Demeanor of kids in Tampa? (Westchase: appointed, apartment complex, daycare)

[Ryan_M]

I'm in the process of relocating to Tampa from near Toronto Canada. I'm still in Canada for another couple weeks but I've been in Tampa for about three weeks or so cumulative so far. From my experience people there are extremely friendly. When going for walks in neighborhoods I'm looking to buy in (because I can't drive in since they're gated) people have stopped me to talk to me, somebody even pulled over as he was leaving after he already talked to me from his driveway and proceeded to talk for another 15 minutes. I was in a pub for a bite to eat and due to a olympic game that was on TV a guy started slagging Canadians. He was pretty much sitting next to me so I ripped a comment back, we laughed and talked for over an hour - super nice guy. Even the bartender made a point of introducing herself and welcoming me to the area. I have lots of examples...

So to my point. My daughter (8 years old) just got down there permanently a few days ago. She has been busy with my wife getting enrolled and setup for school and finally found some time to make it to the community pool today to relax. She met a couple kids there today and they were kind of rude to her as my wife tells me. My daughter is pretty upset from this. They weren't mean or anything just seemed to have no interest even acknowledging her when she was trying to talk to them. This is a complete polar opposite of everything I've seen down there so far. I know kids will be kids and they're not always the most tactful people even if they don't mean to be. I'm more wondering if these kids are the exception or the norm. Not trying to stir anything up, I'd just like a heads-up on what to be prepared for.

Thanks.

[MAniacTHW]

When my parents first moved to Carrollwood, it took me a while to make friends also. I started making friends when I got into school, as I imagine your daughter will too.

[roadtrip75]

Originally Posted by Ryan_M

When going for walks in neighborhoods I'm looking to buy in (because I can't drive in since they're gated) people have stopped me to talk to me, somebody even pulled over as he was leaving after he already talked to me from his driveway and proceeded to talk for another 15 minutes. I was in a pub for a bite to eat and due to a olympic game that was on TV a guy started slagging Canadians. He was pretty much sitting next to me so I ripped a comment back, we laughed and talked for over an hour - super nice guy. Even the bartender made a point of introducing herself and welcoming me to the area. I have lots of examples...

Hi, in what neighborhoods did these things happen?

[crazynip]

If you are in a good area, the kids are normal

If you are in a less than good area, the kids range from ghetto to white trash depending on ethnicity

[algia]

This is pretty common here...(I hate to say it), but some kids/parents will be friendly, and some will have a stick up their ass so high that it blocks their vision and common senses.

She'll make more friends at school, but if you want to meet people, and make friends too, you too will have to go to school more often. My kids are very social and love to make new friends, and sometimes they are disappointed that some kids are just "closed for business" as I like to say it.

This suburbia crap has created a society of isolation/isolators...so now it takes some digging to find the remainder of the people who STILL enjoy socializing with others without the use of electronic devices!

Also, don't forget that the majority here (in Florida, not just Tampa) is not made up from people who were born and raised here and who have a strong sense of community, it is made up of people from NY and the Midwest, and the only thing those from NY brought here is the "no eye contact" habit! Those who moved here from a NY suburb are a minority...a lot of them moved from NYC's streets, and have no community sense to themselves.

[annaegel]

Our experience, the kids are mostly not nice. We moved from NJ and found the kids are mean in in comparison. After 7 years, my 16 year old daughter has a few good friends, and a few kids she says hi to when moving from class to class. It was real rough when we first moved here. In the beginning, kids were nasty and she was bullied. The school did NOTHING about it, even though they preach zero tolerance for bullying. My 13 year old, she is the nicest person I know and no one will be her friend. I saw that she exchanged hellos with kids during the schools open house the other day, but no one that she can call a friend. She also has been bullied, but the school did do something about it. They both had a good amount of friends with play dates, birthday parties and sleepovers in NJ, but that really hasn't happend here. I have asked other parents who moved from NY/NJ area if they felt the kids were not nice down here comparitively. They all agreed that the kids were nicer up north. Yes, kids will be kids and bullying can happen anywhere, but the kids we have encountered here are not so nice. We don't live in the ghetto. We live in a nice community. We do have kids bused in from not so nice neighborhoods, but they are the ones that are nicer, not the local kids.

We live in Tampa Palms (New Tampa area) and joined the country club for my kids to meet other kids. We have found that the kids come there with friends and don't want to interact with my kids (closd for business as algia says), so we dropped the membership after 7 months. We had the kids join the Girls Scouts. That was disasterous. Joined dance, and acting classes, no success. Found mean kids there and the instructors don't want to be bothered dealing with them.

I have NEVER had the same experience as you. I have not found the adults all that friendly. After being in my neighborhood for 7 years, I barely know who my neighbors are. We wave and that is about it.

I have to disagree with the last paragraph algia said. I grew up in NYC. True, when you walk the streets of NYC, you are not suppose to make eye contact, but NYer's are not rude. When you live in an apartment complex, you do have a community feel even if it is for the people on the same floor. My sister lives in an apartment in Manhattan and she knows all her building neighbors. There just isn't enough NYer's to make Tampa feel unfriendly. Most of the unfriendly people I personally have met are from the midwest, no idea why they would be so unfriendly. True Floridian crackers are the most friendly.

What area do you think you will be moving to? I would like to live in an area that has people coming up to me to say hello. You don't find that in many places here. Good luck. I hope she does make friends quickly and you like living here.

[algia]

This draws out here so much because both parents have to work, thanks to the low wages, and the kids end up having to FEND for themselves in some daycare from 6 weeks old where nobody is teaching manners one on one (and also where some "caretakers" don't even speak English well, or are too young, and have no manners themselves). Reason which is why we decided to forgo going out, vacationing places etc., in exchange of me staying home and making sure our kids grow up with manners and common sense.

We haven't been able to find parents here who were open to play dates, or sleep overs either. I do agree that if you DO find a native Floridian family here that they are friendly. But they are rare, and also keep to themselves, and their own immediate families!

Originally Posted by annaegel

Our experience, the kids are mostly not nice. We moved from NJ and found the kids are mean in in comparison. After 7 years, my 16 year old daughter has a few good friends, and a few kids she says hi to when moving from class to class. It was real rough when we first moved here. In the beginning, kids were nasty and she was bullied.

[LKJ1988]

Originally Posted by crazynip

If you are in a good area, the kids are normal

If you are in a less than good area, the kids range from ghetto to white trash depending on ethnicity

TNC is a good case in point.

[tpajr]

Originally Posted by Ryan_M

I'm more wondering if these kids are the exception or the norm.

They are likely the norm, anywhere you go. Friendly kids are friendly kids. Snotty kids are snotty kids. Your child sounds like a friendly child who will have no problem making friends once she meets some that are not snotty.

[Ryan_M]

FWIW this happened in Westchase, but it seems to be an isolated incident. She's had a couple days of school and sounds like she is well on her way to making some new friends. Sorry, I didn't mean to come off as sounding like she's fragile or whatever. I was just getting worried that it was going to be a rocky start for her since she's not used to the culture down there.

And a somewhat related story... My daughter is in before/after school daycare. I found out yesterday after school there was a mentally challenged girl (sorry if that's not the correct term) that all the other kids were avoiding. So my daughter took it upon herself to go over and read her some stories. She was not impressed that this girl kept on putting things in her mouth then handing them to my daughter, but she stuck it out. Kids really surprise you sometimes!