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And technically he is until the attorney/judge gets off their a$$es and gets the legal guardianship process rolling.
Patrick is 18 and if you know him, he is clearly incapable of making decisions for himself. A few months ago, one of his special needs teachers stated in his IEP that he needed to continue working on his communication skills. He read this. And he's had a bug up his butt about it for months with no ability to understand that he needs to work on his communication skills. He believed he no longer needs school/Voc-rehab and he was ready to take on the world. And he's just not.
Just yesterday, a neighbor told us that a year or so ago, he was walking down the street and they spoke (not being familiar with each other in the least) and he blurted out that he had an unusually high sex drive. Seriously. Does this sound like a young man that understands the nuances of communication? He doesn't even understand what a sex drive is.
<long and loud sigh>
Out of school for the summer, he didn't have much to do. His mostly absent, disconnected, but otherwise "seemingly" decent-guy dad lost a close relative and it came up that Patrick could stay with his dad for a week or two and work at their old-school, family-owned hardware store in Jacksonville, Florida. It was a surprise to us as he had lived with his GF for years and mostly denied opportunities to see either of his kids EVEN WHEN WE OFFERED TO DROP THEM OFF. I would have bet a year's salary that this would not have lasted a week.
I guess we should have known better. We are talking about a man that had two boys yet moved into his GF's two-bedroom house who's son occupied the second bedroom. That's on us. JP doesn't even have a bed now. He sleeps on an air mattress.
Long story short, Patrick's dad decided that his son did not require the medication, exercise, and art therapy that his doctor prescribed/recommended. Patrick's dad decided that he did not need a guardian as he could make decisions for himself. Patrick's dad decided that all his son needs is to work at their old-school, family hardware store in Jacksonville, FL 40-50 hours a week (without paying him minimum wage I should add) because it gives him a "sense of purpose".
Unfortunately, Patrick is eating this up because he is now an "Emancipated adult that can make his own decisions" despite not being able to drive, or understand the terms of service of a checking account without a legal guardian or engage in appropriate conversation, or have a conversation with family without be coached by his dad or dad's GF, and so on and so on.
This is killing my wife. She sacrificed everything for Patrick to have as many opportunities as possible. And at this point, he has probably missed his opportunity to continue in Voc-rehab and weight-lifting classes through his extended education at home. She's trying to take the "high road" but I feel very strongly that his dad is neglecting his needs and possibly exploiting his son's disability and I want him reported to DCF.
I am not sure though that filing now will get you what you need because he is already 18 and if he objects, I am not sure what the judge will do. Also, will his father object as well?
I am not sure though that filing now will get you what you need because he is already 18 and if he objects, I am not sure what the judge will do. Also, will his father object as well?
My wife filed when he turned 18 (legally could not file beforehand). We are waiting on the guardian ad-litem appointment. I am confident that my wife will be awarded guardianship of Patrick. His father objects, but has stated via text that they do not want guardianship. They believe he does not need it. I do think they hired an attorney for Patrick to fight guardianship but it will still require an independent evaluation. I don't believe that any objective professional would evaluate Patrick and determine that he was capable of taking care of himself. Not even close. He is NOT cognitively high-functioning.
In the meantime, they have convinced Patrick that he is fully independent, convinced him that we are going to kidnap him and that he might have to "go off the grid", he is not on his medication and he won't even talk to his mother.
His mother is the sweetest, most loving and dedicated person I have ever known. Her dedication to Patrick has brought from banging his head against walls, running outside naked, being non-verbal to where he is now. He could manage in an assisted-living environment, but not in one that ignores his disability ultimately denying continued treatment.
I am not sure though that filing now will get you what you need because he is already 18 and if he objects, I am not sure what the judge will do. Also, will his father object as well?
We received some very good news today regarding this process. I will update after the process is completed.
Things did not go as they should have and I am not going to go into detail, but... heed these words.
If you believe your soon to be 18-year-old will require a legal guardian, begin the process as early as your state allows. Then once the process begins, do not let your child out of your site until the process is over.
This is especially important when then parents are divorced.
You do not want your special needs child to be in an unprotected environment.
Things did not go as they should have and I am not going to go into detail, but... heed these words.
If you believe your soon to be 18-year-old will require a legal guardian, begin the process as early as your state allows. Then once the process begins, do not let your child out of your site until the process is over.
This is especially important when then parents are divorced.
You do not want your special needs child to be in an unprotected environment.
Thanks for posting this and sorry about your outcome. We have 3 special needs grandchildren, not sure that any of them will be able to survive without a guardian once they're 18.
I think extended family members just don't understand it, most have great intentions. They think no medications and regular upbringing methods will work. I thought so at first too, but learned quickly that I was wrong. Hope your wife is doing okay.
1) That he had only spoken to my wife's 18-year-old autistic son twice and only moments before each hearing.
2) That he was under the impression that the son opposed guardianship UNTIL the morning before the final hearing.
3) That his recommendation was, "I don't have an answer".
The judge appointed my wife guardianship of her son with oversight over his health, education, and finances. However, with these caveats:
1) That she would consider my wife applying for his disability benefits an "aggressive move against him" and that there are too many people "on the dole".
2) That my wife's son has made remarkable progress since the last hearing (based literally on 15-20 total minutes of facetime) and that if his physician of 15 years (one of the world's most respected experts in spectrum disorders) did not see that progress that she should be evaluated.
To date, my wife has filed complaints against the guardian ad litem with the State Bar of Georgia, as he is a practicing real estate attorney and against the probate court judge, Georgia Judicial Qualifications Commission, for judicial misconduct for denying her son due process to apply for disability benefits.
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