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I want him to do his best. If his grades reflect his best effort, then I am pleased. A,B,C,D U grades don't start until fourth grade and our schools don't grade on a percentage scale. There are effort grades that go along with the achievement grades. No plus or minus grades.
Do you care about straight A's or A's in general? Are you looking for progress? Good habits? I'm curious because several of my mom friends seem really worried about anything below an A on the report card. On the one hand, our school's curriculum is a little weak, IMO, but the grading scale is high - the 93-85-78-70 model. I'm wondering how you determine if your child is doing well.
Well, we homeschool, but our child does a course through distance education. We look for mastery of the material and outstanding effort, essentially. When we're working on a project, we want to make sure our child has followed all of the specified directions, has exceeded the minimum expectations (if exceeding them is acceptable), truly understands the material, and performs at the best level possible. Any grade that accurately reflects mastery is sufficient. Does that help?
As high a GPA as possible. GPA is one component that will determine which schools they get into and whether or not scholarships will be offered.
I'm happy with a 3.5 from dd#1 but dd#2 had better bring home straight A's once she hits high school. She gets the occaisional B now because she won't do what a teacher asks (usually, it's some nonsense like her current english teacher who insists that a paragraph has, exactly, 7 sentences). I've already told her that changes in 9th grade because her grades will matter too much.
Both my parents are/were educators. I was not pressured to get all As. The expectation was definitely there to put forth notable effort, however. My parents were understanding of the one particular subject I struggled with, and I knew that I would never be critiqued for bringing home Cs in that class, IF I was easily observable as really having working my butt off for those Cs. My parents were big on effort, not necessarily grades. But, let's be honest, most of the time, grades really DO reflect effort. Not always, but overall. They also were HUGE sticklers for comments on conduct and behavior. I'd be far more in the dog house if my report card noted that "Tabula Rasa spends an inordinate amount of class time socializing with her friends and is rarely prepared for class," than I would be for a grade lower than an A with positive comments. And, again, let's be honest. Conducting yourself appropriately typically also ties into the whole "getting better grades" thing. You're more likely to excel when you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. I was aware that if I wanted more freedom to attend college anywhere I wanted to, I'd need a very competitive GPA to secure the necessary scholarships and admission. But my parents didn't cram that down my throat, either. Probably because they didn't have to.
Excellent grades can mean many things. Among those, they can mean that:
-Learner is very intelligent and completes work as required/above and beyond what is required.
-Learner is not being challenged enough/necessarily learning much he/she didn't already essentially know, and is underachieving, but doing the minimum necessary to get by and it's good enough.
-Relatedly, teacher/school has low expectations.
-Learner is very adept at rote memorization.
When my child brings home all A's and no homework, I expect an explanation of her classroom participation: is she moving past the quick answer, is she asking probing questions and making connections. A's along with hard work need no explanation, just praise and recognition that the hard work made a different.
When my child brings home lower grades, I look for the reason, and react accordingly. A lower grade because of missing assignments or low effort is completely different than a lower grade because that subject is just hard for that child.
As other posters pointed out, it is important to see how and what the teacher is grading.
I am an educator and a single parent of a gifted 4th grade child. I expect my child to be accountable for his own actions. I allow for a degree of failure on his part and step in to help him when needed. It is a learning process that I have seen many parents fail in. They monitor their children so closely that they (the child) never learn to be self sufficient. I know that might seem hash for a fourth grader, but, when do we stop coddling a child and begin to teach him/her lessons that will help them in the future? Am I being unreasonable?
I am an educator and a single parent of a gifted 4th grade child. I expect my child to be accountable for his own actions. I allow for a degree of failure on his part and step in to help him when needed. It is a learning process that I have seen many parents fail in. They monitor their children so closely that they (the child) never learn to be self sufficient. I know that might seem hash for a fourth grader, but, when do we stop coddling a child and begin to teach him/her lessons that will help them in the future? Am I being unreasonable?
Not at all. 5th grade is when I begin to make my kids more responsible for their own schoolwork. They need to get a handle on this BEFORE high school which is when their grades start to count. It's best for them to experience bumps in 5-8th grade when the grades really mean nothing than to stumble in high school when their grades will be scrutinized by colleges.
I am an educator and a single parent of a gifted 4th grade child. I expect my child to be accountable for his own actions. I allow for a degree of failure on his part and step in to help him when needed. It is a learning process that I have seen many parents fail in. They monitor their children so closely that they (the child) never learn to be self sufficient. I know that might seem hash for a fourth grader, but, when do we stop coddling a child and begin to teach him/her lessons that will help them in the future? Am I being unreasonable?
I agree with you. I guess I would rather see my son earn B's than have myself help him earn A's. I am feeling right now more like I know my role as mom, and I can't do it for him. He's got to figure some of these things out for himself. Of course I'm involved and supportive and interested, but compared to some of my friends I just don't feel like I'm pulling the puppet strings the way they are.
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