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Old 02-07-2012, 09:26 AM
 
126 posts, read 218,901 times
Reputation: 77

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I may have posted something like this before but wanted to revisit this topic.

When you moved / or are in the process of moving, did you have friends/family that were unsupportive or acted like they were in denial that you were leaving?

We have finally set a date to move to the Tampa Bay area (Aug 1st) and I am finding that our best friends are less than supportive. I understand they will miss us and do not want us to go, but it is very frusterating that they never ask us questions about the move, never respond to social media postings they are a part of with us and basically ignore the fact we will be moving in 6 months. My best friend who knows EVERYTHING about me and I talk to on a daily basis for the last 10+ years has had zero interest in our moving. She will talk about it if I bring it up but its the most vague conversations. All my other firends are very supportive, ask questions and encourage me that it's exciting and will be a great adventure even if they will miss me. My BF's husband is my husband's bestfriend also and the guys do not talk at all about it together. The reason is because our friend says he is selfish and has nothing positive to say because he does not want us to go.

I called my BF last night and was talking a bit about some stuff that is going on with our current land lord (our septic drain system is shot) and brought up the move to FL and she was short and ended our call with "well our dinner is ready". I could tell she did not want to talk.

Should I be upset that she has known about this for 10 months and has not come around yet? There is so much I want to share with her but if she continues to not seem interested in anything I have to say about our move then I guess she will be left out of any details. I do not feel this way with any of my other friends but her and she is the one I want to talk to the most about it with. There is even more tension on the guys and I think it's a shame.



We have had mixed emotions with the family. My parents that we are very close to totally support us moving. We see them the most so having them excited for us helps. My cousins, not so much but I think it's because they too have only lived in one area all their life and we are a tight family. My husband's family is split about it. Some are supportive, some are not because they do not want us to leave even if we only see them 5-7 times a year.

I know everyone will not be on board, but I find it frusterating that people let their selfishness get in the way. Will it get better once we move?
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Old 02-07-2012, 09:36 AM
 
17,534 posts, read 39,131,539 times
Reputation: 24289
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilacmama View Post
I may have posted something like this before but wanted to revisit this topic.

When you moved / or are in the process of moving, did you have friends/family that were unsupportive or acted like they were in denial that you were leaving?

We have finally set a date to move to the Tampa Bay area (Aug 1st) and I am finding that our best friends are less than supportive. I understand they will miss us and do not want us to go, but it is very frusterating that they never ask us questions about the move, never respond to social media postings they are a part of with us and basically ignore the fact we will be moving in 6 months. My best friend who knows EVERYTHING about me and I talk to on a daily basis for the last 10+ years has had zero interest in our moving. She will talk about it if I bring it up but its the most vague conversations. All my other firends are very supportive, ask questions and encourage me that it's exciting and will be a great adventure even if they will miss me. My BF's husband is my husband's bestfriend also and the guys do not talk at all about it together. The reason is because our friend says he is selfish and has nothing positive to say because he does not want us to go.

I called my BF last night and was talking a bit about some stuff that is going on with our current land lord (our septic drain system is shot) and brought up the move to FL and she was short and ended our call with "well our dinner is ready". I could tell she did not want to talk.

Should I be upset that she has known about this for 10 months and has not come around yet? There is so much I want to share with her but if she continues to not seem interested in anything I have to say about our move then I guess she will be left out of any details. I do not feel this way with any of my other friends but her and she is the one I want to talk to the most about it with. There is even more tension on the guys and I think it's a shame.



We have had mixed emotions with the family. My parents that we are very close to totally support us moving. We see them the most so having them excited for us helps. My cousins, not so much but I think it's because they too have only lived in one area all their life and we are a tight family. My husband's family is split about it. Some are supportive, some are not because they do not want us to leave even if we only see them 5-7 times a year.

I know everyone will not be on board, but I find it frusterating that people let their selfishness get in the way. Will it get better once we move?
Yes, it will get better because you will make NEW friends who will be happy you moved here! The important thing is that your family is on board. Your "friends" selfishness is their own problem to deal with, don't let it be yours. If they were a true friend, they would say they'll miss you but would be happy for you. Welcome to Florida!
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:06 AM
 
623 posts, read 1,303,100 times
Reputation: 148
And they'd also be asking 'when are we coming to visit'? Too bad for them, really missing out imo.

Where are you moving from?
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:26 AM
 
2,729 posts, read 5,202,980 times
Reputation: 2357
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilacmama View Post
We have had mixed emotions with the family. My parents that we are very close to totally support us moving. We see them the most so having them excited for us helps. My cousins, not so much but I think it's because they too have only lived in one area all their life and we are a tight family. My husband's family is split about it. Some are supportive, some are not because they do not want us to leave even if we only see them 5-7 times a year.
What I quote above! When your own "blood" are split, what are you expecting from your friends?

Just move on. You are reading into it too much

Welcome!
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:42 AM
 
126 posts, read 218,901 times
Reputation: 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAKIRAV View Post
And they'd also be asking 'when are we coming to visit'? Too bad for them, really missing out imo.

Where are you moving from?
Michigan and they always vacation on Anna Maria Island with us so you would think they would be excited about coming to vacation.
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
1,388 posts, read 2,387,154 times
Reputation: 993
They're obviously upset that you're moving. Take it in stride. They'll either grow up and be happy and supportive or they'll continue to be sticks in the mud. Either way, live your life.

For the record, a lot of my friends hate Florida and thought we were nuts to leave DC, but they were happy that we were happy.
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Old 02-07-2012, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Tucson AZ
77 posts, read 138,422 times
Reputation: 69
My husband and I are in the same boat. Our friends are excited for us to move back to the East Coast and so is some of my family. My parents will not talk to me because they do not want us to move to Florida. They don't have a real grandparent relationship with our kids like most grandparents do. Before Christmas it had been six months since they had seen the kids. We take them over to see them and they are shooing us out the door 20 minutes later, they never come to our house to see them either. Now that we are moving they are giving us the silent treatment and could not even call me yesterday to say Happy Birthday to their only child.
My husbands family is acting the same way! I have just given up on all of them at this point and I am concentrating on getting things packed for our move to Florida next month. My son will be continuing his schooling at an Aviation school in Clearwater. So instead of being happy for him and us we are the bad people and being shunned.
Oh well!!
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Old 02-07-2012, 12:13 PM
 
623 posts, read 1,303,100 times
Reputation: 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAKIRAV View Post
And they'd also be asking 'when are we coming to visit'? Too bad for them, really missing out imo.

Where are you moving from?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilacmama View Post
Michigan and they always vacation on Anna Maria Island with us so you would think they would be excited about coming to vacation.

Right? Obviously shooting themselves in the foot! Not too smart!
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Old 02-07-2012, 12:29 PM
 
2,539 posts, read 4,087,069 times
Reputation: 999
Sounds like its all about the other family members and your friends. Enjoy the sunshine when it's cold, raining and snowing, and you know it eventually will snow!
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Old 02-07-2012, 12:37 PM
 
Location: N.H Gods Country
2,360 posts, read 5,247,070 times
Reputation: 2015
It may not really be a case of not being supportive or in denial. When we moved to Florida none of our friends were really overexcited. Most of my friends thought i was crazy. Different people show their emotions in different ways. You have 6 months before you move. Maybe they'll come around. Like you said they always go to Florida on vacation so it might not be that big of a deal. Sometimes the only ones getting excited about moving to Florida or anywhere else for that matter are the ones that are doing it. That's how it seemed to be in my case. Give em a chance. A best friend is a best friend no matter where you live.
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