How do you deal with a child being left back due to disabilities? (schools, sensory)

[GypsySoul22]

Our son was seen by a very good psychologist today and due to his many sensory motor problems, he recommends leaving him behind one more year. His maturity and other issues are hampering his social development. Moving on would mean leaving the safety of elementary school with these problem (many of which that were just pinpointed today) to go to the confusing world of middle school.

At first I was against it but now, I think it may be a good idea. He seems to need a lot more help than he has gotten.

Can anyone tell me how you dealt with something like this? Or how you are dealing with the issue of 'being left back?' I am afraid he will be upset his 'friends' (not that he knows many of them personally) will be moving on. In the end, it's what works for him, I know.

We just have so much going on that this upset me very much today.

Thanks for any feedback.

[okpondlady]

Does he have a IEP? If not see the psychologist about getting one in place. That will require the school system he is in to make sure he has the interventions he needs.

[GypsySoul22]

Yes, they are redoing his IEP thanks to the meeting with the psychologist. Someone missed the boat, big time.

[bowian]

I have a question. If you hold him back, what do you think will, or should, be done differently by the current school so that he is ready to make the transition to middle school in 2010?

Another question: What happens if he is just as unready for the transition next year as he appears to be this coming year?

These are things to think about in makng the decision. If his apparent lack of readiness is the direct result of his disabilities, then he will not be less disabled by staying behind a year. However, with more intensive and appropriate services and strategies, he can improve enough to be ready to transition.

Too bad the current school did not do all it could to make him ready for the transition so he wouldn't need to be retained. Makes me wonder how much good keeping him there an extra year will do.

Good luck with your decision.

[pll]

Personally, I would trust your moms intuition. You know what is 'right' for your child so follow your instincts. I wish I had when my daughter was in preschool and I pushed her into school too early. She has mild CAP and is the youngest in her class. This has made her school experience very frusterating. The 'experts' today are against retention. I disagree. If done right it can be the best thing for your child. I speak from experience because both my husband and I repeated grades and we never struggled in school after. I would consider having your child change schools and get a fresh start. ( I was in 3rd retained in 3rd grade and we moved to a different city so I didn't have peers asking a lot of questions). We are retaining our daughter this year and having her go to a different elementary, middle and high school. New friends can always be made but school is where you go to learn and that has to be the first priority. If your child struggling academically that will affect his friendships and his self esteem.They will be miserable and not want to go because they feel like they are failing. Also, middle school is a whole different experience then elementary. There are class changes, more teachers and a faster pace. The teachers expect more from the students.
You aren't alone. In my experiences with my daughter recently I have met soooo many people who were retained or knew someone who was. The feedback was more positive then not.