I need validation from internet strangers today (St. Louis: transplants, real estate)

[chicagoerin]

Internet differences aside, I will offer my advice from a recruiter's perspective. I would not advise putting your career on hold for a signifiant other, if you can help it. If it means moving to another city other than the one you really want to live in (St. Louis), I think you should do it. The job market is so tight right now and the longer one is out of work or the farther they stray away from the career path they truly want, the greater the chance they will never get back on track. If you were married and had kids or one on the way, I could see that. But you are putting your career on hold for a lot of things that may or may not happen. You may or may not get married. You may or may not be able to have kids. Your marriage may or may not last. (I sincerely hope you are able to do both, but one never knows). I say get your SO to move to a place that is good for both of your careers or make it happen where you are at. At all costs, avoid being stagnant career wise for any more time that is absolutely necssary. It's a really really tight market and the longer people are out of work, the lower their pay and the more they have to settle for a job that isn't really what they want. Just my 2c.

[Huckleberry3911948]

hello this is the validation hot line. im your volunteer huck, am i late?

[lifelongMOgal]

Originally Posted by aragx6

^I have a background in magazine journalism and used to work in internal corporate communications when we lived in Chicago. I now am really a glorified admin and I work with my company's project planning office to keep projects running on time and to plan while keeping loads of key stakeholders happy. I'm not even bad at it, I just don't like it. As soon as the SO and I determine what our next step is I'll be in a better position to figure my own stuff out.

While your career is "on hold" why not go ahead and start the family now and the kids will be closer to that pre-school age by the time the move to St. Louis? Don't take your most fertile years for granted if a family is what you want in 4-6 yrs. If you are unhappy with your work there is no time like the present. If you wait for your career to take off then you will put off the family even longer..... Set the wedding date and move forward with the family while you are young.

Get busy girl!

[MOKAN]

Originally Posted by topospace

Pathetic. Instead of wasting 8 hours a day playing on the internet, why don't try actually working? There are thousands of people who would kill to have your job. You're lucky to have one and even luckier that you haven't been fired considering your lack of work ethic. Try being an adult and quit feeling sorry for yourself.

This is what I was thinking.

You told her like it is on an anonymous internet message board.

#sheblowsalot.

PS: maybe she should go back to school and get a master's degree so she can get a real career since she lacks a full appreciation for what she has currently.

[aragx6]

Originally Posted by chicagoerin

Internet differences aside, I will offer my advice from a recruiter's perspective. I would not advise putting your career on hold for a signifiant other, if you can help it. If it means moving to another city other than the one you really want to live in (St. Louis), I think you should do it. The job market is so tight right now and the longer one is out of work or the farther they stray away from the career path they truly want, the greater the chance they will never get back on track. If you were married and had kids or one on the way, I could see that. But you are putting your career on hold for a lot of things that may or may not happen. You may or may not get married. You may or may not be able to have kids. Your marriage may or may not last. (I sincerely hope you are able to do both, but one never knows). I say get your SO to move to a place that is good for both of your careers or make it happen where you are at. At all costs, avoid being stagnant career wise for any more time that is absolutely necssary. It's a really really tight market and the longer people are out of work, the lower their pay and the more they have to settle for a job that isn't really what they want. Just my 2c.

I appreciate the advice and would likely give someone else the same. Only thing? I call him my SO on here for simplicity's sake, but we have been together 8 years and only haven't gotten married because we've been saving money for years and we really wanted a few adventures (and adventures cost money!). The date is set for September. Appearances aside, we've been living as a married couple, with combined finances and goals for the five years we've been out of college -- and lived together for nearly 7. Every decision we've made, even if after two years of it I'm restless, has been a joint one from the move to Chicago to the move to Kansas City. So too will be the eventual move to St. Louis and whatever else we do. It's a true partnership and I'm very lucky.

I do very much appreciate the advice though.

[aragx6]

Originally Posted by huckleberry3911948

hello this is the validation hot line. Im your volunteer huck, am i late?

Never too late!

[aragx6]

Originally Posted by MOKAN

This is what I was thinking.

You told her like it is on an anonymous internet message board.

#sheblowsalot.

PS: maybe she should go back to school and get a master's degree so she can get a real career since she lacks a full appreciation for what she has currently.

If a masters would do me a lick of good I'd likely consider it -- hell even though it wouldn't I've considered it as well.

I think it's super sad, as an aside, that we now live in a country where some people think you should just feel lucky to have what you have, even if it doesn't meet your expectations. No room for dreamers here anymore?

[aragx6]

Originally Posted by lifelongMOgal

While your career is "on hold" why not go ahead and start the family now and the kids will be closer to that pre-school age by the time the move to St. Louis? Don't take your most fertile years for granted if a family is what you want in 4-6 yrs. If you are unhappy with your work there is no time like the present. If you wait for your career to take off then you will put off the family even longer..... Set the wedding date and move forward with the family while you are young.

Get busy girl!

Oh god, while I appreciate the advice, I can't have a kid now. We make pretty good money, but not the kind of money I want before having kids. And, frankly, I don't think either of us -- even though we think babies are oh so cute -- are ready for that kind of responsibility just yet. Our furbabies are enough for us at present. As far as the fertile thing, I don't take that thought lightly -- this article: Fertility math? Most women flunk, survey finds - TODAY Health - TODAY.com
was very surprising to me. But that said, I'm fairly confident of not having major problems conceiving in my '30s, and if, sadly for any reason we did, both of us would be happy to adopt.

[flynavyj]

Originally Posted by aragx6

If a masters would do me a lick of good I'd likely consider it -- hell even though it wouldn't I've considered it as well.

I think it's super sad, as an aside, that we now live in a country where some people think you should just feel lucky to have what you have, even if it doesn't meet your expectations. No room for dreamers here anymore?

There's always a place for dreamers, but accomplishing dreams requires planning...often, higher education can assist in achieving that dream (especially for those without creative ideas or natural business savvy). The bachelors degree, while not required for work, will still give people opportunities that those without it lack, and a masters will do even more...the door that opens up might not be the one you're staring at!

[MUTGR]

Originally Posted by aragx6

^I have a background in magazine journalism and used to work in internal corporate communications when we lived in Chicago. I now am really a glorified admin and I work with my company's project planning office to keep projects running on time and to plan while keeping loads of key stakeholders happy. I'm not even bad at it, I just don't like it. As soon as the SO and I determine what our next step is I'll be in a better position to figure my own stuff out.

I'm wondering if you don't need the steady paycheck if you could create something, be a bit of an entrepaneur, get something established with your writing that you can move with you when you are readly to move. You know, free lance writing, consulting, something of that nature.

I dunno. Just a thought. You seem very bright and creative.