therapist was not working on social interaction skills and appropriate behavior when dealing with changes/problems/etc. I wonder who is listed as handling that instruction in his IEP.
We had the CSE meeting and we decided to drop PT and Speech and go private if he really needs it. The PT said he's been doing very well. Speech kept saying he needs pragmatics, but unfortunately since he is in a private school, they do not have kids to do group speech. So I guess that's why she has been doing pull outs doing articulation and making him watch videos about behaviors which has been not sitting well with my son. Perhaps I can look into a social skills group.
They increased a behavioral consult to 60 min 1x a week. Our current one hasn't sent the teacher any notes and meeting minutes, so I need to start asking for those. I need to ask for a behavior plan on how to deal with his melt downs in the morning of not wanting to come to school.
We saw a psychologist (just the parents) to try and explain what we need help with (that he hasn't been the same since after winter break. Wants to move, not want to go to school etc). We didn't say much but once he heard "ASD" he immediately said it's a behavior problem and we need ABA. But we have been told in a CSE meeting that he does not need ABA because that is more one to one instructions and not what he needs.
So I would really like to get him extra help outside of school and do not know who is the best person to help. He is bottling up feelings, getting frustrated and doesn't know how to react to the frustration.
So do I just try to find a psychologist that is compassionate enough to want to try and talk to him to get his feelings out and guide him on how to handle them? Would ABA still be appropriate to teach him how to handle frustrating situations? But how does he get taught if the therapist is not right there at that moment to guide him thru?
Two, the book the Explosive Child is amazing and changed our lives. Highly reccommend it.
I am reading the book now... 1/3 through and it seems to help us understand our son more. I just can't get my husband to read it and I feel it is not as effective is I just tell him about it .
(snip) the book the Explosive Child is amazing and changed our lives. Highly reccommend it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainingblue
I am reading the book now... 1/3 through and it seems to help us understand our son more. I just can't get my husband to read it and I feel it is not as effective is I just tell him about it .
Hmmm, is it just that book that Hubby is not interested in reading or does he not think that your son has any problems at all or that your son should be able to solve his behavioral difficulties on his own?
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) or steroid nebulizer treatments affect behavior?
