So Many Moving to Tennessee WHATS THE EFFECT? (live, cars)

[nichirenx]

This forum piqued my interest.
Then I read about the areas people were moving to, who the people were, and why and I understood.
I just knew they were not talking about moving to Memphis. Unless they are coming from a third world nation. Being a Memphis resident, unless your financial base allows you to live on the far outskirts, it just is not worth it. The crime is ridiculous.
I have been trying to get transferred out for the past two years. Hopefully it finally works out.
I would retire to middle or east TN though.

[pythonis]

Originally Posted by lagoon7

They ignore everyone, like coming out to get the mail when I'm in the yard working...just a straight march to the mailbox and back, eyes on the ground.

I do the same thing. Ive got stuff to do I cant waste time standing there talking to you about trivial stuff and I dont feel like talking politics or anything either. As my Grandmother called it "going down to the fence post" is something we just dont do here anymore.

[jimj]

Originally Posted by pythonis

I do the same thing. Ive got stuff to do I cant waste time standing there talking to you about trivial stuff and I dont feel like talking politics or anything either. As my Grandmother called it "going down to the fence post" is something we just dont do here anymore.

And what a pity that really is as well as a sad description of what society has become.

[hiknapster]

I don't know where "here" is for pythonis but we sure do it in my "here" - Knoxville.

[2mares]

Originally Posted by pythonis

I do the same thing. Ive got stuff to do I cant waste time standing there talking to you about trivial stuff and I dont feel like talking politics or anything either. As my Grandmother called it "going down to the fence post" is something we just dont do here anymore.

Someone once told me that the only thing we really have is time, and that is only borrowed.

At the end of the day the few minutes here and there spent conversing with my neighbors (or complete strangers), no matter how trivial the content may seem at the moment, is more comforting than all the stuff I chased around all day.

Originally Posted by hiknapster

I don't know where "here" is for pythonis but we sure do it in my "here" - Knoxville.

We do a lot of it in my neck of the woods too.

[pythonis]

I stopped trying to be "neighborly"- walking outside and talking to the neighbors for an hour or so- a long time ago. Maybe if i was like in my 60s and my neighbors were as well but i dont know them and they dont know me. I cant think of how else to put it w/o being warned of violations from a mod.

[lagoon7]

Originally Posted by pythonis

I do the same thing. Ive got stuff to do I cant waste time standing there talking to you about trivial stuff and I dont feel like talking politics or anything either. As my Grandmother called it "going down to the fence post" is something we just dont do here anymore.

Oh trust me, I'm not like "Wilson" from that old show Home Improvement or anything, but I like to at least acknowledge my neighbors. I think it's sad that people ignore each other these days...people seem to be more interested in whatever is on their iPhone than anything else.

[2mares]

Originally Posted by pythonis

I stopped trying to be "neighborly"- walking outside and talking to the neighbors for an hour or so- a long time ago. Maybe if i was like in my 60s and my neighbors were as well but i dont know them and they dont know me. I cant think of how else to put it w/o being warned of violations from a mod.

How do you ever get to know people if you dont stop and talk to them?

The southern friendliness is something many ppl like about this area, I guess for some like yourself it is just uncomfortable or too much effort. I hope that the majority of ppl moving to TN embrace it, eventually. The ones I know certainly have.

[jimj]

Originally Posted by 2mares

How do you ever get to know people if you dont stop and talk to them?

The southern friendliness is something many ppl like about this area, I guess for some like yourself it is just uncomfortable or too much effort. I hope that the majority of ppl moving to TN embrace it, eventually. The ones I know certainly have.

To add to this, one of the biggest reasons we're leaving this area is the attitude Pythonis describes is prevalent in this neighborhood. Until we moved here nobody talked to each other, everyone in their little world ignoring the people not 20 feet away or taking walks and just walking by people either looking at the ground or somewhere else. When we first moved in we started taking walks around the area for excersize, stopping to say hi or at least good evening when we encountered people. We were shocked when they told us we're the first to ever say anything since they'd lived here.
To us, it's important to foster some kind of communication with those who are in close proximity day in and day out for one major reason. We believe that it is our duty as part of the human race to help people who we know are in need. An example, the couple that lives behind us. They are in their middle 60's, nice couple and we just happened to start talking to them across the back fence about a year ago. The husband had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and the wife was obviously upset and trying to deal with what was to come. We watched as he (in the span of a few months) went from a funny talkative person to just a shell. Needless to say the wife was devastated and from the start had sworn to take care of him believing that he'd get better. We'd talk, and started a ritual of passing food we'd made (purposely making "too much for us to eat") over what became the "food fence" and quickly becoming her sounding board and shoulder for her to cry on. We helped her make the final decision to put him in hospice before she killed herself trying to care for him. He died soon after as we thought he would. We've never,ever seen someone go down hill so fast, in a matter of months from start to end. She's now a dear friend who just needs somebody to just be around as she adjusts to life without her mate of 40 odd years.
If we hadn't bothered to say hi and start fence chatting a year ago we would've never had the opportunity to help someone who was clearly in pain and who could've easily destroyed herself from being alone and just needed "friends" who unlike family had no expectations or thoughts of gain (as family usually does when someone dies) other than friendship. We value this friendship very highly and know it will continue even after we move.

Personally, I'm glad we take the time as it usually (not always) enriches our lives. Do we meet some rotten people? Sure, there's always some of that but the good ones outweigh the bad ones, at least so far besides, as I said before it's our job as fellow human beings. If we all stop trying to connect then what have we become?

On this note I guess I've got to say;
Merry Christmas to all... There's a reason to the season!

[pythonis]

What I cant understand is the reason for wanting to become best friends with everyone on the block. Is there something wrong with wanting to keep to yourself? Sure I'll wave at someone driving down the road but Im not going to flag them down to ask them about their family and invite them to dinner. I see someone I'll say "Hi how ya doin'?" they say "Oh just fine" and thats the extent of it for both of us. My wife tells of relatives that live out west who say ppl will get out of their cars at a stop sign and talk to each other for 10 minutes. Ummm no sorry I just cant do that.