Can an autistic guy develop a social circle around St. Louis? (Kansas City: high school, university)

[jbuck96]

I’m a 23-year-old male from eastern Missouri from a town just barely outside what is actually considered the St. Louis metro area. My parents divorced when I was very young, and over the course of my life, I have moved from here to where my mom lives in the Kansas City suburbs and back again. I have always much preferred it here and would love to move back when I am on my own. But it’s not that simple.

Here’s the deal: I have Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s a big part of my identity, and I’m not ashamed of it. But it massively affects my social ability. Never had a relationship, never had a date. I still live with my parents (currently mom and stepfather) because I have a lot of trouble driving and got a late start, which is attributable to some additional medical conditions. Nevertheless, I hope to move out within the next couple years.

I went to high school and college in this area, and my dad still lives here. I see him about once or twice a month and have one friend from high school whom I still see when I’m in town. I have no friends around KC, and one of the reasons I’d like to live in this area for good when I’m alone is that aforementioned friend. I did make one more friend in university, but I haven’t seen him since I graduated in May 2018. He also still lives in the area, so it’s possible that I could reconnect with him as well at some point.

I have very little desire for social contact most of the time; the only person I talk to outside of my family is this friend, and that’s about once a month. While I’m usually content alone, I feel I’m also missing out on what so many people enjoy out of life, and I want to try to “get out there,” so to speak.

Now from what I’ve read other people say about St. Louis, it seems as if it might not be the best place for me to be if I want to do that. Apparently friends are harder to make here than in many other places because people stay with their established groups. If I lose this friend, it might be harder for me to make another than if I lived elsewhere.

Dating is an entirely different beast that seems nearly impossible for me to figure out. I tried Tinder a little in college with no luck, but apparently “mutual friends” is a really common way people form relationships. My friend isn’t exactly swimming in friends either (he also has definite autistic traits), but one friend is better than none. However, I read a thread by a guy complaining about how St. Louis is terrible for getting dates. My chances are already incredibly slim because of my nonexistent social skills, and I’d like to try to improve those odds if I can.

So I guess my question is this: I love this area and desperately want to hold on to my one remaining friend and possibly find some more, including maybe a significant other, if only to see what it’s like. But is St. Louis a bad place to do this, culture-wise? Am I doomed to remain a single, nearly friendless autistic guy if I stay here for good? Or are the differences in cultures overstated, in which case staying here would be the best option?

[STL1980]

https://www.meetup.com/STL-Aspies/

try this group. best of luck!

[Sassybluesy]

I just saw this. I hope I can help a little.


I live in the St. Louis metro area (St. Peters to be exact) and my son has Asperger's. He has friends. People he spends almost every weekend hanging out with. He met them at Cosplay events around the area.


I'm not sure what your interests are, but if you're anything like my son, you like gaming, comic books, etc. Attend comicons, and see about the local Steam Punk and Cosplay clubs in the area. I would bet you could make friends that way.