Race relations in E. TN. (Memphis, Knoxville: transfer, place to live, to move)

[S.Joel]

I am hoping someone can give me some feedback...My husband may be transfering to Knoxville. We are looking at areas all around the city. Trying to find someplace like we live in now-wooded, a little rural but still close to a moderately sized town, nice small town feel-friendly. We are an interracial couple with 2 kids. The town we live in now is predominantly white(Twain Harte Ca.) and that is no big deal one way or the other for either of us. My husband grew up here with no problems as a black man. Does race seem to be much of an issue at all for most people? I know that sometimes some folks have particular issues with interracial relationships. I really ask more for the sake of my kids. Being adults, my husband and I can blow off any unpleasant attitudes we may encounter? It is a question I would ask wherever I were to move, especially an area unfamiliar to me. I have to say we really never have had any unpleasant situations to deal with aside from some extended family members that once made their disapproval known. So I generally don't expect problems. I would love to hear what anyone thinks. I know it can be a delicate issue but would love the feedback. Thanks.

[hiknapster]

People will tell you to stick closer to the cities. That is pretty much true.

However, your kids may still have issues. I worked with a woman whose son was bi-racial, and the kids were nasty to him, calling him the "N" word. They moved from Detroit and were in the Halls area of Knoxville.

My daughter's best friend is bi-racial. She has been called a "N" lover. She is seven-year-old. However, it has been a fantastic life lesson for her.

Personally, I find Mid-Westerners to be much more prejudiced than Southerners. That doesn't mean it is perfect here, though.

We will never find a perfect place with perfect people.

[S.Joel]

I have to say that puts a damper on my enthusiasm. My kids have never heard the N. word thus far. I know I can't shield them forever. I just want them to have a really strong sense of self before they encounter such ugliness. I suppose it is naive of me to think we might not face comments like that. I guess we have been fortunate, If anyone has felt that way in our hometown they have kept it to themselves. And none of the children my 8yr. old son is around has ever said anything like that either. Like you said, no perfect place nor people. TN....overall still anice and decent place to live???(she thought, hopefully)

[strumpeace]

I've lived in TN most of my life. Your daughter will probably hear the 'n' word from time to time -- from young black people, rap music, and black comedians. Those are the only folks I've ever heard use that word.

Knoxville, btw, is a lovely place with lovely people -- a very well educated population. You should do just fine there.

Best wishes.

[hiknapster]

I agree that there are wonderful people here. Absolutely.

And the chances of an adult saying it to your face will be very rare, if ever. But be assured that racism is here, it just may be behind your back. Children aren't so coy.

Do I think it will happen all the time? Of course not. But I bet that it will happen at some point.

Yes. There are many well-educated people here. But be forewarned that there also many that are un-educated, unenlightened, whatever you want to call it.

And their Christian values fly in the face of this ignorance. My husband once worked with a young man that often quoted scripture, but would say the "N" word at the drop of a hat. I called him on it and he admitted that it wasn't exactly "What Jesus Would Do."

He said he'd work on it.

I've also come across a few cases of reverse discrimination, too.

Let's face it. It's the South. Still, I think all and all people around here, for the most part, are really trying to mesh. I work in an environment that is extremely diverse.

I think that if you move here it would be a good experience. You can't shelter your kids the rest of their lives. Maybe facing this while they are young, and you are around, is the best thing.

And by the way, I kind of feel like the previous poster is calling me a liar. I really do. And it has hurt my feelings.

[S.Joel]

You are right they cannot be sheltered forever. There are many harsh realities they will have to face. I am just trying to make sure I wont be throwing them into the wolves den-so to speak. I am sure you are right about adults-often make their comments when you are out of earshot. Just as well, as long as the same people are not acting like your best pal in front of you. Though it may be unfortunate, I supppose it is likely that we may encounter some form of racism/prejudice. I still tend to look for the best in people and most of the time I have been fortunate enough to find it. Here is hoping that continues to be true. Oh, as far as the reverse discrimination goes...in my thoughts it is all the same so when I ask for feedback I am wondering about potential problems on both sides of the coin. I am truly thankful for these perspectives and would welcome more opinions. It is so helpful to see what people in TN think and experience. Thanks again.

[hiknapster]

It looks like strumpeace lives in Memphis. You might want to consider that.

[knoxgarden]

There are a lot of biracial couples and kids in Knoxville. A majority of the people you will meet or see on the street won't give you a second look.
You can meet nasty and prejudiced people anywhere in the world. Kids, in particular, can be mean, whether it's about race, or size, or wearing glasses, or anything that makes a kid "different."

[strumpeace]

Hiknapster --

I did not call you a 'liar.' In fact, I did not address your posts at all. I was responding directly to the OP based on my own experiences. I can't honestly say that I even read your previous posts. I don't remember doing so. I cannot--and did not attempt to--attest to your experiences. My post dealt solely with my own.

[JMT]

For what it's worth: I have close friends who are a biracial couple (he's white, she's black). They have a child. They tell me that they are very happy here, that they have not experienced any racism whatsoever. Their child has lots of friends, almost all white. They live in Fountain City.

I also have some black students from Memphis who love Knoxville and have zero desire to go back to Memphis. They tell me that there's a lot more racism in Memphis (both black and white racism) than there is in Knoxville.