Should I move to the south? (Memphis, Knoxville: fit in, house, employment) - Tennessee (TN) - City-Data Forum

MLF2013 · 10-05-2013, 01:36 PM

I was born and raised in Cincinnati, OH. I've known for awhile that I wanted to move to another state. For the longest time I had my heart set on northern Virginia, but lately the idea of moving down south, particularly Tennessee, has been becoming more and more appealing everyday. I'm not planning on moving for a couple years, but I just wanted to hear about life in Tennessee before I make a decision. I really only have one concern that would be an absolute deal breaker. I'm half black and my boyfriend is white. I've heard things about the south still being a bit racially divided, mostly outside of the bigger cities. I just wanted to hear from people who actually live down there and know the areas. I've heard that it's mostly the older folks who are just set in their ways and I've seen that up here in Cincinnati too. I know that there are bigots everywhere, but I don't want to live where the majority are. Are there certain areas that are more racist than others? I've lived with and around mostly white people my whole life, so I'm not really concerned with the area being very diverse, as long as everyone is friendly and accepting. If I do move, then this will be a place that I want to live for a long time and start a family, so I want to be in a place that I'll be happy in and I know is a good place to raise kids that are happy and know how to act right.

Any other information/fun facts about Tennessee would be great! Like, are there any unique things about different areas? Here in Cincinnati we have Skyline Chili, which usually comes off as pretty bizarre to people who aren't from around here. Anything you all have to say is welcome, thanks!

jabogitlu · 10-05-2013, 06:05 PM

There's lots of unique things about different areas but comparing Tennessee to Cincinnati is like comparing Nashville to Ohio. Maybe research Memphis, Nashville, Chattanooga, Knoxville, and Tri-Cities to see which general area of Tennessee you're interested in moving to?

I can't imagine you'd face any different kind of discrimination here (with regards to race) compared to Ohio. I interact with black, white, Indian, Chinese, Iranian people every day. Some of the less populated areas are more statistically white. I grew up in one of those areas and really never saw much of an issue. My high school history teacher / coach was white, married to a black woman and they were well thought of in the community.

There might be a few bastions of "old, old, old" school Southern thought about race. Those're gonna be limited to deep in the Delta and deep in Appalachia. Think far, far away from major highways and metropolitan areas. Otherwise, we're about "on par" with the rest of the nation in our thinking. There are other issues -- like many black populations have been historically marginalized, so they have lower educational attainment, lower income, etc. This is a huge issue in Memphis. But in actual discriminatory thinking, there's very, very little.

kikikans · 10-05-2013, 06:25 PM

I think the south gets a bad rap in that department. I lived in that area as a child for a few years but I haven't anything to add about it that someone living there now wouldn't do a much better job at. I will say that I remember it was a great experience. I have lived in VA for eight years up until recently. I like the state. I loved living near the beach and was a few hours from the mountains. People there are relatively friendly, much nicer and sociable than MD unless you settle in N. Va. which can be just as stand offish as Md. Not trying to knock Md but I am from TX and it was a huge culture shock moving from TX to Md but a pleasant surprise coming down to Va from there. What made you decide on Va in the first place and then change to TN? I think the thing to ask yourself before settling on a place to permanently move is what are your goals in moving. Have you visited these locations? If not, what draws you to them? What kind of weather are you looking for? I have lived all over the place from some of the hottest to some of the coldest and from those experiences I can say I want to move to a place with four season but with milder summers, near mountains and water. Va and TN will give you mountains but Va will give you ocean as well. Can you find gainful employment in these locations and if so which cities? If you are looking for a small town but can only get a job in a large city then you either have to consider commuting or changing locations. Is this a place your boyfriend is moving to as well? If so can he find gainful employment and does he have preferences such as climate and location? As for the race issue I think that it's unlikely you will run into anything in either area you won't run into somewhere else if at all. Does that make sense? lol But I will say that Va (particularly Hampton Roads/Chesapeake/ Virginia Beach and New Port News areas) are culturally diverse and have many bi racial families and couples. It may be due to it's high population of military and college students. I hope this helps and that you find a place you can love to call home for a long time.

Shalako · 10-06-2013, 08:43 PM

It's up to you, but there are a lot of interracial marriages in tn and no one pays any attention to it. These marriages are almost exclusively between Black men and white women.

mjtinmemphis · 10-22-2013, 05:13 AM

As with Ohio, it depends on what part of the state you're looking at.

When I go to Midwest cities like Cincinnati, I see many interracial families. If this is your gauge, I would recommend Nashville. Even then stay within certain areas. I know there are some rural areas in west Tennessee around Jackson that are very friendly to interracial families more so then where I'm at in Chicago. It would be impossible to label a whole state as good or bad or say its going to be conducive to your families needs because the state differs from city to city.

I personally didn't like Tennessee because I also grew up in the Midwest. I have what's is viewed by local southerners as a tell it like it is mentality. I expect the same in return but never got it.

Another issue I had was with the work ethic. My idea is to find what I want and get it done. Don't show up at my house at 530 when our appointment was at 4 and let it take you 45 minutes to do a 15 minute job. I will shut you down very quick and ask you to leave. That is not being rude its about business and time commitment.

I had a part time job working retail outside of Memphis and many customers would point out I wasn't from around here. Or say I wasn't southern. To them you will never fit in.

Many want to say that the south is so far behind the north in terms of race relations and that isn't true at all! Detroit, New York City, Chicago and Milwaukee are consistently in the top cities for segregation! So to expect to experience racism in Tennessee that is far worse than what you have experienced in Ohio should not be a concern.

DubbleT · 10-22-2013, 05:49 AM

As far as someone from the north 'fitting in' I think it depends on how willing you are to adapt. I'm from MI and I've never had a problem with that. But then again I've never taken the attitude that I expect people here to conform to 'northern ' ways.
The work ethic, yep, it can drive you a little crazy. The tell it like it is mentality can seem rude and abrupt to many southeners, it's not the way things are done here. If you can't adjust to those things then it does make it much harder to fit in.

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If you do decide to move here be prepared to hear "you're not from around here are you?" A lot! And as soon as they find out that you're a Yankee it only takes a split second for their tiny pea brains to label/categorize you & put you on the ignore list.

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many customers would point out I wasn't from around here. Or say I wasn't southern. To them you will never fit in.

People notice the accent difference, it's just an observation. It happens everywhere, not just in the south. Jeez, I got comments on my accent when we moved from IN to MI. So did the little girl in middle school who moved to MI from GA. People who take offense at such remarks are probably better off never leaving the region they grow up in.

N.Cal · 10-22-2013, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Another issue I had was with the work ethic. My idea is to find what I want and get it done. Don't show up at my house at 530 when our appointment was at 4 and let it take you 45 minutes to do a 15 minute job. I will shut you down very quick and ask you to leave. That is not being rude its about business and time commitment.

Or even show up at all!!!!!

hiknapster · 10-22-2013, 06:59 AM

I've never found a problem with work ethics in Knoxville. People work very, very hard around here. I found the same in Mass. In Florida, it was awful, especially down in the southwest portion of the state. Of course most of the people there are from the Midwest. Take that for what it's worth.

swfl_ff · 10-22-2013, 09:10 AM

I know from which you speak hiknapster. I currently live in SW Florida and cannot wait to get out. We are moving up to Tn next spring/summer. It cannot happen soon enough for me. I have lived in SW Fl for over 35 years now and it has changed so much. The attitudes and work ethics are something else here. This use to be a very nice area but it has been overrun with people with bad attitudes who want to change everything about the area. They know better than us and are not afraid to tell you.

Personally when we move up there I have no intention what so ever to try and change anything about the area. My plan is to just go along to get along. Why would I want to change anything?

hiknapster · 10-22-2013, 10:56 AM

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Originally Posted by swfl_ff

I know from which you speak hiknapster. I currently live in SW Florida and cannot wait to get out. We are moving up to Tn next spring/summer. It cannot happen soon enough for me. I have lived in SW Fl for over 35 years now and it has changed so much. The attitudes and work ethics are something else here. This use to be a very nice area but it has been overrun with people with bad attitudes who want to change everything about the area. They know better than us and are not afraid to tell you.

Personally when we move up there I have no intention what so ever to try and change anything about the area. My plan is to just go along to get along. Why would I want to change anything?

That's the way I've felt, and I beautifully fit in. You'll love it here because you have the right attitude!