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Old 06-24-2017, 12:28 PM
 
201 posts, read 216,623 times
Reputation: 235

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I am a transplant in my late-20s and moved to St. Louis two years ago in search of love, prosperity, independence...the American dream. I had heard about St. Louis being more of a family-oriented city and that it was a tough place to be a transplant, but I took the chance anyway. I spent my high school years and a good portion of my adult life in Greenville, SC. I got fed up with Greenville because of the crappy job market and crappy singles scene there; the rejection I faced in both of those departments was absolutely unrelenting! I was striking out left and right over a period of three years with no idea why, and felt that moving away would open more doors. There were multiple women who turned me down after 1-4 dates during my first year in St. Louis, but I opted to give it more time. Towards the end of the summer last year, a single woman close to my age from about 30-40 mins. east of the city came along who took an interest in me. She came across as shy but aggressive, we really hit it off from the first date and have been crazy about each other ever since. I struggled with dating/sex/relationships for my entire life until she came along, so if I can get a girl in St. Louis, there is hope for anybody. I also have a small social circle of several friends, most of whom aren't from here originally.

That said, I am still struggling to get my career off the ground. I am an underemployed college graduate, and it is very difficult to even get a response from potential employers. You know, I sent my resume and expressed genuine interest in a position, sent a friendly follow-up message after waiting for an appropriate period to get a response, sent another friendly follow-up message after waiting longer, and still won't get a reply. This issue is not unique to St. Louis by any means, but I do wonder if not being from St. Louis originally is just one more stupid excuse people might use to rule me out. I'm not giving up, though, my hard work could certainly pay off.
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Old 06-25-2017, 02:54 PM
 
3,821 posts, read 3,252,801 times
Reputation: 2610
I'm fairly young still and just moved to Southwest FL. If you think meeting cute girls is bad in a big city like St. Louis then don't come down here. I live in one of the oldest average age counties in the state of Florida. Not a lot of young people under 50 around here and most move away after high school or college so the few hotties available are usually married. Maybe I need to find a cougar who's like 40

Orlando on south here in Florida in general is old people unless you go to southeast FL around Miami but it's an English speaking minority around there basically.
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Old 06-30-2017, 09:47 PM
 
Location: Unknown
569 posts, read 553,035 times
Reputation: 678
Imo it's more of a self absorbed society we live in today, women can be very choosy and even here in Texas it can be flustrating to find a date. I used to be that guy wishing he had the hottest girl, but after several life experiences with crazy ass women, I start to think twice. 29 and Single.
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Old 07-05-2017, 07:21 PM
 
72,797 posts, read 62,098,501 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmicAries View Post
Imo it's more of a self absorbed society we live in today, women can be very choosy and even here in Texas it can be flustrating to find a date. I used to be that guy wishing he had the hottest girl, but after several life experiences with crazy ass women, I start to think twice. 29 and Single.
There has always been a society of being "self-absorbed". In earlier times, decent looking women could be choosy, to a degree. Obviously, a woman needs to make sure she finds a man who has his act together. If she has her act together and he has his together, that makes for a good couple. However, nowadays, women who come with alot of baggage(out of wedlock children, a very promiscuous past "a la Blanche DuBois from Streetcar Named Desire", alot of other problems,etc) are the ones I'm talking about. These are often females who won't bother to be decent women in the first place, but expect to be extra choosy anyway. The attitude of "I come with alot of baggage and I'm difficult to deal with. However, you should accept feel lucky to have me anyway, with all of my problems". Sometimes a woman doesn't have to be hot in order to be crazy. I've met some crazy women who were not good looking, or came with alot of baggage.

BTW, I'm 31, single, and living in the suburbs of Atlanta.
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Old 07-05-2017, 11:49 PM
 
Location: Saint Louis, MO
138 posts, read 149,577 times
Reputation: 247
If you're young and single, I could see how STL might be a more difficult place to be a transplant than a place like Boston, NY, LA, etc. There's simply more liveliness in those places. With that being said, there's a lot of single women in STL (and most of them are not violent, wtf was that about?). Attitude has more to do with it than anything. That is the moral of the story here. You can whine about the dating scene in STL, but countless others have made it work. I do empathize with your struggles, though, and think you should head elsewhere. Some places just don't work out for people.
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Old 07-13-2017, 11:45 AM
 
934 posts, read 757,953 times
Reputation: 1018
I lived in St. Louis from 1993-2000 as a 27-33 year old single male. I had a pretty good time, but never married or got engaged to anyone. But I did have some good dates and a few good friends. Many of these were through my college alumni association.

But I will say that this was before the internet and all the internet dating thing. I remember going to happy hour at several spots in St. Louis and it was some very good happy hours with many, many singles. I met several dates this way. And this was in West County and St Charles area, not downtown. But happy hour seems to have become non-existent in many places now.

My comment to the OP would be that you are not alone is finding it very difficult to navigate dating and relationships in the 2000s, no matter where you live. It's basically useless unless you like typing letters to people you have never met all day long. People just don't get out anymore. Internet dating was and is a killer to the average male. The gift of gab and being well spoken in person no longer matters. It's how you look and how well you write.

I moved from St. Louis to B'ham Alabama partly to get back to where I knew more people and grew up.

And I consider it one of the worst mistakes I ever made.

I know the original post in this email was long ago, but to everyone aggravated with St. Louis, just letting you know you live in a pretty good place all things considered.
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Old 07-16-2017, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Missouri
471 posts, read 817,886 times
Reputation: 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfman85 View Post
I am a 27-year-old man who has lived in the St Louis area for two years now and am making plans to leave this city ASAP. Despite the fact that I have a very stable job here, I am leaving because I cannot find a woman here no matter how hard I try.

Since moving here I have not managed to find even a single friend, let alone a woman. People in the St Louis area are not interested in meeting new people and if you didn't grow up here, you will always be an outsider and will never be accepted. If you don't have the St Louis accent, then people say "you have an accent" and then when you reply that they have an accent too, they respond "I don't have an accent" as if the St Louis way of speaking were the "real" way of speaking English and everyone else speaks a second-class English. (Take it from an outsider, people in St Louis have a very distinctive accent, there is nothing "standard" about the St Louis accent).

Women in St Louis are very violent; do not EVER disagree with them on ANYTHING or they will immediately start using profanity towards you, get in your face, and threaten to beat you up.

This lack of love, companionship, and sex is completely unhealthy for a human and I believe I am already beginning to suffer from the physiological effects. Therefore, for my health I am moving away from this city. I encourage all single men considering a move to St Louis to strongly reconsider. If you arrive here single, you will leave here single.
Long term relationships with women are extremely dangerous for men in today's legal environment. Do yourself a favor, save your money and take weekend trips to Nevada and rent your vagina. It's better and more economical than leasing it. You won't be placed in legal jeopardy, loose half of your assets, retirement or income and your stress level will be non-existent.

As for love and companionship, dogs are man's best friend for a reason. Get a dog, not a woman. You will be sorry if you do.
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Old 07-16-2017, 08:13 PM
 
4,873 posts, read 3,571,800 times
Reputation: 3881
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crosstimbers Okie View Post
Long term relationships with women are extremely dangerous for men in today's legal environment. Do yourself a favor, save your money and take weekend trips to Nevada and rent your vagina. It's better and more economical than leasing it. You won't be placed in legal jeopardy, loose half of your assets, retirement or income and your stress level will be non-existent.

As for love and companionship, dogs are man's best friend for a reason. Get a dog, not a woman. You will be sorry if you do.
/r/redpill is the other way, man!
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Old 07-16-2017, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Missouri
471 posts, read 817,886 times
Reputation: 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfman85 View Post
So far no one has come up with a decent reply. It's all the same old tired nonsense of "other people could do it" and "it's the same everywhere else". No it's not the same everywhere else.

When I lived in West Texas, I had a date within a month after arriving. People there were very inviting towards me; they all wanted me to come to their houses and/or go out to eat.

Here in St Louis though, even when I invite people either to go out or to come to my place (not just women, but men too) they all universally turn me down, since they seem to always have plans no matter what day of the week it is or what time it is. They always seem to make time for their elementary school friends, but they can't even be bothered to spend even 20 minutes with me.

And before you all say "it's my approach", I will remind you all once again that in West Texas, I did not have this problem. It is simply that in St Louis, if you did not grow up here, you will never be accepted. All you St Louis posters will disagree with me, but I as an outsider who has lived the life of a "transplant" (that derogatory term you use to describe us as if we're lesser human beings because we come from somewhere else) can tell you the way it is.

Also, the whole thing about "trying harder to find the right person". I put in far more effort than any of you could ever imagine. I was going out nightly meeting several women a night and estimate that in my two years here, I asked out over 300 women and not a single one said yes. So please don't insist that it was due to lack of trying.

As for the violent women thing, it wasn't them being violent to me on a first date, because like I said, I never had a date here. It was them being violent in normal everyday life. The most extreme example: I was driving on I-270 towards the West County Mall, and I guess I accidentally cut off a woman changing lanes. I accept the blame, it was my fault. However, this sorry excuse for a woman FOLLOWED ME all the way to my exit, followed me to my parking spot, and upon parking I was surprised by her screaming in my face, telling me "I have an 8-year-old daughter you almost killed". Remember that I cut her off about 3 miles before my exit, so she followed me all that distance just to scream at me and get in my face.

I have many other examples that are nowhere near as extreme, but still uncalled for. My female coworkers have no respect at all for men and everytime we have a disagreement about a work related issue, their most common reply is to tell me to "shut the f*ck up".

My post was intended for a specific audience, namely for single men thinking of moving here. There are millions of other places more friendly to single men, namely West Texas. My post was NOT intended for St Louis people, since naturally they are going to disagree.

I know you are right. I moved to Kansas City from Oklahoma City in the early 2000s. I experienced the same thing with people in most parts of KC except the Northland. People were simply aggressive, rude & nasty. Not at all like Oklahoma or Texas.
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Old 07-18-2017, 08:26 AM
 
934 posts, read 757,953 times
Reputation: 1018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crosstimbers Okie View Post
Long term relationships with women are extremely dangerous for men in today's legal environment. Do yourself a favor, save your money and take weekend trips to Nevada and rent your vagina. It's better and more economical than leasing it. You won't be placed in legal jeopardy, loose half of your assets, retirement or income and your stress level will be non-existent.

As for love and companionship, dogs are man's best friend for a reason. Get a dog, not a woman. You will be sorry if you do.
Good post Crosstimber. And this is what I do. But rather than Nevada, I go to Atlanta.
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