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Hi everyone. I had a very unusual situation at my school today and I wanted to know how other people would have acted in this situation.
I was called in for a meeting with a parent by my principal. The child has had numerous confrontations with several teachers and other students (calling names, trying to start fights, insulting teachers, and so on). I wrote an office referral on the student detailing several incidents of name calling and disruptive behavior, which is why I was called down to the meeting.
Another teacher, who is not in a classroom all day but assumes a lot of other responsibilities throughout the school and is very well-respected, was called in to discuss the confrontations she had with the student. The parent basically implied that all of the teachers (myself included) were lying about the extent of her child's misbehaviors.
After a long period of time, the principal told the parent that she was going to have to meet with another teacher before the child would be admitted back to school. The parent refused, and the principal suspended the child. The parent went ballastic, screaming and cursing at the principal. The other teacher who was in the meeting with me walked out of the room, and after another several seconds, I followed her out while this parent continued on her tirade with the principal.
Now, many hours later, I'm wondering whether I should have remained in the room, at least as a witness to this parent's insanity. Before deciding, here are a few things to keep in mind...
My principal is quite lax when it comes to discipline. Suspensions are incredibly rare in my school.
The school is located in an urban district, in a high poverty area.
Among the district as a whole, the relationship between faculty and administration is acrimonious, to put it mildly. Collaboration between administration and faculty is virtually non-existent. The attitude among most of the administrators, including the principals and supervisors is "You'll do as you're told and we're not going to explain why because we don't have to do so. Do not waste our time asking questions or talking to us about concerns, because we don't care what you have to say. We're superior and you're inferior." (This really isn't an exaggeration.) My principal is actually one of the milder ones, but he definitely toes the district line when he feels the slightest inch of pressure from his superiors.
So, what should I have done? Was I right to leave the room with the other teacher, or should I have stayed? I'm thinking about asking my principal his thoughts on the matter, but that could backfire for the reasons listed above.
Thanks for your thoughts!
You should have stayed and filmed the incident. You would have earned some huge political capital. Leaving simply widened the gulf between admin and faculty. Son;t expect much sympathy from him in future incidents.
The Mom was going to go nuts regardless. Easier to blame everyone else. Calm voices an cool actions would have forced her to deal with her anger or leave by handcuffs.
You should have stayed and filmed the incident. You would have earned some huge political capital. Leaving simply widened the gulf between admin and faculty. Son;t expect much sympathy from him in future incidents.
The Mom was going to go nuts regardless. Easier to blame everyone else. Calm voices an cool actions would have forced her to deal with her anger or leave by handcuffs.
Really each class should have a spycam.
S.
I'm not worried about the relationship between my principal and me. This incident will not have an effect on that.
The rift between faculty and administration is district-wide. The problem is, too many of the administrators believe their staffs are psychic. Trust me when I tell you there are principals in this district who would have written up a teacher for insubordination for staying too long in a meeting like this, whether they directed them to leave or not. I sincerely doubt I would have received a formal reprimand, but a verbal one might have been possible.
And that's a big part of my struggle. I didn't know how my principal wanted us to respond to this, and I didn't know how he would have responded to me staying in the meeting after the other teacher (again, a well-respected teacher who is quite close to the principal) left.
Hi everyone. I had a very unusual situation at my school today and I wanted to know how other people would have acted in this situation.
I was called in for a meeting with a parent by my principal. The child has had numerous confrontations with several teachers and other students (calling names, trying to start fights, insulting teachers, and so on). I wrote an office referral on the student detailing several incidents of name calling and disruptive behavior, which is why I was called down to the meeting.
Another teacher, who is not in a classroom all day but assumes a lot of other responsibilities throughout the school and is very well-respected, was called in to discuss the confrontations she had with the student. The parent basically implied that all of the teachers (myself included) were lying about the extent of her child's misbehaviors.
After a long period of time, the principal told the parent that she was going to have to meet with another teacher before the child would be admitted back to school. The parent refused, and the principal suspended the child. The parent went ballastic, screaming and cursing at the principal. The other teacher who was in the meeting with me walked out of the room, and after another several seconds, I followed her out while this parent continued on her tirade with the principal.
Now, many hours later, I'm wondering whether I should have remained in the room, at least as a witness to this parent's insanity. Before deciding, here are a few things to keep in mind...
My principal is quite lax when it comes to discipline. Suspensions are incredibly rare in my school.
The school is located in an urban district, in a high poverty area.
Among the district as a whole, the relationship between faculty and administration is acrimonious, to put it mildly. Collaboration between administration and faculty is virtually non-existent. The attitude among most of the administrators, including the principals and supervisors is "You'll do as you're told and we're not going to explain why because we don't have to do so. Do not waste our time asking questions or talking to us about concerns, because we don't care what you have to say. We're superior and you're inferior." (This really isn't an exaggeration.) My principal is actually one of the milder ones, but he definitely toes the district line when he feels the slightest inch of pressure from his superiors.
So, what should I have done? Was I right to leave the room with the other teacher, or should I have stayed? I'm thinking about asking my principal his thoughts on the matter, but that could backfire for the reasons listed above.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Hind site is 20 20 don't blame yourself. Alot of people here are saying they would of done so and so or this or that. But the truth of the matter is this most people don't know how they will react until they are in a situation. Here you are giving them the information they needed because you have thought over your actions after the fact and givin your thoughts. If you would of came in here and said I walked out on a parent when she became Irate with the principal and then the child was supended and let me tell you it was for a good reason. Then the reactiion would of been different. But you in hind site said I should of stayed incase something could of happened. So now everyone reads this and thinks ya know what you have a good point (which you do by the way) and they now say they would stay because they have an option that makes better sense then leaving.
What would I have done in the situration. Honestly I don't know. I have to say I have walked out on certain siturations but not like that but then again I have had siturations that I stayed to see what happens. I can't say what I would of done in your place.
When I'm going to a conference with a parent who is likely to be confrontational, I have a microcassette recorder in my pocket to document any possible fireworks. Fortunately, it hasn't been necessary. But as you've seen some parents (especially those with volatile kids) tend to be irrational and in total denial about their kids' misbehavior.
If and when you meet the parents of disruptive students, it removes all doubt about where these kids learn their bad behavior. It isn't at school.
The principal and I are both male, and in solid physical shape. The other teacher was female. The parent was a mother, female. This is an elementary school, where the vast majority of the faculty is female. There really wasn't a concern about physical injury to anyone.
No matter the size or sex of the parent, I wouldn't discount her ability to do some damage if she'd a mind to. I've seen too many men who counted on their size being taken down by fairly small adolescents and adult females (lots of time working in Baker Act facilities).
IMO, it's better to never be the only person in a volatile meeting (or to put someone in that position), whether as a parent or as staff. Even leaving aside the physical aspect, all sorts of claims can be made, and it can turn into a complete mess for all involved.
Mind, I'm not a teacher. But I've been in enough meetings to know the potential for misunderstandings and for downright lunacy.
When I'm going to a conference with a parent who is likely to be confrontational, I have a microcassette recorder in my pocket to document any possible fireworks. Fortunately, it hasn't been necessary.
Good thing, because that's illegal.
If one party is taping a meeting, disciplinary or otherwise, they are required to notify the other party so that the other party is able to make their own recording (or make a request for an official copy).
If you taped a parent without his or her knowledge and tried to use it later, it would at best be inadmissable, and quite likely legally actionable. Same thing if a parent does it.
Good thing, because that's illegal.
If one party is taping a meeting, disciplinary or otherwise, they are required to notify the other party so that the other party is able to make their own recording (or make a request for an official copy).
If you taped a parent without his or her knowledge and tried to use it later, it would at best be inadmissable, and quite likely legally actionable. Same thing if a parent does it.
You are mistaken.
Texas
So long as a wire, oral, or electronic communication—including the radio portion of any cordless telephone call—is not recorded for a criminal or tortious purpose, anyone who is a party to the communication, or who has the consent of a party, can lawfully record the communication and disclose its contents. Texas Penal Code § 16.02.
Under the statute, consent is not required for the taping of a non-electronic communication uttered by a person who does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in that communication. See definition of “oral communication,” Texas Code Crim. Pro. Art. 18.20.
Good thing, because that's illegal.
If one party is taping a meeting, disciplinary or otherwise, they are required to notify the other party so that the other party is able to make their own recording (or make a request for an official copy).
If you taped a parent without his or her knowledge and tried to use it later, it would at best be inadmissable, and quite likely legally actionable. Same thing if a parent does it.
parents, students and
No reason to keep it hidden. Place a "spy cam" in the room with District, admin, parents, and students fully apprised. After a few days, students will forget. The camera will be seen a security device ratehr that a ploy for entrapment.
The alternative is much worse...apathy and danger.
Texas So long as a wire, oral, or electronic communication—including the radio portion of any cordless telephone call—is not recorded for a criminal or tortious purpose, anyone who is a party to the communication, or who has the consent of a party, can lawfully record the communication and disclose its contents. Texas Penal Code § 16.02. Under the statute, consent is not required for the taping of a non-electronic communication uttered by a person who does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in that communication. See definition of “oral communication,” Texas Code Crim. Pro. Art. 18.20.
Yet another reason to love Texas
Re: the OP's original question, I would have stayed in the room as a witness and to demonstrate moral support/united front as well as in case the confrontation turned physical and the principal needed some help. I think that it was a bit cowardly to leave the room, and the principal to deal with the matter by his or herself.
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What Would You Do?
