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Old 06-16-2017, 03:01 PM
 
1,113 posts, read 2,041,852 times
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I found this article from the Post Dispatch today to be interesting, and relevant to some of the recent threads in the forum. I have to say, I generally agree with it.

Why is it so hard to make friends in St. Louis? | Lifestyles | stltoday.com

I like the one quote in particular:

"This is the friendliest city in America where no one wants to be your friend"

As someone said before, cities that don't have a lot of transplants tend to be more provincial and cliquish, and you definitely get that sense in STL. People are nice enough, but most have never left the area (or if they left for college, they came back), have their own circle of friends and family, and don't feel like they need any more.
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Old 06-16-2017, 03:41 PM
 
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My experience has been mixed as a transplant. Living in the city the majority of people we meet are transplants, open, and friendly. Even the locals that live in the city tend to be open. We do have local county friends, but there have a been a few rare occasions I'm made to feel like an outsider. Anecdotally we had a friend move to Chicago suburbs and find the exact same issue there.
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Old 06-16-2017, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
135 posts, read 137,400 times
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Is St Louis Open to Outsiders? In a word, no.
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Old 06-16-2017, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Saint Louis, MO
1,911 posts, read 4,228,635 times
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I hear this complaint online all the time but I've had pretty much zero problem making friends here. And our circle is always expanding. We had more problems in a more transient city because nobody stayed long enough to become close friends. I'm somewhat of an extrovert and definitely a 'joiner' though. When I moved to a new neighborhood, I started going to the neighborhood association meetings. When I had my 1st baby, I joined a mom's club. Start a new job? Go to happy hour with co-workers.
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Old 06-16-2017, 05:22 PM
 
1,400 posts, read 687,614 times
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It depends on the kind of friends that you are trying to make. A lot of people have a routine that works for them and there just isn't enough time in the day to invest in new people. Now if you bring something to the table (mechanic, plumber, electrician, carpenter, gunsmith, own a truck, etc.) then it's easier. In STL, I think friends are most often made with neighbors and with coworkers. St. Louisans are friendly and approachable, but you might have to crack a joke or two to get them to open up a little. I think the people that consider STL home are usually content with their social lives so they generally don't go out of their way to make friends. In other words, if you're not from the area, then you might have to initiate and put forth a little more effort than your are accustomed to.

Last edited by 1grin_g0; 06-16-2017 at 05:34 PM..
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Old 06-16-2017, 05:39 PM
 
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I've been back in St Louis for 3 years and only heard the highschool question once. I think that was out of sarcasm from another boomerang St. Louisan.

Its funny how some say that people are still hanging out with highschool friends in their 30s. Most of my alumni are living in other cities.

My social circle is basically in the city. Most people I run into are from Chicago and the southeast. As in any place, I prefer hanging out with transplants regardless of where I live.

I've met one person who would always mention where he went to highschool, what type of car he drove back then and his family run business while reminiscing about hanging out at PTs and other strip clubs in Brooklyn il. He was very strange and possibly has many duplicates. He was over 60 and was constantly trying to reclaim something from his past.

Stay away from South county St. Charles and Jefferson county and you will be fine. North county has a lot of natives but they dont think about where they went to highschool as in a judgmental way. The inner suburbs like Clayton and University City offers a different vibe.

I am calling BS on this article. Most people who have issues like what was mentioned are suburbanites who choose to live in a certain part of the suburbs.
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Old 06-16-2017, 08:02 PM
 
Location: St. Louis, MO
4,009 posts, read 6,002,720 times
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I've honestly never understood why people think it's hard to make friends in St. Louis, as it has not been my experience, either as a single girl the first time I moved here, or married and a new mother the 2nd.

With that said, my husband hasn't really made friends in the 4+ years we have been here. I think that's more down to his personality than anything though. I don't mean that in a cruel way, but he's not a people person.
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Old 06-16-2017, 10:00 PM
 
Location: STL area
1,692 posts, read 817,618 times
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I think some people are open and some are not. Just like anywhere. I'm not a transplant, I'm a boomerang I guess. No different here than anywhere and other than keeping in touch I don't spend time with people I knew in HS. I meet people through my kids and my husbands work. Never noticed what some people do, but I do live in that central corridor where many people went away to university and transplants are more common.

I don't doubt people's experiences though I do think when there is this reputation it's easier to blame not clicking with people on "it's harder to make friends here". Also never hear the HS question unless it's a joke, or you know...when I was picking a school for my oldest and asked for peoples experiences.
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Old 06-17-2017, 08:04 AM
 
1,770 posts, read 1,429,247 times
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If you want to meet people, gain new friends etc. then move to the south. In St. Louis most people become friends with people where they have the same hobbies, interests, live in the same neighborhood or possibly yes did go to the same school. If you think STL is difficult then move further to the north east where it is more challenging but again it comes back to the mentioned above. The final thing to say is maybe it's you- do you smile and make yourself approachable?
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Old 06-17-2017, 08:31 AM
 
3,708 posts, read 2,672,814 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis View Post
I am calling BS on this article. Most people who have issues like what was mentioned are suburbanites who choose to live in a certain part of the suburbs.
I think it was a decent article with a BS headline. It basically says, "people who have lived in the same place for 20 years already have a full dance card, and St. Louis isn't particularly full of transplants", which is hardly controversial or unique to St. Louis.
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