Does anyone else feel the same way about Tennessee as I do? (Memphis: to rent, violent crime)

[seeking2bHappy]

I am a Tennessee native. I was born in Knoxville, and a significant portion of my life has been spent living in east Tennessee. I lived near Atlanta for 8 years of my adolescent life and 4 months in Colorado.

There are no words that can describe how much I hate it here in Tennessee. I have had many, many setbacks living here and I feel as if I have a black cloud lingering over my head. My transition into young adulthood has been an absolute nightmare.

I have Aspergers, which is an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I find it very difficult to maintain employment. I have held 17 different jobs within a short duration. People here are very judgemental, opinionated, unforgiving, quick to draw conclusions, and close-minded. The "good ole boy" system runs rampant here. While Tennessee and the south are not exactly what you see in satires and films, this state is very backwards in many ways.

Tennessee ranks poorly in terms of mental health. Mental illness I feel is often shunned here. While I am very thankful I don't have issues with addiction or anything like that, drugs and alcoholism is very widespread here.

I have difficulties finding good mental health services here. Anything complex beyond minor mental illnesses with easy medication management is difficult to find adequate treatment for. I have a difficulties responding to medications and often times deal with severe mental illness. Finding specialized treatment is difficult.

If you leave certain viscinities, you will quickly find yourself in places full of poverty and trailers.

Tennessee may be great if you are a retiree or a business owner. Anyone else is not as fortunate.

[TheShadow]

I moved to Tennessee in retirement, so you may feel my experience isn't relevant, per your last line of your post, but here it is. I've lived in California and Oklahoma before moving here 5 years ago. The people in Tennessee are much kinder and more giving than the people I've met in the any other state I've traveled to (20 or so states), or lived in. The unemployment in TN is very low compared to most of the country. Alcoholism and drugs are rampant everywhere in the country. Gang violence is very predominant in many parts of the country. Violent crime of the non-gang variety (which is low here, except in domestic incidents) is crazy in many states of the country. There is no perfect place. Your situation is definitely made more difficult by your Autism Spectrum Disorder, but that would probably be true in most places.

If you felt more comfortable in Atlanta or CO, then maybe a move is in your best interest. It's worth a shot anyway. I know for certain that it's a lot easier to move when you're young and have fewer things and people to tie you down. It's possible that a new place might offer more mental health services, that's something you will want to investigate prior to making a move. It may be that a fresh start will give you a new perspective. I wish you well, and I hope you find your happy place. I know I found mine here in TN.

[AppalachianAngler]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I think your feelings are true for most any place in the south (except for the major cities).

It sounds like you need somewhere more progressive. Denver is an awesome, liberal city. But there is nowhere that is a utopia. You are not going to escape people with drug & alcohol problems. You will find a bunch of homeless drunks in downtown Denver just as you might find a group of drunks in a trailer park in TN. And you will find a bunch of trailers several miles outside of Denver just as you would outside of Knoxville.

What do you like to do for fun?

[seeking2bHappy]

Originally Posted by AppalachianAngler

Sorry to hear about your situation. I think your feelings are true for most any place in the south (except for the major cities).

It sounds like you need somewhere more progressive. Denver is an awesome, liberal city. But there is nowhere that is a utopia. You are not going to escape people with drug & alcohol problems. You will find a bunch of homeless drunks in downtown Denver just as you might find a group of drunks in a trailer park in TN. And you will find a bunch of trailers several miles outside of Denver just as you would outside of Knoxville.

What do you like to do for fun?

You raised an excellent point. Denver does have a lot of homeless people.

I rather go somewhere where people are not as uptight and are more accepting and easy going.

For fun? I don't have any hobbies really. I am not very social. I never had a girlfriend. I invest a lot of my time learning to code and programming. Web development specifically

[jjbradleynyc]

Originally Posted by seeking2bHappy

I am a Tennessee native. I was born in Knoxville, and a significant portion of my life has been spent living in east Tennessee. I lived near Atlanta for 8 years of my adolescent life and 4 months in Colorado.

There are no words that can describe how much I hate it here in Tennessee. I have had many, many setbacks living here and I feel as if I have a black cloud lingering over my head. My transition into young adulthood has been an absolute nightmare.

I have Aspergers, which is an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I find it very difficult to maintain employment. I have held 17 different jobs within a short duration. People here are very judgemental, opinionated, unforgiving, quick to draw conclusions, and close-minded. The "good ole boy" system runs rampant here. While Tennessee and the south are not exactly what you see in satires and films, this state is very backwards in many ways.

Tennessee ranks poorly in terms of mental health. Mental illness I feel is often shunned here. While I am very thankful I don't have issues with addiction or anything like that, drugs and alcoholism is very widespread here.

I have difficulties finding good mental health services here. Anything complex beyond minor mental illnesses with easy medication management is difficult to find adequate treatment for. I have a difficulties responding to medications and often times deal with severe mental illness. Finding specialized treatment is difficult.

If you leave certain viscinities, you will quickly find yourself in places full of poverty and trailers.

Tennessee may be great if you are a retiree or a business owner. Anyone else is not as fortunate.

So sorry to hear about the difficulties you have had or been having.

However, I don't know if your situation is necessarily one that can point to Tennessee as the overall problem. What is your field of work? If you are not in a larger city, and if you are in a specialized field, it will be difficult to get a job. As far as the mental health issues go, again, if you are in a rural area, and not so close to larger cities, I can see why that is limiting for you.

Tennessee may not be the ideal location for you, but remember, all geographic areas have their own respective problems and there is no perfect paradise.

As an old wise mentor of mine once said to me:
"no matter where you move to, there with yourself you are."

[Hawkeye12]

Sorry about your difficulties but you should try California. It has everything you described except ten times worse. On top of that you better have a job that pays extremely well or you just cannot make it. We pay a dollar fifty a gallon more for just for gas. You cannot find a place to rent that is even half way descent for under a 1,000.00 per month plus utilities. Drugs, alcohol is everywhere in this state. People are leaving in droves , at least the middle class. It is become horrible. People are at each others throats, not happy, vindictive. It is a war in this state. Hope things get better.

[seeking2bHappy]

Eww...California. No.

[marino760]

It's been my experience that it's quite normal for many people to hate where they grew up. They often see it as oppressive and have bad memories growing up there and they want out.
I know someone through the internet who grew up in a smallish town. The town has many positive things going for it and has won several national awards for various things including their local college and downtown area.
I found out he grew up in that town so I emailed him asking him about retiring there. He sent me a lengthy email back telling me how much he hated that town, is so glad to be gone from there and gave me a list of everything negative about it while he was growing up. It's very personal to some people no matter what the state or town is or it's positives.

[DubbleT]

Originally Posted by marino760

It's been my experience that it's quite normal for many people to hate where they grew up. They often see it as oppressive and have bad memories growing up there and they want out.

I totally agree with that. A lot of thinking that the grass must be greener somewhere else, and then if they get the opportunity to live in a few other places the realization hits that every place has it's own set of problems.
OP what you hate here isn't unique to Tennessee or the south. I grew up in the midwest and I have lived in a lot of different states and in various sized cities, and none of them were perfect, many had the same kinds of problems you mention.

I think anyone who has complex health issues of any kind would do well to make that a priority when looking for their ideal spot, as the level of expertise to address those kinds of concerns is not usually widely available, especially in smaller towns and cities.

[Serious Conversation]

Like anywhere, it largely depends on your personal circumstances.

Tennessee is a very low tax state overall and doesn't spend a lot of money comparatively on social services. Mental health services are sorely needed across the country, doubly so in rural areas and places that aren't doing well economically.

If you're sitting in Franklin or Brentwood, your life experience is going to be way different than someone in Cocke County or a bad neighborhood of Memphis.