Moved for a guy. Not sure what to do.

[doctorjef]

Just a note on NOVA -- it is, of course, about the least charming and certainly most crowded part of VA. I do like the old part of Alexandria, which practically puts you in DC, one of the most brilliant cities in the country for younger people IMO. As you know, the main problem is that it is terribly expensive. I'd suggest considering a possible relocation within VA eventually, perhaps to Charlottesville or Richmond, or if you really want to get away from the city, a smaller town in the northwestern part of the state. I would think Charlottesville would be a very cool place to live, especially if you like outdoor recreation. It certainly is beautiful around there.

[Htown2013]

Originally Posted by doctorjef

Changing jobs every year or two is a liability on a professional CV, at least in normal circumstances.

Depends on profession. Liability if gap in employment or lateral moves. If clear promotion with increased responsibilities on every move, I don't see the issue.

[CptnRn]

Everyone makes mistakes, stop beating yourself up over it and move back home if you think you will be happier there. I moved several times before I settled down in Austin. Wyoming > Arizona > LA > Denver > Austin where I have stayed for the last 39 years.

However, if most of the other reasons you moved, aside from the guy, are still valid for you, then maybe you owe it to yourself to take a little more time and see if you can't make more friends and build a life here.

[missela3]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

Why on earth would you stay here? You have no job, no friends, no network here. Seems like you'd feel very isolated.

No offense, but I think you should invest in some counseling to figure out WHY you made such a drastic change in your life. Until you know why, deep down why, you did this, you will still just be running to try to stay ahead of the problem - when the problem is inside your head. The problem isn't Virginia or Texas but at least in Virginia I'm assuming you had some sort of network of friends, some job connections, etc.

Regardless of your decision, please get some counseling.

Just kick someone when they're down and make them feel worse why don't you.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by missela3

Just kick someone when they're down and make them feel worse why don't you.

My point is that before this person makes yet another life changing decision, GET SOME COUNSELING. If hearing that makes her feel bad, I'm sorry. She needs to get to the root of the problem rather than making yet another rash, emotional decision.

[Campeador]

Originally Posted by luvdeezer

Towards the end of last year, I discovered on facebook that a friend of mine from back in the day lived in Texas. We started talking(just catching up initially) and our conversations became a little more flirty and there was a definite interest on both ends. I have lived in Northern Virginia all my life and my commute was starting to get to me, so in light of this developing....whatever it was... I started to look at Texas as a possibility for relocation. I didn't really think of anything other than how much I loved it when I came to visit and how if I moved there I could be closer to this friend. I didn't take into account the life I had built in VA and the friends who are basically like a second family that I would be leaving, or the fact that I can go to the beach or the mountains on a whim without having to drive an extensive amount, or the fact that my parents are only two hours away, or the fact that moving to Texas would put me way too far away from not only my parents, but my extended family who all reside in New York. But I digress...

In the weeks leading up to the move to Texas, I was sad and trying to not think of what I would lose, but what I was supposedly gaining by going (cheaper cost of living, possible life with this guy, winters that don't seem to last forever, less traffic, people who have less of a "me first/do you know who I am?" mentality) but I still found myself thinking "I should stay, maybe this is a mistake, I shouldn't move, ultimately you're moving for a guy (a guy who at this point I wasn't even really sure I wanted anything to do with) and that's ridiculous, I'm going to miss (insert all the awesome things about Virginia here)" but I told myself that I had to go because "people think that I actually won't go through with this", so I made myself "man up" and my last night before the move found me sobbing uncontrollably and not at all excited. As soon as I got to Texas, I wanted to turn around and go home. The guy who I let have way too much sway in my decision to move (my own doing, he never pressured me and I basically made it seem like I was moving for other reasons aside from him) turned out to be a total jerk and I have pretty much cut off all contact with him. That being said, I feel pretty dumb because I basically just uprooted my life and moved halfway across the country to see if there was even a possibility at a relationship for the two of us (there isn't...selfish jackass is not my type) and now I can't decide if I should stay here and try to find work to get experience (I'm a teacher and am certified in TX as well as VA) or just chalk this up to me being a complete idiot and move back home to VA and go back to my job as an assistant because even though being a professional classroom assistant is not my life's goal, it's a full time job with networking opportunities and health insurance. I have only been here about a week and feel like I may have made a huge mistake, but I'm also kind of afraid to turn around and head back to VA because I spent all this time focusing on the things I didn't like in order to try to make myself hate it enough to be excited about moving (never happened) and I was not shy about vocalizing.

Help please!! Thank you!

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a learning experience. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Lots of people never risk anything in life and cling with all their might to the safest options till the end of their lives. Sounds like a great way to live a boring and sheltered life to me. Traveling is a great way to learn. Living in new places will teach you a lot about yourself and the places and people in this vastly diverse world. Of course, you run the risk of getting into these sorts of situations... but they are temporary and can be very informative if you're open to the lessons.

My advice would be to talk to people who know you best and seek their advice and then spend some time on your own reflecting on what you want and why. Someday, you may look back at this chapter as one of the most helpful in your life. Best of luck.

[augiedogie]

Its a learning experience. Go back home where you have friends. You'll be happier in the long run. Everyone makes mistakes. The foolish people are those who are afraid to admit it and learn from them.