Why am I scared to move? (to rent, house, find a job)

[cmjones311]

I've been interested in moving to Texas for as long as I can remember, even though I'd never been there until this past year. My visit was short, so I didn't see a lot, but I know that I still want to move there because I feel that I'll be happier in general for a few different reasons.

But the thing is, I'm scared to death, for some reason, and I think my fear is going to get the best of me and I'm going to chicken out.

Here, I have family a few hours away from where I live, a decent job, and a home of my own. I can't sell my house because I'm underwater, so I'd need to rent it out, and I'm afraid that I'll get in over my head with money issues if there are tenant problems. I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a job making the kind of money I'm making here, and I'd have to start over from scratch. And even though from what I saw I liked Texas, I wouldn't be able to live exactly where I visited, and would have to be around an hour away in a larger city (work opportunities), so what if I don't like actually living in the city? And even though I only see my family 3 or 4 times a year, I know that they're there only a car ride away if I need them.

How do you get over fears like these?

[David Dollar]

It sounds like you are better off staying where you are. Well unless you live in North Dakota or Oklahoma.

[txsizzler]

I agree with David. Until you get a better idea of what you want to do, and how you can LOGICALLY justify such a move (with economics, and other responsibilities in mind), you should just make the best of your current situation, and learn to be happy with your enviornment.


Ian

[cmjones311]

Well, I'm in Ohio now, and have health issues that are exacerbated greatly with the cold. I literally go to work and go home during the winter, so I pretty much have no life from November to March. That's the number one reason I need to move. My life is passing me by while I"m at home under 5 blankets and doped up on pain meds because the cold bothers me so much 5 months of the year.

I've never really liked the city I moved to 7 years ago for work, and it's never felt like "home". The people are not hospitable at all, and it's really difficult to make friends. I feel like I've dated every available man in the city, lol, and the guys here just aren't my type. I prefer more "country" boys, and you just don't find that around here! I just feel like I'm being kept down here, like I've done it all and experienced it all, and there's nothing left in this city for me. It's gotten very boring.

I love the weather in Texas, the food (I could eat BBQ and Mexican every day for the rest of my life), the people are so much nicer, I love Hispanic culture, there's more nature/water in the Hill Country areas to enjoy, and I just feel like it would be a new start to make new friends, get a new job, and either renew an old relationship that ended because of the distance or start fresh with new and different types of men.

So, see the issue?

[jtur88]

"On you death bed, you will not regret anything you did. Only the things you did not do." ---Mark Twain

[CptnRn]

Originally Posted by cmjones311

But the thing is, I'm scared to death, for some reason, and I think my fear is going to get the best of me and I'm going to chicken out.

Here, I have family a few hours away from where I live, a decent job, and a home of my own. I can't sell my house because I'm underwater, so I'd need to rent it out, and I'm afraid that I'll get in over my head with money issues if there are tenant problems. I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a job making the kind of money I'm making here, and I'd have to start over from scratch. And even though from what I saw I liked Texas, I wouldn't be able to live exactly where I visited, and would have to be around an hour away in a larger city (work opportunities), so what if I don't like actually living in the city? And even though I only see my family 3 or 4 times a year, I know that they're there only a car ride away if I need them.

How do you get over fears like these?

Those are not irrational fears, they are legitimate concerns. There are good reasons to have those concerns. Moving here could be good for your health, but not if you end up destitute as a result of it. You should not move here without having a job lined up first, unless you have a lot of savings to fall back on.

[kenshi]

Do make sure you're prepared when you move here. You don't want to get here and be in a desperate situation right off the bat, especially during this recession. But don't let a little fear keep you from moving altogether. jtur88's quote is very truthful.

[badhornet]

If you dont have a job lined up then I wouldnt even worry about it. Stay where your at. More than likely you will start at the bottom if you do find something

[High_Plains_Retired]

Jtur88's quote is probably very true but I think even Mark Twain would tell you don't spoil what could be a wonderful experience in your life by not being properly prepared. Work, save and plan, then move with confidence. You seem to have a good attitude to be very happy if you do make the move. Best of luck.

[JanND]

Originally Posted by cmjones311

I've been interested in moving to Texas for as long as I can remember, even though I'd never been there until this past year. My visit was short, so I didn't see a lot, but I know that I still want to move there because I feel that I'll be happier in general for a few different reasons.

But the thing is, I'm scared to death, for some reason, and I think my fear is going to get the best of me and I'm going to chicken out.

Here, I have family a few hours away from where I live, a decent job, and a home of my own. I can't sell my house because I'm underwater, so I'd need to rent it out, and I'm afraid that I'll get in over my head with money issues if there are tenant problems. I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a job making the kind of money I'm making here, and I'd have to start over from scratch. And even though from what I saw I liked Texas, I wouldn't be able to live exactly where I visited, and would have to be around an hour away in a larger city (work opportunities), so what if I don't like actually living in the city? And even though I only see my family 3 or 4 times a year, I know that they're there only a car ride away if I need them.

How do you get over fears like these?

maybe it is your gut telling you it isn't a good idea. other than that, have a really good plan B, in case you don't like TX. We moved to RI, hated it, and spent 2 years recovering financially when we had to pay to move all our stuff back. It isn't a decision to take lightly.