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How on Earth is it an excuse for bad behavior? When the class is spending 40 minutes in something and you finish it in 10 then what? I was lucky that I loved reading. I finished many books in school when others were doing work. I did have some teachers who wouldn't let us read books after finishing work. I just had to sit there for half an hour with absolutely nothing to do.
Well, obviously, that is not the right approach, and hopefully we've moved beyond that in education. I've known of some bright (I won't say gifted) kids who got in trouble b/c they were finished with their work and didn't have anything constructive to do (according to them), and I've known some who didn't get in trouble when they finished early.
not teaching but what i see alot
hey my kid is not rotten my kid is gifted
the problem at school isn't that he is getting
not enough discipline at home
its that he is getting way too much of it at school
i got a teacher problem not a rotten kid problem
Here in sweden Teachers seem to supress gifted kids, since everyone being equal is taken a step further here; everyone should be equally worthless at everything, and even retards should have the possibility of going to college (and college is free here, payed 100% with tax money)
Well, obviously, that is not the right approach, and hopefully we've moved beyond that in education. I've known of some bright (I won't say gifted) kids who got in trouble b/c they were finished with their work and didn't have anything constructive to do (according to them), and I've known some who didn't get in trouble when they finished early.
Well, we'll see if they've moved beyond it in a bit. My niece starts kindergarten in September. We've checked the curriculum, and she knows 90% of what they are going to learn. We'll see what happens to the kids who don't take forever to learn stuff. No, I'm just saying my niece is gifted. However, we have had many people who aren't related to us and work with children say that she is at least extremely bright.
Yes, when you finish early you do free reading, or homework or whatever, quietly. But some kids act up instead, and some parents claim it's because they're bored because they're so smart.
You don't do it when your teacher doesn't let you. This was lots of fun when we had the standardized tests. We would have an hour to do them, and I would finish in 15 or 20 minutes. I did have some teachers who wouldn't let us take a book out after we were done. Oh my goodness was I bored as heck.
Teachers are taught in college how to teach in the middle. It wasn’t until in more recent years that teachers began to be taught the difficulties in teaching children who were below average. Before it became mainstream to provide special help to children with special needs, these children acting out in class resulted in most teachers saying it was a behavioral issue related to poor parenting. They were disciplined where the class could see so they developed self esteem issues. Psychologically, these children were being damaged, often causing social problems for these students for the rest of their lives. Educators have since seen this and made changes for these students. In fact, so much of the funding goes to these children that I heard stated from a teacher: “I never understood why so much funding went to teach a child who was terminally ill, who was also so mentally ill she would never be able to function in society yet had three teachers all to herself. She was mentally handicapped as well as blind and deaf. She would never benefit from what she was learning.†Coming from a poor school district, he was relating to my concern when I spoke about the struggle in choosing home schooling for our children, with at least one child who was clearly gifted. It wasn’t that he was against the funding going to the child. Instead, we were talking about the struggles school districts have when they lay the money on the table and have to decide where it goes. This child clearly needed the funding but at least, in the educators theory, gifted children did not need help. I was saying that when our core group is suffering that to the point were our schools are cutting band, choir and sports, we have to look to other sources for the cash. We thought another solution could be relabeled special help for special needs kids as therapy and have the funding come from the very rich medical companies and insurance companies. The point was, that we get more creative in finding the funding to support ALL the children’s needs, from one extreme to the other.
But teachers are just that, teachers. Not psychologists, with no formal training on the challenges of highly gifted children. It was a couple of books that hit the mainstream that killed the idea of giftedness and now our children are suffering for it. It is true, few children are highly gifted, and as we climb the IQ number scale, the number of children become fewer and fewer, as already stated. I have not had my child formally tested, from a combination of my husbands disagreement and with the teacher friends advice, who said after his daughter tested gifted, she purposely started getting a answers wrong on her schoolwork so that she would stop being treated as an outcast in school. But there is not one person who would dispute that my child is gifted and now he wishes he would have home schooled her. I’m not a “needs a reality check†mom. Right now at age 7, she is at where most kids are between 11-14 and beyond in some areas. In fact, I was looking at language arts just today and am kind of sad because I have to go look for college level material for her. Its just progressive, providing the material she asks for but when I stop and think it’s â€Whoa! My 7 year old wants what???†I’m just fortunate enough to do very well in this area myself (now don’t critic forum ramblings). I remember analyzing Lord of the Flies with my class and my teacher asked me to type up a full report of everything in my head so she could teach future classes from it. She was teaching from a little book that analyzed it and put it into teaching form with little tips on how to engage the class in discussion around different parts of the book. I out did that little book and its no surprise that my top two strength is analytical. You may look at that and think, well there is one student in one class, what makes that student different? While my teacher saw many years of a wide variety of ideas and thoughts around analyzing this book, I was able to provide a teacher of mine, with a formal college education, with better material than she learned in college. I was 15. She was in her late 40‘s. And this wasn’t the first time I had this experience with teachers. Unfortunately, I was asked by most teachers, including her, to not participate during class and to keep my ideas to myself so the other students had the chance to think for themselves and also because they could not comprehend half of what I said. I did however, get “privileged†with being allowed to nap in Algebra class after my work was done one year, although I wasn’t allowed to work on homework for other classes. And I got kicked out of class once for reading that days work ahead of class during commercials from Channel 1. (Which was required for all students at that time of day.) I skipped French class whenever I could. Once I learned Spanish, I was able to read French through high school levels and I got straight A’s. I just did the work and showed up for tests. You could find me in art class during that hour. I did tutor a new student in chemistry once. We were over half way through the year and a week away from a huge test. I taught him an entire quarter in one week. He actually beat me by one percent. We were allowed to make our own experiments once to help the teacher prepare for his next years new standardized tests. My first three ideas were vetoed because dangerous chemicals were by products. We learned how to make bombs in that class, not that the teacher was teaching us that. I remember “debating†a teachers ideas in literature and listen to a student use what he learned from me to turn “debate†or history teacher. Neither teacher had what it took to go past the knowledge and hated the fact that their inconsistencies were taken on in front of the entire class. When my economics teacher wouldn’t let me use the bathroom, I left anyway, without saying another word to her. On my way back in, she told me I wasn’t allowed in until I apologized to the class. I agreed, though she had no idea what I was about to say. By the time I was done, all the students would walk out without even asking her anymore. I remember talking to kids about suicide and other huge real life problems and talking them out of it and convinced them to get help. In the couple instances where the counselor knew my involvement, she suggested I go into psychology.
I also remember sitting in class, in the front row of on of my favorite teachers once. I did not write the work out. My teacher was sure I had copied off of the kid next to me and thought he’d embarrass me in front of the class by pointing to the most difficult problem and ask me why I hadn’t shown my work. I’d been pretty quiet and he didn’t know me very well. I told him I did the problem in my head. He suggested that I had I had used my head to find the answer by letting someone else do the work. I told him I could walk him through the problem if he wanted, right then. He thought he had me and I walked him through the problem with ease while he wrote it out on the board. He turned with a smile on his face and said “I almost gotcha!†Then later he took me aside and told me he got paid to make sure I was learning and the only way he could tell if I was learning was if he could see me do the work. We agreed I would write out the work for every other problem. He had a special place in his heart for the “advanced†kids and our class was self segregated. I was the only girl on my side with 8 or so boys ranging from 2 grades lower to two higher in an elective where this would never happen in “normal†classes. We had a ton of logic problems to work on and we competed to have the most right answers in the shorted amount of time and he kept feeding us them until he ran out. He even gave each of us a secret number and posted our grades for the whole class to see. We’d look to see whose number was on top. He would grade us over 100% based off the extra credit, though we understood that we would only get an A. After awhile, I took him aside and shared with him that some of us were bored. He asked if I could help some of the struggling students on the other side of the room, which I did when needed, and we were allowed to “hit the halls.†He knew dang well we’d be in band hitting the drums or practicing whichever instruments we played or in the library getting our homework done so we’d have our evenings to ourselves. THIS is how it SHOULD be. Sadly, most teachers do not know how to teach kids like this and most in turn on their students or shush their contribution. In similar situations with other teachers, we were forced to skip class, as we saw it, to work on more productive work. If they hunted down and drug us out of the library, we’d skip school during that hour.
I remember having a teacher once have “the talk†with me about how I was never going to make it in the real world. She was a “share your emotion and hug all the kids†type teacher. I wasn’t that type of person. She told me I was not “normal†because I did not spend my time gossiping with the other girls and she compared me to the “mature†students in her class. I then “retaliated,†as she put it, and I said, while I agreed that I did not actively engage in speaking badly about people not there to defend themselves, I did find it concerning that she would compare me to the girls who cried in her arms because they were late on their period and were terrified to tell their mom about possibly being pregnant. I said that not only are these girls not ready for the “real world†she was talking about yet were fully throwing themselves in, they were bringing children into the “real world†to moms who had no grasp of it. Some of the girls pregnant drank and did drugs as well during the pregnancy. I said that was scary, not only that this was happening, but an educator that were suppose to teach me the dangers of this, were asking me to be more involved with those who lived such dangerous lives. I told her the “real life†self esteem issues that these girls had could too easily be happening to me, just because the teacher I was suppose to look up to, told me that I had social problems vs. providing a healthy and open environment for all her students where I felt safe and confident for making decisions that were not unhealthy for myself. I thanked her for her opinion and told her I didn’t want to spend my time being irresponsible, I had my whole life ahead of me for that. She cried for me. She told me I had no empathy and was emotionless. I wished she was there in the morning before school some days to see my friends, and students who I wouldn’t call friends, cry on my shoulder because I was the only one with the strength to hold them up and the maturity to know what to say to help them through some of the worst times in their lives from being beat, raped, molested, having loved ones die, loved ones commit suicide, someone putting a gun to their head, parents divorce or get arrested for violence, situations these kids did not put themselves in. They said I was a “rock†for them and they admired me for my maturity and strength. I never understood most my teachers and I never will.
My experience with school was, I was bored, I skipped and still got all my work in with A’s, and was not allowed to graduate with honors because I missed too many classes, I “debated†my teachers whenever I knew they couldn’t out debate me, I got kicked out of class, required not to speak any idea in some classes, and overall, hated “school.†One the socialization aspect, while I got along with all students and knew all the kids by name from 7th through 12 grade, I did not care to hang out with most of them outside of school. They bored me and did not care to talk to me either about subjects I was interested in. They would ask me “Why do you care about that?†The few real close friends that I made, I skipped school with and had a blast with. Funny thing was, we never got into trouble for it. We were never caught and never were “troubled†kids so they had nothing on us. On the elementary school aspect, all I’ve got to say is, well it has to start somewhere. I did not have as much strength to stand up to my teachers and sat in the back fidgeting with my head down in the back of the class. I hated school more than and the only social problems I had were with the teachers constantly on me about not paying attention, not “taking my time†on my schoolwork (although it was correct and well written) and telling me I was not allowed to read books that interested me, although I remember sneaking some past my teachers to the librarian who had a twinkle in her eye when I checked them out. I remember getting detention, though I can only recall one situation that deemed it, eating lunch in the classroom with my teacher and being held in from recess, and I got to know the principle so well, I called him by first name. I did get sent to speech therapy classes, mostly because I did not speak much as I constantly got berated whenever I did. (Finally though, my third grade teacher decided I didn’t deserve special treatment. She asked me coming back to class one day, in front of all the students, “Why do you get special treatment?“ because I had some stickers in my hand. I told her “Because I don’t speak very well.“ She told me I would no longer be getting special treatment and she wanted me in class from then on. All the kids just glared at me.) Followed by the fourth grade where my music teacher held me back after sending the other students back to tell me that I was special and should be proud of that. Then my teacher made me explain that to the whole class when I got back. I was humiliated because the loud mouth made the comment for everyone to hear “That’s what adults tell the stupid kids so they feel good about themselves.“ I could have punched him, and the teacher. Whenever I asked questions, my teachers always told me I’d learn that next year, or in high school. I felt like I was being treated like I was stupid or like a baby so I did not have much respect for most of my teachers.
Weird, I prayed long and hard for my child to be “normal.†I did not want her to be like I was. After being terrified that I prayed a little too hard and she was actually behind, I felt guilty. Now I’m just stuck with no support. What do I do? Where do I turn? If the educators on this thread provide any clue, it is clearly not toward them. No one can relate and when I try to talk about any struggles we and our daughter have, those I should be able to turn to, turn their back.
I agree with the initial idea that most parents who think their kids are gifted have not had much time to compare their child’s achievements with a wide variety of children the same age. Truly highly gifted kids are rare and need more than most schools are willing to provide. Some parents however, will say that I say this because I somehow think my little girl is better than everyone else’s kid. I know one thing, my child is getting a one on one, tailored education that she excels in and develops her confidence, including the skill to talk with a wide range of people with a wide range of ideas. I know that there is no way my child would get that in the public schools in our area. I don’t hold back on topics like schools would because they don’t deem the subject to be age appropriate. If this truly more mature child is perceived to have “social problems†because my seven year old talk, thinks and act more like a prepubescent kid, if that makes others justify their prejudices and continue to shun me, the educator, at least I can deflect most of this torture from my child so she can continue to be confident with strong self esteem and grow up loving school as much as I love watching her learn.
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An AWESOME article:
To quote some of my favorite parts:
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[SIZE=3]Today, in defining those who need special services, the federal Jacob K. Javits Gifted and Talented Students Education Act never actually uses the word "gifted" -- a label deemed politically incorrect in some quarters because it stigmatizes those who don't qualify. Instead, statutory language talks about children "with outstanding talent" who perform or show the potential for performing "at remarkably high levels of accomplishment when compared with others of their age, experience or environment."[/SIZE]
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Last edited by toobusytoday; 04-02-2009 at 05:02 AM..
Reason: copyright
I prefer studies that show the truth, not "opinions" of those who claim to know more because they have a teaching degree. Here is a great example of many of the struggles that parents and educators alike have to face day to day with gifted kids.
Counseling, Multiple Exceptionality, and Psychological Issues
Title: Misdiagnosis and dual diagnosis of gifted childrenCitation: Abstracted from: Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults: ADHD, bipolar, OCD, Asperger's, depression, and other disorders. (2004) Scottsdale: Great Potential Press. Available from the publisher.Author: James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia E. Webb, Jean Goerss, Paul Beljan, F. Richard OlenchakDownload a printer-friendly version (PDF)
Many gifted and talented children (and adults) are being mis-diagnosed by psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, and other health care professionals. The most common mis-diagnoses are: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (OD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Mood Disorders such as Cyclothymic Disorder, Dysthymic Disorder, Depression, and Bi-Polar Disorder. These common mis-diagnoses stem from an ignorance among professionals about specific social and emotional characteristics of gifted children which are then mistakenly assumed by these professionals to be signs of pathology.
Last edited by toobusytoday; 04-02-2009 at 05:03 AM..
Reason: copyright
If your nine month old begins speaking in full sentences, you probably will not tell the child to stop and wait till other nine month olds catch up. You would not limit such a child to using nouns because that is as much speech as most nine month olds can handle. However, in public or private school that may be the approach some educators use.
Educating a highly gifted child in school is like clothing a 6X child in a store where the largest available garment is a 3 (or with a gifted program, a 3X). Parents have to resort to alterations or individual tailoring of whatever kind they can manage.
In dealing with school issues, it's important to remember that you know more about your child than anyone else. Y
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Conclusion
Raising a highly gifted child may be ecstasy, agony and everything between. Adults must perform almost impossible feats of balance - supporting a child's gifts without pushing, valuing without overinvesting, championing without taking over. It is costly, physically and emotionally draining, and intellectually demanding. In the first flush of pride, few parents realize that their task is in many ways similar to the task faced by parents of a child with severe handicaps. Our world does not accommodate differences easily, and it matters little whether the difference is perceived to be a deficit or an overabundance.
Last edited by toobusytoday; 04-02-2009 at 05:05 AM..
Reason: copyright
Raising a highly gifted child may be ecstasy, agony and everything between. Adults must perform almost impossible feats of balance - supporting a child's gifts without pushing, valuing without overinvesting, championing without taking over. It is costly, physically and emotionally draining, and intellectually demanding. In the first flush of pride, few parents realize that their task is in many ways similar to the task faced by parents of a child with severe handicaps. Our world does not accommodate differences easily, and it matters little whether the difference is perceived to be a deficit or an overabundance.
As is raising any child! Everything said above is true of raising children, period, even so-called "average" children.
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