St. Louis mentality vs. East and WestCoast (Chesterfield, Ballwin: low income, appointed)

[OA 5599]

Originally Posted by zach_33

wow. I don't work in HR but I am pretty sure asking a candidate their marital status is a legal no-no.

It was in a small talk setting. Not a formal question. Didn't bother me one bit, and I got the job anyway.

[Hans64]

Also - West Coast has two distinct areas: LA and Nor Cal.

Typical California viewpoint. No wonder you aren't well received in Washington and Oregon.

BTW your state is BANKRUPT. Good luck!

[Brickmama]

Most of the STL isnt small town minded as long as you are in the city or near inner ring suburbs. Once you cross over ot the Metro East or drive west past Lindbergh then that can change. I would look into Downtown, Soulard (which doesnt have any ghetto areas despite what was mentioned above), CWE, Tower Grove to start. Most people in these areas arent from here and small town mentality doesnt exist.

[HCC]

Hi Cafe,
I grew up in STL and fled, first to Chicago for 5 years and then to NY for the last 4. I finally appreciate a lot of things about STL, now that I have a little more perspective. One thing to remember is that each place has its pluses and minuses. I noticed you had the impression that people on the East Coast are snobby, mean and hung up on materialism. Actually, that was my impression too and braced myself for the assaults upon arrival. While there can be people like that, don't believe everything you see on "The Real Housewives of NY." I found it to be the quite the opposite really. People in NY have opened their hearts and homes to me in ways that I never experienced in the Midwest. On a daily basis I see so many acts of kindness. I think people often mistake NYers for being cold and rude because they do tend to keep to themselves, unless asked. Because there are so many people here and from all over the world and every variety, it is a way to give each other a little space and not intrude. After coming here, I tried to figure out what it is that makes NYers so nice compared to brittle Midwesterners. Part of it is, people from here are raised to be very direct, you always know where you stand, which is refreshing, compared with the passive-aggressive behavior I experienced in St Louis and Chicago which stemmed from being raised to be "polite." Also, in general people don't suffer the inferiority complexes they do in STL because, well, it's NYC and this is a center where people come from all over to peruse their dreams and ambitions-whatever those might be. They left their small towns because those dreams were not attainable there and as it was in my own case, were being crushed. This makes people happy and willing to sacrifice to stay here. There is much to be said and more that I can add, but in general, I have found NYers to be surprisingly much friendlier than Midwesterners. Yes, it is very hectic and that can be good and bad. It is one of the reasons I am considering moving out, though I do love it here.

Another place to consider is San Francisco. It is seriously one of the most beautiful cities, in terms of architecture and natural beauty. It has a lot going on culturally and the people are friendly and MUCH more laid back than in NY. Which can be good and bad. I found it hard to have any discussions of depth in SF, which is in part, why I left Chicago. Chicago is another option. It is a fabulous city in many respects, though in the end the winters and the people and small mindedness forced me out.

Please don't make the mistake of casting off a whole region based on stereotypes. NY is different than Boston (which isn't so friendly) and is very different from DC (better work in Politics) which is very different from VT or CT or ME, ect, ect....

One other thing to consider about NY, it is filled with infinite opportunities, though you really do have to come with a dream in order to stick it out. Because so many young people sacrifice everything to be here, there is a certain camaraderie where everyone kinda sticks together, or at least makes recommendations to make things a little easier. As for NY being out of control expensive, there are many resources that can help make life more comfortable in NY.

[Fishtacos]

Originally Posted by HCC

Hi Cafe,
I grew up in STL and fled, first to Chicago for 5 years and then to NY for the last 4. I finally appreciate a lot of things about STL, now that I have a little more perspective. One thing to remember is that each place has its pluses and minuses. I noticed you had the impression that people on the East Coast are snobby, mean and hung up on materialism. Actually, that was my impression too and braced myself for the assaults upon arrival. While there can be people like that, don't believe everything you see on "The Real Housewives of NY." I found it to be the quite the opposite really. People in NY have opened their hearts and homes to me in ways that I never experienced in the Midwest. On a daily basis I see so many acts of kindness. I think people often mistake NYers for being cold and rude because they do tend to keep to themselves, unless asked. Because there are so many people here and from all over the world and every variety, it is a way to give each other a little space and not intrude. After coming here, I tried to figure out what it is that makes NYers so nice compared to brittle Midwesterners. Part of it is, people from here are raised to be very direct, you always know where you stand, which is refreshing, compared with the passive-aggressive behavior I experienced in St Louis and Chicago which stemmed from being raised to be "polite." Also, in general people don't suffer the inferiority complexes they do in STL because, well, it's NYC and this is a center where people come from all over to peruse their dreams and ambitions-whatever those might be. They left their small towns because those dreams were not attainable there and as it was in my own case, were being crushed. This makes people happy and willing to sacrifice to stay here. There is much to be said and more that I can add, but in general, I have found NYers to be surprisingly much friendlier than Midwesterners. Yes, it is very hectic and that can be good and bad. It is one of the reasons I am considering moving out, though I do love it here.

Another place to consider is San Francisco. It is seriously one of the most beautiful cities, in terms of architecture and natural beauty. It has a lot going on culturally and the people are friendly and MUCH more laid back than in NY. Which can be good and bad. I found it hard to have any discussions of depth in SF, which is in part, why I left Chicago. Chicago is another option. It is a fabulous city in many respects, though in the end the winters and the people and small mindedness forced me out.

Please don't make the mistake of casting off a whole region based on stereotypes. NY is different than Boston (which isn't so friendly) and is very different from DC (better work in Politics) which is very different from VT or CT or ME, ect, ect....

One other thing to consider about NY, it is filled with infinite opportunities, though you really do have to come with a dream in order to stick it out. Because so many young people sacrifice everything to be here, there is a certain camaraderie where everyone kinda sticks together, or at least makes recommendations to make things a little easier. As for NY being out of control expensive, there are many resources that can help make life more comfortable in NY.

Your post had potential...but...you say things such as:

"Please don't make the mistake of casting off a whole region based on stereotypes. NY is different than Boston (which isn't so friendly) and is very different from DC (better work in Politics) which is very different from VT or CT or ME, ect, ect...." or your stereotypes about Chicago, St. Louis etc...

So you say part of the time don't stereotype, yet you did several times in your post.

[HCC]

Fishtacos,
I think it is generally understood that these forums are about offering personal opinions, rather than completely bias-free encyclopedic sound bites. Try offering an opinion on the subject at hand, rather than attacking other's posts. You and the rest of us will be all the better for it.

[Fishtacos]

Again, you ask for people not to make stereotypes and sweeping generalizations, yet that is what you are doing.

It's more than incomplete to say that Boston isn't so friendly. And, you better work in politics if you want to be in D.C, or that people can't have discussions with depth in San Francsisco.

[HCC]

I suppose I should have clarified that I make those observations from personal experience. I know a lot of people who live/have lived in DC proper and those who were not involved in the political scene often felt isolated, as DC in many ways is a one industry town, outside of academia, perhaps. Boston tends to be a tough town and it usually takes one who isn't originally from there or part of the academic community a long time to find their place. Attitudes can be quite chilly. Fishtacos, in the future, please understand that I don't have the time or space to clarify every point. If someone needs clarification, I would hope they would ask. For example, "Why do you think Boston isn't so friendly?" These forums are to spark conversation and hopefully that can happen, but again, be fair, it would be impossible to be encyclopedic in response.

[Fishtacos]

Originally Posted by HCC

I suppose I should have clarified that I make those observations from personal experience. I know a lot of people who live/have lived in DC proper and those who were not involved in the political scene often felt isolated, as DC in many ways is a one industry town, outside of academia, perhaps. Boston tends to be a tough town and it usually takes one who isn't originally from there or part of the academic community a long time to find their place. Attitudes can be quite chilly. Fishtacos, in the future, please understand that I don't have the time or space to clarify every point. If someone needs clarification, I would hope they would ask. For example, "Why do you think Boston isn't so friendly?" These forums are to spark conversation and hopefully that can happen, but again, be fair, it would be impossible to be encyclopedic in response.

You make grand, sweeping, across the board generalizations off of a small sample size. I've lived in those places, and I've had a much different experience.

If you do not have the few extra seconds to not offer more than across the board stereotypes, then perhaps this isn't the place for you. Everyone is busy.

[HCC]

Originally Posted by Fishtacos

You make grand, sweeping, across the board generalizations off of a small sample size. I've lived in those places, and I've had a much different experience.

If you do not have the few extra seconds to not offer more than across the board stereotypes, then perhaps this isn't the place for you. Everyone is busy.

I think it is understood that we speak from personal experience on this forum and my opinions and views of certain places may be very different from the experiences you or others may have had. That doesn't invalidate my opinion, we are all here to offer them, that is what this forum is about.

This thread began as a very generalized view based on perception, rather than personal experience for the most part. I attempted to give what I felt was the best answer based on PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, rather than PERCEPTION. I think there is an important distinction to be made in terms of generalizing a city based on those 2 things. It seems a waste of time to have to explain this, when I think it is generally understood that is what we are here to do. If you differ in opinion and experience, great, let's hear about it.