Openness of St. Louis folks to outsiders? (Cape Girardeau, Ozark: transplants, chapel)
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I'm thinking about moving to St. Louis from Terre Haute, Indiana (about 2 1/2 hours away, other side of Illinois). I'm 32, finished a Master's degree in a field where there's literally no work, so I'm resigned to working service-industry jobs for right now. Basically just looking to live somewhere that's not my hometown but still within a decent driving distance of it. Terre Haute's OK, but the lack of a social life here is driving me bananas.
I went to school in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, then ended up kind of floating around some different Midwestern cities for a few years before moving back down South - now I'm back in the Midwest again. I like the idea of staying around the region, but haven't found a city that really clicks with me enough to stay there for good.
My question is: I lived in Madison, Wisconsin, for about 6 months, which was generally an okay town, but one of the few things I disliked about Madison was that while the people were definitely "nice" in a superficial, I never got the impression that they wanted to get to know anybody who wasn't from Wisconsin. Seriously. I had heard things about that before I moved to Madison and didn't believe it (I actually thought it sounded like a pretty dumb stereotype), but it was absolutely true. I've never been into Packers Football, the UW Badgers, winter sports, or going out to bars every night (don't get me wrong, I love beer, I just don't base my social life on drinking and bar-crawling). So Madison turned out to be either a hard place to make friends in, or I'm just old, I guess. Totally took me off guard, anyway.
I had lived in Champaign IL, Louisville KY, Bloomington IN, and spent about 5 years in the Southeast, and honestly thought Madison and to some extent Louisville were the most "closed" cities as far as meeting people goes. Where people just aren't that interested in getting to know you if you didn't go to kindergarten with them back in 1985. I realize that probably just about every city in the U.S. is like that in some way (as in, "we're the best, if you don't root for our team, good luck getting to know us," all that kind of parochial, small-minded stuff). Probably even applies to New York, Chicago, and L.A. I find it really off-putting, and some cities just seem to be full of people like this.
Is St. Louis this way? I've been there, and kind of have a basic feel for the city itself, but know nothing about the attitudes of St. Louisans. Missouri's obviously more of a Southern state than Wisconsin, so I'm guessing people are more effusively friendly there and not just superficially "nice" like Up North. But that actually wasn't my experience with Louisville (a so-called "Southern" city, where I found a lot of people to be surprisingly bitter and depressed) - is it just a city thing? Is St. Louis more like Missouri as a whole as far as "friendliness" goes?
It's a weird question to ask, but I'd love some input.
I think it's yes and no. I've found St. Louisans to be some of the most genuinely nice and open people I've ever met in the two years I've lived here and I've had no problem making friends. That being said, I hear some people say that there is a segment of the population that has no interest hanging out with anybody they didn't go to high school with and can be very parochial and closed. While I haven't experienced that, I can definitely see how that could be the case. For some reason high school is a BIG deal here and a lot of young people move right back in with their parents after they graduate college and continue to live that way for years. I think the level of openness depends on where you live in St. Louis. The city proper is full of young professionals and transplants who are into mixing and mingling and meeting people, and that's the part of St. Louis I'm most familiar with so it's been easy to make friends. I think the farther out you go from the city the more parochial it gets, as is the case in any city.
If you live in STL city, you should be able to meet a lot of people (like me) who didn't grow up in St. Louis or MO. I don't think the "closedness" should be a problem.
I moved to St. Louis from Australia almost 8 years ago and was immediately made to feel welcome! I fell in love with the city and the people in it. In contrast, I ended up moving to NC for over 4 years and despised it. The 'fake niceness' and so-called Southern Hospitality actually really, really irked me. I definitely didn't feel the same embrace from North Carolinians as I felt from St. Louisans (although I realize that a large portion of North Carolinians are actually Northern transplants).
Needless to say, as soon as my husband got out of the Marine Corps there was no doubt in my mind that we'd move back to St. Louis! Again, I've felt the same degree of warmth and welcome that was part of what made me fall in love with the place to begin with.
I've heard experiences to the contrary- but I believe that at least 50% of it is up to the individual to also make an effort. If you come in with a positive mindset, generally speaking, your positive attitude will be reciprocated.
Good luck to you!
P.S. Dawn10am's comment about High Schools is true, it's kind of a running joke "where did you go to High School?" so much so that you can even buy t-shirts from STL Style with it printed! However, I've noticed a significant decline in that mentality between first moving here and now. I think the number of transplants is starting to 'water down' the importance of the High School question!
P.P.S. Per NewStLouisan's comment... I lived in St. Louis County when I lived here before, and currently (although I used to work downtown in St. Louis City) and found that even the County had/has a lot of transplants. I feel just as welcomed in the County as in the City- so it doesn't matter where you choose to live in that regard
Location: Jefferson City 4 days a week, St. Louis 3 days a week
2,709 posts, read 5,093,568 times
Reputation: 1028
Quote:
Originally Posted by staylor336
I'm thinking about moving to St. Louis from Terre Haute, Indiana (about 2 1/2 hours away, other side of Illinois). I'm 32, finished a Master's degree in a field where there's literally no work, so I'm resigned to working service-industry jobs for right now. Basically just looking to live somewhere that's not my hometown but still within a decent driving distance of it. Terre Haute's OK, but the lack of a social life here is driving me bananas.
I went to school in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, then ended up kind of floating around some different Midwestern cities for a few years before moving back down South - now I'm back in the Midwest again. I like the idea of staying around the region, but haven't found a city that really clicks with me enough to stay there for good.
My question is: I lived in Madison, Wisconsin, for about 6 months, which was generally an okay town, but one of the few things I disliked about Madison was that while the people were definitely "nice" in a superficial, I never got the impression that they wanted to get to know anybody who wasn't from Wisconsin. Seriously. I had heard things about that before I moved to Madison and didn't believe it (I actually thought it sounded like a pretty dumb stereotype), but it was absolutely true. I've never been into Packers Football, the UW Badgers, winter sports, or going out to bars every night (don't get me wrong, I love beer, I just don't base my social life on drinking and bar-crawling). So Madison turned out to be either a hard place to make friends in, or I'm just old, I guess. Totally took me off guard, anyway.
I had lived in Champaign IL, Louisville KY, Bloomington IN, and spent about 5 years in the Southeast, and honestly thought Madison and to some extent Louisville were the most "closed" cities as far as meeting people goes. Where people just aren't that interested in getting to know you if you didn't go to kindergarten with them back in 1985. I realize that probably just about every city in the U.S. is like that in some way (as in, "we're the best, if you don't root for our team, good luck getting to know us," all that kind of parochial, small-minded stuff). Probably even applies to New York, Chicago, and L.A. I find it really off-putting, and some cities just seem to be full of people like this.
Is St. Louis this way? I've been there, and kind of have a basic feel for the city itself, but know nothing about the attitudes of St. Louisans. Missouri's obviously more of a Southern state than Wisconsin, so I'm guessing people are more effusively friendly there and not just superficially "nice" like Up North. But that actually wasn't my experience with Louisville (a so-called "Southern" city, where I found a lot of people to be surprisingly bitter and depressed) - is it just a city thing? Is St. Louis more like Missouri as a whole as far as "friendliness" goes?
It's a weird question to ask, but I'd love some input.
More of a Southern state than Wisconsin? Yes. A Southern state? Absolutely not. Missouri is in the Midwest. Southern Midwest, but Midwest nonetheless. And Louisville is indeed a Southern city.
More of a Southern state than Wisconsin? Yes. A Southern state? Absolutely not. Missouri is in the Midwest. Southern Midwest, but Midwest nonetheless. And Louisville is indeed a Southern city.
Many cities in Missouri are MORE southern than Louisville is. I will agree that St. Louis is not a southern city. St. Louis is actually feels out of place in Missouri. It feels like an eastern rust belt city. Many places in Missouri are very southern though, head an hour or two south of St. Louis and you feel like you are in the deep south.
Many cities in Missouri are MORE southern than Louisville is. I will agree that St. Louis is not a southern city. St. Louis is actually feels out of place in Missouri. It feels like an eastern rust belt city. Many places in Missouri are very southern though, head an hour or two south of St. Louis and you feel like you are in the deep south.
Ooooooh the perennial "Is Missouri a Southern state or a Midwestern state?" question. I thought this was settled. The southern 1/3 of Missouri is probably considered mostly Southern, while the rest of it is Midwestern. St. Louis is NOT Southern at all and is, like you said, more of a Rust Belt city, while KC might be considered slightly Southern, depending on who you ask. Isn't that pretty much the general consensus?
I might even go so far as to suggest that the only truly Southern part of Missouri is the Bootheel (if I dare). I think the Bootheel's Southernness cannot be denied, but the Ozarks may not even be 100% Southern, since Ozark culture is very distinct and separate from mainstream Southern culture. That's just my personal impression from having lived in both the mainstream South (Memphis) and the Ozarks (Northwest Arkansas). Thoughts?
Location: Jefferson City 4 days a week, St. Louis 3 days a week
2,709 posts, read 5,093,568 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imbored198824
Many cities in Missouri are MORE southern than Louisville is. I will agree that St. Louis is not a southern city. St. Louis is actually feels out of place in Missouri. It feels like an eastern rust belt city. Many places in Missouri are very southern though, head an hour or two south of St. Louis and you feel like you are in the deep south.
The Deep South? No way. Missouri is an OVERALL Midwestern state. There are parts that are Southern, but in no way do those parts consist of 50% of the state. At my most generous, I'd give Missouri 60% Midwestern, 40% southern. At my least generous, 75% Midwestern, 25% Southern.
Location: Jefferson City 4 days a week, St. Louis 3 days a week
2,709 posts, read 5,093,568 times
Reputation: 1028
Quote:
Originally Posted by imbored198824
Many cities in Missouri are MORE southern than Louisville is. I will agree that St. Louis is not a southern city. St. Louis is actually feels out of place in Missouri. It feels like an eastern rust belt city. Many places in Missouri are very southern though, head an hour or two south of St. Louis and you feel like you are in the deep south.
The only places in Missouri more Southern than Louisville are in the far south central and southeastern parts of the state below Cape Girardeau.
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