Is St. Louis more cliquish than other cities its size? (O'Fallon: transplants, cliquey)

[Charming Billy]

I'm not a native of St. Louis but I've lived here off and on for 15 years. Many St. Louis residents who aren't natives have told me it's hard to make friends, find a job, or otherwise get their foot in the door here. What does everyone else think?

For the record, I find St. Louis natives are generally polite and well mannered to outsiders, but have little interest in making friends outside of their circle of family and old high school/college friends. It also seems hard to land a job here if you're starting from scratch, but natives seem to find them more easily.

[DinsdalePirahna]

Originally Posted by Charming Billy

For the record, I find St. Louis natives are generally polite and well mannered to outsiders, but have little interest in making friends outside of their circle of family and old high school/college friends. It also seems hard to land a job here if you're starting from scratch, but natives seem to find them more easily.

Seems about right.

[STLCityMike]

Personally, I moved here when I was 29 - and didn't know anyone aside from my sister who lives in O'Fallon MO. Since that time I have met MANY MANY people, and made several friends, and settled down with a partner of 6 years now. Of my friends, most of them are also from out of town, but I also know many that are from the area. I think if you engage people in a friendly way, you will make friends. If you wait for them to talk to you, you may wait a while.

[DinsdalePirahna]

Originally Posted by STLCityMike

Personally, I moved here when I was 29 - and didn't know anyone aside from my sister who lives in O'Fallon MO. Since that time I have met MANY MANY people, and made several friends, and settled down with a partner of 6 years now. Of my friends, most of them are also from out of town, but I also know many that are from the area. I think if you engage people in a friendly way, you will make friends. If you wait for them to talk to you, you may wait a while.

My story too. I had a few friends that were locals, but most of the people that I became friends with were also transplants.

[moorlander]

I've never had a problem meeting and becoming friends with St. Louisians (transplant or local). The fact that I am originally from St. Louis usually doesn't come up nor does it seem to matter to anyone where you grew up. I'd say that at least 50% of my friends are transplants.

[Charming Billy]

They aren't all bad. I even married one. That's why I'm here. But even my wife agrees that the natives are cliquish. She's on good terms with her high school friends, but has little contact with them. Consequently she's in the same boat as I am: She finds it hard to turn casual acquaintances into friends unless they're out of towners.

[cnult]

I can't speak for other cities but I have lived in St. Louis my whole life and I do think it is pretty cliquish. The closer you get to the city limits the less cliquish it gets. I think a lot of people in the suburbs tend to get into their bubbles and then don't get out of them. When I moved to the city my family and friends looked at me like I was from another planet.
The "what high school did you go to" question is a great example.

[kshe95girl]

I found it harder to make friends in Florida than anywhere else I have ever lived.
No one in STL asks me where I went to school, we usually have much more important things to converse about.

[stlcitygirl]

I moved here a 6 years ago, I had absolutely no problem making friends. I would say about half my group are locals, half are out of towners. If you are having a hard time making friends, I would look at what kind of person you are.

[#1soonerfan]

I don't live in St. Louis, so I obviously can't speak for the social conditions of the city. However, I have spent extensive time in the south and midwest and having strong, almost impenetrable social circles is something that is hardly unique to just one metro area.

In fact, go to an city forum on city data, and put as a search term "cliquey", "cliquish", "hard to make friends", or "unfriendly people", I guarantee you will hit something in each and every one. I'm not saying people don't have legitimate complaints, but threads like these are about as ubiquitous on city data as the "bad drivers" threads.

Every city has its set social circles, although some are harder to get into than others. Maybe its just the decreasing "social-ness" that's going on in this country. Its all a matter of having a positive attitude, getting involved, and networking. Even in OKC, where I live, where everyone my age (24) is pretty much married with a mortgage and a kid or at least one on the way, I still can successfully meet people and cultivate relationships. You just gotta go out there and get it!