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Old 12-01-2009, 02:18 PM
10 posts, read 25,151 times
Reputation: 13


His unspoken language is getting louder…

As I reflect on the human language, and I ponder “the universal language” of “unspoken language”…I think of way back in the beginning of movie making…and the “Silent Films”. In these films there were no spoken words. The language and the story were conveyed with things like, Body Language, Gestures, and Facial Expressions, especially with that of the Expressions of the Eyes. The look of the eyes held the soul, and the window into what that person was feeling. In those eyes we saw passion, and vision…warmth, and love…strength and determination. Then in turn the gestures and the body language worked in perfect harmony with those eyes to convey the deep emotional message. Whether it be, Love, Anger, Sadness, Anguish, etc….the unspoken language of those silent films were both “Loud and Clear”, and everyone understood exactly what was being said. In our world as well, there are “Silent Films” going on all around us, with words unspoken, in this great art form that is “Unspoken Language.”

We communicate silently all the time, and we don’t even realize what we are doing, as it is as automatic as breathing, for most of us. For example, we see our friend, and we see stress all over her face, and we know…we just know something is wrong…before she utters a single word. Or, we may be at the park, and we see a man and a woman just talking on a bench perhaps. We cannot hear what is being said, but we know…we just know, as we observe the unspoken language… the eyes, that show both happiness and passion, and the body language that is full of open gestures, the smile, and the way the head is tilted…and yes…the communication is loud and clear to us, as it speaks to our comprehension, and understanding… they are probably in love…

In the world of “Autism Spectrum” however there is very little if any unspoken language to convey emotion, and without this vital part of human communication…it is extremely difficult to understand, and be understood. For instance, when you try to communicate love for someone, it is natural and easy…but try doing so, without using any unspoken language. Most of our warmest feelings are expressed nonverbally…so think of the internal frustration that would occur if our emotional core could not be expressed. The voice of their “Unspoken Language” would be trapped, and unfulfilled. There would be no “Look of Love”, no “Eyes that Glow”, and no “Smile that sends you Soaring”, and even the spoken expression has very little, if no meaning at all for these ones. The double meaning and pragmatic language eludes their comprehension.

These are the very thoughts that have plagued me since my son’s birth, with a hopeless feeling of depravation for him. I felt that he was cheated at life, and that there were so many wonderful connections that he would never be able to make…emotional connections to friends and loved ones. As he got older, the divisions got wider, and as he matured, while others developed emotional connection…he just didn’t. It hurt badly to know, that there was a huge, and wonderful language out there…and that he may never be able to speak it, or understand it. It was like he was a stranger in a foreign country, and no matter how long he would live there…He would always be a stranger, and a foreigner, as he tried to stumble through this world.

This very week, however, something wonderful has happened…and words cannot describe the joy that has filled my heart. It is immense, and overflowing! It happened at bedtime, when I go in to my son’s room to tuck him in for the night. He has learned what is the correct and scheduled thing to do…the traditional hug and kiss goodnight. It is an awkward gesture, and void of emotion, but it was part of his routine…and it was the routine, mind you that was the most important to him. Don’t get me wrong…I know that my son loves me, but I also know that without the emotion…the routine is even more important, as it is the only way that he knew how to express himself, nonverbally, and it makes him feel secure, because, remember…they are as strangers, in a strange land.
Anyway, back to the “Tuck In”…as I sit on his bed, and we talk about the day…all of a sudden, he pulls me to him, in a hug, and embrace that I am only accustomed to getting from my other children, but never Levi. It shocked me, as it happened, because I felt the emotion from him, and I felt love expressed from him for the very first time…and I HEARD his unspoken language, he said, “I Love You, Mommy!”…and my ears didn’t hear it…my heart heard it…Loud and Clear! This wonder of life, and personal miracle has happened every night since, and is as natural and smooth…and it is the best part of my day…and certainly, a tremendous joy, unparalleled by anything else. I have begun to hear his unspoken language in other ways too, since then as well. I was holding his hands just today, and he started to hold my hands right back…really holding my hands, and not just laying them in mine, allowing me to hold on to his limp hands. The warmth, and energy that came from my son’s grasp was overwhelmingly amazing! I’ve also received a couple of “I Like You” pats with a coordinating grin from him…that have literally melted my heart. And so…his emotional voice is getting louder…and I can HEAR it…and it is, as a symphony to the ears of my heart.

Throughout, Hemispheric Integration Therapy, I have seen so much success, and major milestones that have been reached with my son…academically, socially, and physically, however, the emotional milestones that he is starting to climb, has left me breathlessly in awe. Emotional intelligence is emerging, coupled with…”Unspoken Language” with which to express it.

Kimberly Larochelle
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